Season 2 BtVS Rewrite
by MellowYellow23
Summary: What would've happened if Darla had been around in Season 2 of BtVS, when Angel was evil? I do ship DarlaAngelus so if you don't like them together, don't read this story.
1. School Hard

SUMMARY: So this story is basically: What would've happened if Darla had been around in Season 2 of BtVS, when An-gel was evil. I do ship Darla/Angel(us) so if you don't like them together, don't read this story.  
AN:I will be using the original scripts from S2 only adding my own spin on them. Darla will kinda just fall into it. In this version, Darla comes to Sunnydale with Drusilla and Spike. I'll be rewriting parts of all the episodes that had Dru and Spike in them, starting with School Hard.  
DISCLAIMER:I don't own BtVS or the characters in this story. Don't sue, believe me, I have nothing you want.  
ENJOY!

SCHOOL HARD

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.  
Sunnydale High.  
Snyder: A lot of educators tell students, 'Think of your principal as your pal'  
Cut to Snyder's office. He's lecturing Buffy and Sheila.  
Snyder: I say, 'Think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner.' Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in this school?  
The camera pans from Sheila, looking blase', over to Buffy, looking apprehensive.  
Snyder: Well, it is quite a match between you two. On the one hand, Buffy hasn't stabbed a horticulture teacher with a trowel.  
Sheila: I didn't stab anyone with a trowel. They were pruning shears.  
Snyder: On the other hand, Sheila has never burned down a school building.  
Buffy: W-well, that was never proven. The Fire Marshall said i-it coulda been mice.  
Snyder: Mice.  
Buffy: M-mice that were smoking?  
Snyder: The two of you seem to be tied in the class-cutting and fight-  
starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting.  
Sheila: What does the winner get?  
Snyder: Expelled. (Buffy looks at him in shock) Thursday is Parent-  
Teacher night. Your parents, assuming you have any, will meet your teachers, assuming you have any left. I've decided to put the two of you in charge of this event. You have three days to prepare the refreshments, make the banners and transform the school lounge into a habitable place for adults. This will incur my good will. And may affect what I tell your parents when I meet them. Are we clear?  
Buffy: I'm clear. (to Sheila) Don't you feel clear? (Sheila just looks back) We're very clear.  
Snyder: Good. Because you mess up this time, and your parents will be coming to clean out your lockers.  
Cut to the school's main entrance. The bell rings. Buffy and Sheila come walking out of the building.  
Buffy: Well, it shouldn't be that hard. We can work on the banners at lunch tomorrow and figure out refreshments then?  
Sheila: Yeah, sure, whatever. (yells) Hey, meatpie! (walks off)  
Xander and Willow meet up with Buffy.  
Xander: Snyder's got you guys making party favors, huh?  
Buffy: His two worst students. That's what mom sees when she looks at me. A Sheila.  
Sheila kisses an older boy with long, blonde hair.  
Xander: Well, Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her? That's the guy she can bring home to mother.  
Willow: She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her.  
Xander: (to Willow) You're bad to the bone.  
Willow: I'm a rebel.  
Buffy: It's not fair. I'm the Slayer. That requires a certain amount of cutting and fighting. What's Sheila's excuse?  
Xander: Homework. She won't do it. And most teachers respect that now. Oh, you might wanna keep away any sharp implements when you're working with her.  
Buffy: Do you think any other Slayers ever had to go to high school?  
Xander: It's no biggie. You'll have a nice soire'e. The parents will love it. As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you'll be fine.  
Buffy: Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen!  
Xander: Whadaya mean? Nothing's gonna happen.  
Willow: Not until some dummy says, 'as long as nothing bad happens'  
Buffy: It's the ultimate jinx!  
Willow: What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?  
The girls give Xander looks of exasperation and walk off.  
Xander: Well, you guys don't know. (hugs his satchel) Maybe this time it'll be different.  
Cut to a small park and playground that night. A classic 1958 Dodge Desoto FireFlite crashes through the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign and screeches to a halt. Camera pans on a pair of high heeled black, leather boots coming out from the PASSENGER side of the door. As the camera slowly runs up the leather clad form, we see that it is DARLA in full vamp face. 

DARLA: (sarcastically) Ahh, home sweet home.

Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.  
Part 1 Inside Collin's warehouse.  
Vampire#1: The Master is dead. Someone has to take his place.  
Vampire#2: As long as the Slayer's alive, whoever takes his place will be sharing his grave.  
Vampire#1: Then let the soul who kills her wear his mantle.  
Collin: Can you do it?  
Vampire#1: Yes. This weekend, the night of St. Vigeous, our power shall be at its peak. When I kill her, it'll be the greatest event since the crucifixion. And I should know. I was there.

DARLA: If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would've been like Woodstock.  
VAMPIRE: Who the hell are you? I oughta rip your throat out.

DARLA: I see they're very welcoming here in Sunnydale. (mocking) "I oughta rip your throat out!" very scary!

Vampire growls and charges her. She takes him out with one easy movement.

DARLA: (stepping over the body) So who you gotta kill around here to get some hospitality? 

ANOINTED ONE: Who are you?  
DARLA: Darla. You're that anointed holy boy, angel of darkness and all, right? Gotta tell you, I thought you would have at least cleared 5 feet. (Vampire steps up to protect AO. She giggles and sidesteps him.) So having slayer problems, huh? Sucks for you. 

ANOINTED ONE: Can you kill her?  
DARLA: Well I've never been one for modesty….I've done a few slayers in my day.  
DRUSILLA: Grandmommy?  
Camera pans to show Spike and Drusilla walk into the warehouse. Spike walking protectively close to Dru. 

DARLA: (annoyed) I thought I told you to stay in the car?  
SPIKE: I told her she shouldn't be walking around. (to Dru) You're weak, pet.  
DRUSILLA: Look at all the people. 

DARLA: (annoyed to Spike) I'm working here! Take her back outside.  
DRUSILLA: (continued) Are these nice people?  
DARLA: (sighing) We're getting along just fine.  
DRUSILLA: (walking towards AO) This one has power. I could feel even from outside.  
DARLA: Good. Go feel it from there again.  
SPIKE: (Ignoring Darla) Yeah. He's the big noise in these parts. Anointed, and all that.  
DRUSILLA: Do you like Daises? (off anointed one's look) I always plant them, but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies…Spike I'm cold.  
SPIKE: (takes his jacket off and puts it around her) I've got you.  
DRUSILLA: I'm a princess. (she cuts the flesh of his cheek with her nail and licks the stream of blood away)  
DARLA: (rolling her eyes at their display) We're moving in.  
ANOINTED ONE: What?  
DARLA: The three of us…believe me, I wish it were just me. (off their looks) We'll take care of your slayer for you, if you keep your 'men' from doing anything stupid behind our backs. Ok?  
ANOINTED ONE nods.  
DARLA: I think we'll get along just fine here… So how about this slayer? How tough is she?  
Cut to Buffy's room. She's standing at her mirror, trying to brush her hair.  
Buffy: Ow!  
Joyce: What's wrong?  
Buffy: I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse, and it's neither creamy nor rinsey.  
Joyce: Life is hard, dear.  
Buffy: Don't I know it. Is that a split end?  
Joyce: I got the mail.  
Buffy: Good.  
Joyce: Which included a reminder notice about Parent-Teacher night. Thursday.  
Buffy: That's good.  
Joyce: Which you were planning on telling me about?  
Buffy: Oh, for... (faces her mom) the last two weeks.  
Joyce: Uh-huh. So, what do you think your teachers are gonna tell me about?  
Buffy: Well, I think they'll all agree that I always bring a pen to class, ready to absorb the knowledge. (sits on her bed)  
Joyce: And, uh, this absorption rate? How is it reflected in your homework and test scores?  
Buffy: What can you really tell about a person from a test score?  
Joyce: Whether or not she's ever going out with her friends again.  
Buffy: Oh, that.  
Joyce: Well, I look forward to meeting your principal.  
Buffy: Won't that be something.  
Joyce: (comes over to the bed) Look, sweetheart. Life is more than grades and homework and not getting kicked out of school. (sits next to Buffy)  
Buffy: I know.  
Joyce: But we moved once because of you getting in trouble. And I had to start a new business, not to mention a new life in a whole new town.  
Buffy: And you don't wanna do it again.  
Joyce: What I don't want is to be disappointed in you again.  
Buffy: Mom, that's the last thing that I want, too. (exhales) I'm trying, I really am. I just... I have a lot of pressure on me right now.  
Joyce: Wait till you get a job. Sleep tight. (gets up and leaves)  
Buffy gets up from her bed and walks over to her desk. She pulls open the top left drawer. In it is a jar of holy water, a cross, a few stakes, a set of brass knuckles. She looks up at her reflection in the mirror.  
Buffy: I have a job.  
Cut to the school. Cut to the lounge. Buffy and Willow are working on a banner.  
Willow: Sheila's a no-show? She goes to this really rank bar. The Fish Tank? Sometimes they have raids and other stuff that can make you tardy.  
Buffy: D'you think you can help me cram some French tonight? I don't want Mr. DeJean telling my mother I'm an imbecile.  
Willow: I thought we were going to the Bronze tonight. 'Cause of how you thought Angel might show?  
Xander: If he does he'll meet some other nice girl? Studying comes first.  
Buffy: We're going to the Bronze. I can study and party and do Parent-  
Teacher night and make my mother proud as long as I don't have to.  
Giles and Jenny come walking in.  
Giles: Buffy!  
Buffy: ...fight vampires.  
Giles: (to Jenny) There is nothing in the chronicles about a-an extraneous lunar cycle.  
Jenny: The Order never accurately calculated the Mesopotamian Calendar. Rupert, you have got to read something that was published after 1066.  
Giles: Very funny.  
Xander: What's the up, guys?  
Giles: W-um, Ms. Calendar has been researching, well, uh, surfing on her computer, a-and she's... Well, according to her calculations, this Saturday is the night of St. Vigeous.  
Buffy: Let me guess: he didn't make balloon animals.  
Giles: No, he led a crusade, of, of, uh, vampires. They swept through Edessa, Harran, and points east.  
Jenny: And they didn't leave much behind.  
Buffy: Well, if I survive Parent-Teacher night tomorrow, I'll see what I can do about Saturday.  
Giles: You're being a tad flip, don't you think? This is serious.  
Buffy: And getting kicked out of school is laughs aplenty?  
Giles: You know what happens when you, you let your life interfere with your slaying.  
Buffy: Okay, well, if my slaying doesn't get me expelled, then I promise my banner making won't get me killed, okay? Just please let me get through this week.  
Giles: This Saturday's going to need a great deal of preparation.  
Willow: Well, we'll help.  
Xander: Yeah, I'll whittle stakes.  
Willow: A-and I can research stuff.  
Xander: And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune.  
Giles: Yes, your help will be greatly appreciated, but when it comes to battle, Buffy must fight alone. You are, after all, the Slay... (sees Snyder in the hall) ...slay-ve. Slaves. You're, you're all slaves to the, uh, television.  
Jenny: Yes.  
Giles: Young people nowadays. (to Jenny) Shall we go?  
Jenny: Mm, let's. (they leave)  
Snyder comes over.  
Snyder: (to Willow and Xander) You wouldn't be helping Buffy in Sheila's place, would you?  
Xander: (laughs nervously) No.  
Willow: We're hindering.  
Snyder: She ditched. (takes a deep breath) Mm. I feel an expulsion coming on.  
Buffy: No. No, actually, Sheila's been helping us for hours. Um, she just went to get some more paint.  
Sheila comes in the door behind Buffy and takes off her glasses. Buffy notices Snyder looking behind her, turns around and sees her.  
Buffy: Oh! Oh, is there no more teal in the art room? (goes over to Sheila) I know you wanted everything to be perfect, but let's just go with what we have.  
Snyder: Just make sure everything is perfect on Thursday. (turns and leaves)  
Sheila: Thanks for covering. Guy's a serious rodent.  
Buffy: No problem.  
Sheila: Did you really burn down a school building one time?  
Buffy: Well, not actually one time.  
Sheila: Cool.  
Cut to the Bronze. Nickel is the band tonight. They're in the middle of playing "1000 Nights". Xander dances lamely by himself as Willow helps Buffy with her French at a table.  
Lyrics: A drink you can't resist / And in your head a voice you'll always miss Buffy: La vache... doit me... touche... de la... jeudi. (looks at Willow) Was it wrong? Should I use the plural?  
Willow: No. But you said, 'The cow should touch me from Thursday'  
Buffy: Maybe that's what I was feeling.  
Willow: And you said it wrong.  
Buffy: Oh, je stink.  
Willow: You're just not focused. It's Angel missage.  
Buffy: Well, he didn't say for sure. It was a 'maybe see ya there' kinda deal.  
Xander: Guys, I'm all alone out there. Somebody has to dance with me.  
Willow: Well, we are studying.  
Xander: C'mon, one dance. You've been studying nearly twelve minutes.  
Buffy: No wonder my brain's fried.  
She gets up. Willow starts to protest, but Buffy and Xander drag her along with them.  
Buffy: Come on.  
Spike walks up to their table and watches them dance as the band starts a new song, "Stupid Thing.  
Lyrics: I did a stupid thing last night / I called you / A moment of weakness / No, not a moment / More like three months of weakness Spike walks along the edge of the dance floor and studies Buffy intently. Xander and Buffy dance lively. Willow doesn't move much, but smiles widely, enjoying herself.  
Lyrics: I'm one step away from crashing to my knees / One step away from spilling my guts to you Spike goes over to vampire#1 at the bar.  
Spike: Go get something to eat.  
Lyrics: I'm doing all right / No, don't feel sorry for me / Really I'm all right / I'm one step away from crashing to my knees He comes back to some people near where Buffy, Willow and Xander are dancing and speaks loudly so that Buffy is sure to overhear.  
Spike: Where's the phone? I need to call the police. There's some big guy out there trying to bite somebody.  
Buffy runs from the dance floor. Spike watches her go.  
Cut outside to the alley. Vampire#1 has found a young woman. She trembles with fear as he grabs her neck and moves in for the bite. Buffy grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him off of her. He somersaults and rolls up to his feet.  
Vampire#1: Slayer!  
Buffy: Slayee!  
She does a roundhouse kick to his face. He only flinches a bit. He swings at her, but she sidesteps the blow. She swings back, and he grabs her arm, swings her around and throws her into a metal roll-up door. She hits it high and hard and falls to the ground, but quickly gets up again. He swings again and hits the metal door with his fist when she ducks the punch. Xander and Willow arrive. Buffy blocks the vampire's punch and holds on to his arm. She looks behind her at the others.  
Buffy: Get her out of here!  
She turns her attention to punching the vampire repeatedly in the face. Willow grabs the woman and pulls her away and out of danger.  
Buffy: (to the rhythm of her punches) And a stake would be nice!  
Xander runs to find a stake. Spike and Darla looks on from the side.  
Cut inside to the table. Xander goes though Buffy's purse. He pulls out a yo-yo and sets it aside. He pulls out a tampon and quickly drops it like a hot potato. He finds a stake, and rushes back out.  
Cut to the alley. Buffy punches the vampire's face again and then his chest. He gets loose from her and lands a punch on her face. She goes spinning down to the ground and lies there, momentarily stunned. The vampire looms over her.  
Vampire#1: I don't need to wait for St. Vigeous. You're mine.  
He bends down to get her, and she kicks him in the face. He staggers backward as she maneuvers to he feet.  
Vampire#1: Spike! Gimme a hand!  
Buffy looks over at Spike in the shadows. Xander is back with the stake.  
Xander: Buffy!  
She turns to him and he throws her the stake. She catches it out of the air, and in a smooth, swift motion plunges it home into the vampire's chest. He doesn't even have time to fall before he crumbles to ashes. Darla and Spike come out of the shadows slowly, Darla clapping her hands. Buffy looks at them with a confused expression on her face. Willow and Xander see them, too.  
DARLA: Nicely done. I can see this is gonna be fun.  
BUFFY: Who are you?  
SPIKE: You'll find out Saturday.

BUFFY: What happens Saturday?  
SPIKE: I kill you. (off Darla's annoyed look) What she asked! Fine, fine, I know, you do all the talking. Got it, love.  
BUFFY: Why wait until Saturday? Why not right now?  
DARLA: That wouldn't be a very climactic end to your short life, now would it? Duking it out to the death in an alley? Or beautiful yet deadly stranger plans and executes painful death after giving a fair warning? Now that's a tragic ending!  
BUFFY: (looking stunned for a moment) I guess I'll see you Saturday.  
DARLA: (smiling sweetly) Can't wait.  
(They disappear into the shadows)  
Part 2 The alley outside the Bronze. Sheila comes out with two guys and they walk along the alley.  
Sheila: Alright. Which one's Dwayne and which one's Dell? (hic) Don't tell me. Dell's the one with the tattoos. You guys weren't lyin' about havin' a Cadillac, were you? 'Cause I'm crazy about a Cad. Just the feel of the leather makes me wanna.  
She's gotten a bit ahead of Dwayne and stops to look back at him. She sees he's gone.  
Sheila: Where'd you go?  
She looks the other way at Dell, and he's gone, too.  
Sheila: What's going on? (starts walking slowly, looking around) Where are you guys? Not funny!  
She turns around and is startled by Spike.  
Sheila: Who are you?  
Spike: Who do you want me to be?  
Sheila: Did you see.  
Spike: ...those two losers who thought they were good enough for you?  
Sheila: What happened to 'em?  
Spike: They got sleepy.  
Sheila: Huh?  
Spike: And you got something a whole lot better.  
He slowly walks past her and down the alley. She follows him with her gaze.  
Sheila: Hey, wait up! What's your name?  
She starts after him. The camera follows her, but then pans down to Dwayne and Dell, dead in a pile of trash.  
Cut to the library. The table is full of books, and Xander, Willow and Jenny are looking through them doing research.  
Giles: Spike. That's what the other vampire called him? That's a little unorthodox, isn't it?  
Buffy: Maybe he's reformed.  
Giles: Perhaps he went by another name in... times past.  
Jenny: Well, whoever he is, we'll need all the help we can get come this Saturday.  
Xander: So, this night of St. Vigeous deal. If they're gonna attack in force, aren't we thinkin' vacation?  
Willow: We can't run, that would be wrong. Could we hide? I mean, if that Spike guy is leading the attack, (shudders) yeeehehehe.  
Giles: Well, he can't be any worse than any other creature you've faced.  
Angel: (suddenly appears) He's worse. (they all look at him) Once he starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead.  
XANDER: Hm. So he's thorough, goal oriented…what about the honey that was with him?  
GILES: There was a female vampire with him?  
BUFFY: (looking away from Angel) Yeah. Didn't catch her name, but it seemed to me like she was his leader. He pretty much shut up when she told him too.  
ANGEL: There was a girl with him?  
XANDER: Have you been listening to this conversation?  
ANGEL: If Drusilla was here too, then we're in a lot more trouble.  
GILES: Drusilla?  
ANGEL: That's pretty much who Spike has always been with. Wherever Spike is, Drusilla is not far behind.  
JENNY: Yeah, but times change. Maybe he found himself a new girlfriend.  
ANGEL: No, vampires are pretty monotonous. Just like humans. Spike and Drusilla wouldn't have split up. BUFFY: Did you have a special someone back in the day? (off of Angels silence) We were at the Bronze before. I though you said you might show.  
Angel: You said you weren't sure if you were going.  
Buffy: I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?  
Willow: Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still, like, four hundred (Buffy gives her a look) dates with four hundred different... (looks at the mace on the table) Why do they call it a mace?  
Giles: Uh, we do have slightly more urgent matters to discuss.  
Buffy: Yeah, like keeping my mom away from Principal Snyder tomorrow night?  
Jenny: And not dying Saturday.  
Giles: Angel, do you know if this Spike fellow goes under any other name?  
They all look where he was, but he has disappeared. The library doors finish shutting.  
Xander: Okay, that's it. I'm puttin' a collar with a little bell on that guy.  
Cut to Drusilla's room. There is chanting going on elsewhere. The camera pans from her bed past her TV and lamp and over to her collection of dolls. She lifts one and turns it to face away.  
DRUSILLA: Miss Edith speaks out of turn. She's a bad example, and will have no cakes today. Sh!  
SPIKE: (coming up behind her) Darling, are you going to eat something?  
DRUSILLA: I'm not hungry.  
DARLA: (from doorway) We should've left her in Prague. She's of no use here.  
DRUSILLA: I miss Prague.  
SPIKE: You nearly died in Prague. Idiot mob.  
DARLA: There wouldn't have been a mob if you two would've been more careful in not leaving a trail of bodies' right back to our hotel!  
SPIKE: This is the place for us. Darla and I are gonna kill the slayer Saturday and the hell mouth will restore you, put color back in your cheeks, metaphorically speaking. (Pushing her towards the bed) And in a few weeks time, the stars will align and smile down on us. Then…God, this town will burn. (kneeling over top of Dru)  
DRUSILLA: (laughs) A pretty fire.  
DARLA: Can you all not do that in front of me?  
DRUSILLA: Don't mind her, Spike. Grandmommy's just upset because Daddy isn't here to help us.  
DARLA: What did we say about mentioning him! SPIKE: Ooo, someone's a little testy when it comes to talking about Angelus.  
DARLA: Shut-up, Spike! Go back to kissing your lunatic….I need a fresh kill. (Leaving the room)  
(DRU and SPIKE watch her leave, then Spike rolls off of DRU)  
Drusilla: (hears the chanting) They're preparing.  
Spike: St. Vigeous is coming up. Should be a party.  
Sheila is tied up and gagged with her hands hanging from a hook above her.  
Drusilla: You should go up with them and cleanse.  
Spike: Dru.  
Drusilla: The boy doesn't trust you. They follow him. (sits up) I think sometimes that all my hair will fall out and I'll be bald.  
Spike: (sits up) Never happen. Alright. (gets off of the bed) I'll go up and get chanty with the fellas, but you (goes to Sheila) got to do me one favor. (takes Sheila off of the hook) Eat something. (hands Sheila to Drusilla and leaves)  
Drusilla: (turns Sheila to the dolls) You see, Miss Edith? (cut to the doll facing away) If you'd been good you could (cut to Drusilla in her game face) watch with the rest.  
Sheila looks at Drusilla, but can't scream because of her gag. Drusilla roars and moves in for a quick, violent bite.  
Cut to the school the next day. Willow checks the crossbow. Jenny walks behind her with extra pieces of wood to make stakes and sets them on the table between Cordelia and Xander, who are whittling away. Jenny continues walking over behind Buffy. Buffy holds up a large sharp machete, then starts chopping something with it. The camera pans down to show that it's a cucumber. She's preparing a vegetable tray.  
Giles: For three nights the unholy ones scourge themselves into a fury, um, culminating in a savage attack on the night of St. Vigeous.  
Xander: Does anybody remember when Saturday night meant date night?  
Cordelia: You sure don't.  
Buffy: Ooo! Parents start arriving in an hour. Okay, so, um, banners are in place, the lounge is comfy... What am I forgetting?  
Willow: Punch?  
Buffy: Punch. I need, I need punch!  
Cordelia: My fingers are cramping. How long have I been doing this?  
Xander: Three minutes.  
Cordelia: So, can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly. (Buffy looks up at her) We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax.  
Buffy: You guys hold down the fort. I'm punch bound.  
She leaves the library. As soon as she's gone Xander and Cordelia both reach over and grab something off of the vegetable tray. Buffy sticks her head back in the door.  
Buffy: No!  
Cut to later at Parent-Teacher night. Buffy is doling out the punch into cups. Willow comes over.  
Willow: What kinda punch did you make?  
Buffy: Uh, lemonade. (hands her a cup) I made it fresh and everything.  
Willow: How much sugar did you use? (takes a sip)  
Buffy: Sugar?  
Willow grimaces at the incredibly sour taste, and puts the cup down.  
Willow: It's very good.  
Buffy: Okay, now all I have to do is keep my mother and Snyder from crossing paths for the rest of the night.  
Willow: (sees Joyce) Hi, Mrs. Summers.  
Joyce: Hi, Willow. Hi, honey. Did you, uh, do all this?  
Buffy: Yeah! Um, (picks up a cup) here, have some lemonade. (sees Snyder) Right after Willow shows you the library. I have to stay here and hostess. (puts the cup back down)  
Willow: Great, the library. (puts her arm around Joyce's shoulder) Uh, um, ooo, no, G-Giles and everyone.  
Buffy: ...is locked in there studying. Right. French class it is!  
Willow leads Joyce away. Snyder comes up to Buffy.  
Snyder: Was that your mother?  
She grabs a cup and a ladle full of lemonade and turns toward him.  
Buffy: Here. (fakes a spill) Oh! Oh, sorry! Um, yeah! Yeah, I was gonna introduce you, but, um, she wouldn't have said much. Y'know, she doesn't speak a word of English.  
Snyder doesn't believe a word of it, and makes tracks to follow Joyce and Willow. Buffy lets out a worried moan and looks up at the clock. 6:15. Dissolve to 8:45. Cordelia comes walking in.  
Cordelia: Giles has us locked up in that library working on your weapons. Even slaves get minimum wage.  
She stares at Buffy's face.  
Buffy: What?  
Cordelia: You're starting to look a little slagged. What, are you just skipping foundation entirely now?  
Buffy: Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and a... third unmeshable thing.  
Cordelia: Yeah, and I can see the oil. (sees Joyce talking to Willow) Is that your mom? (Buffy looks) Now that is a woman that knows how to moisturize. Did it, like, skip a generation?  
Joyce: (comes over) Well, I believe that I have seen every classroom on campus, and just as I get there all your teachers miraculously have stepped out.  
Willow smiles over Joyce's shoulder, proud of herself.  
Buffy: Oh! (notices Snyder coming back into the room) Oh. Um, but you haven't seen the boiler room yet. And, you know, that's really interesting, what with the boiler being in the room and all. (laughs nervously)  
Snyder comes up to the group. Joyce offers her hand to him.  
Joyce: Hi. I'm Joyce Summers. I'm Buffy's mother.  
Snyder: (ignores her hand) Principal Snyder. I'm afraid we need to talk. My office is down here.  
Joyce follows Snyder to his office. Cordelia watches them go with a huge smile on her face.  
Buffy: (worried) He didn't look very happy.  
Willow: But you did such a good job.  
Cordelia: When they're done talking.  
Buffy: What?  
Cordelia: My guess? Tenth high school reunion, you'll still be grounded.  
Buffy gives her a look.  
Willow: Cordelia, have some lemonade.  
Cordelia heads over to the punch table.  
Cut to the library. Giles and Jenny continue their research while Xander keeps whittling.  
Giles: Oh, there you are.  
Jenny: There who is?  
Giles: Our new friend Spike. He's known as 'William the Bloody'. Earned his nickname by torturing his victims with railroad spikes. Very pleasant. Well, here's some good news: he's barely two hundred. He's not even as old as Angel is. (frowns) Oh.  
Xander: That's a bad look, right?  
Giles: I think your suggestion of running away this Saturday might've been a good one. Spike has fought two Slayers in the last century, and... he's killed them both.  
XANDER: That's why you made the look…What about our new friend Drusilla?  
GILES: I fear Angel may have been right. It seems that she is Spike's sire and his mate. Not only is she quite dangerous, but also quite mad. She takes joy in torturing and killing her victims. It also says here, she has the ability to see the future, which may be why she is so mad.  
XANDER: So one big scary, powerful vampire party. Yay!  
GILES: Here's a picture of her taken in 1930 in France.  
(XANDER walks over to her)  
XANDER: Ok, I don't know if this is good or bad, but that wasn't the vampire we saw outside the Bronze.  
GILES: What?  
XANDER: This girl was a blonde honey. And that most defiantly isn't her. Hey, maybe he got a new party girl in the last century?  
GILES: I though you said he took orders from her? XANDER: He was pretty obedient-y. GILES: That makes no sense. Vampires are proud; Spike wouldn't just listen to anybody. This woman you saw with him must be very powerful to have him listening and following her like you say.  
XANDER: So another new big and bad in town and we have no idea who she is?  
Cut to the lounge. Buffy and Willow see Snyder come back in with Joyce. She comes up to her daughter.  
Joyce: In the car, now.  
Buffy and Willow exchange a concerned look. Buffy starts to follow her mom out. She turns her head to look back at Snyder, who's going around turning off the lights. Joyce waits for Buffy to join her, and they walk out of the room. Snyder goes to another switch by the back wall next to a large window and turns it off. Two vampires suddenly come crashing through the window. Buffy looks back into the room. Several more vampires follow, and they storm into the room. The people panic and begin to run around. Buffy comes back into the room. The vampires have lined themselves up.  
Spike: What can I say? I couldn't wait.  
Part 3 The lounge. Spike attacks. Buffy grabs a chair and throws it at him, tripping him up. She runs back out of the room and grabs her mother's hand. She turns down the hall to the right, but more vampires come in that way, so she goes the other way. In the lounge Spike grabs hold of a man.  
Spike: Nobody gets out! Especially the girl!  
Cut to the hall. Another vampire is guarding an exit. Buffy heads in another direction.  
Buffy: Everybody, this way! C'mon! C'mon!  
Snyder and several others run past her as she shoves a cleaning cart into the two vampires chasing them. Willow and Cordelia come running out of the lounge and nearly trip over them. They head to their right, but a vampire grabs Cordelia and she screams. Willow grabs a bust from a display pedestal and wields it back for a swing.  
Willow: Hey!  
The vampire looks up and Willow swings the bust hard into his face, knocking him off of Cordelia. Willow grabs her hand and pulls her into a closet.  
Cut to the hall outside the library. Giles, Jenny and Xander come running out.  
Giles: What the hell!  
They see Buffy's group running toward them.  
Buffy: Spike and an army! Look out!  
They look behind them and see a vampire. Jenny screams.  
Giles: Back!  
They run back into the library and hold the door shut as the vampire slams into it. Buffy opens the door to the science classroom.  
Buffy: In here! Now!  
The people all run into the room. Buffy follows them in last and closes the door as the two vampires come running into the hall and begin banging on the door. Cut inside the classroom. Snyder and another man maneuver a storage cabinet in front of the door. Buffy runs over to the other door and closes and locks it. The power goes out.  
Cut to the library. Giles, Jenny and Xander look up from barricading the doors as the lights go off and the emergency lights come on.  
Cut to the hall outside the lounge. Spike is still holding on to the man.  
Vampire#2: We cut the power. Nobody got out.  
Spike: And the Slayer?  
Vampire#2: She either went that way (points to his right) or that way. (points to his left) I saw two others.  
Spike: You don't know! (lets go of the man) I'm a veal kind of guy. You're too old to eat. (grabs his head and snaps his neck) But not to kill. (looks at vampire#2) I feel better.  
Cut to the library. Giles tries the phone, but it's dead.  
Giles: They've cut the phones. (has an idea) Wait a minute. There's an old boarded up-cellar behind the stacks. You can get out that way. (to Xander) Find Angel. He knows about Spike. We need him.  
Xander: No, I'm not going anywhere until I know that Buffy and Willow are alright.  
Giles: No one will be alright unless we get some help!  
Xander gives in and goes. Cut to the classroom.  
Man: Who are those people, and what do they want?  
Joyce: I didn't get much of a look, but is there something wrong with their faces? I.  
Snyder: Yes! PCP! It's a gang on PCP! We've gotta get out of here.  
He grabs a desk, sets it in front of a window and starts climbing.  
Buffy: You can't go outside! They'll kill you!  
Snyder: You don't tell me! I tell you!  
Buffy: (pulls him down) They will kill everybody in this room. Nobody goes out, nobody comes in until I say so. Do you hear me?  
Snyder: Who do you think you are?  
Buffy: I'm the one that knows how to stop them.  
She looks up and walks across the room, trying to find a way into the ceiling. Joyce grabs her by the shoulders.  
Joyce: Buffy, are you crazy? Look, I know you've been accused of fighting and other things, but those guys are serious. You can't go out there.  
Buffy: I know. That's why I'm going up there.  
She grabs a stool, sets it on a lab table, climbs up and pushes a ceiling panel aside. She looks down at her mom.  
Buffy: Don't worry, Mom.  
She lifts herself up into the ceiling.  
Cut to the halls. Spike is looking for Buffy.  
Spike: Slaaayer! Here, kitty, kittyyy. I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck 'em dry. And use their bones to bash your head in. (kicks a door open)  
The camera closes on the closet where Willow and Cordelia are hiding. Cut inside. Cordelia is holding a broom for defense.  
Spike: Are you getting a word picture here?  
Cordelia: (whispers) Oh, God, oh, God!  
Willow clasps her hand around Cordelia's mouth to keep her quiet. Cut to the hall. Spike is about to kick the closet door open when he's distracted.  
Vampire#2: Spike! Listen.  
They listen and hear activity in the ceiling. Cut to Buffy crawling through the ceiling space. Cut to the hall.  
Spike: (sing-song) Someone's in the ceeeeeiling!  
Cut to the library. Giles stuffs several stakes into his jacket pockets, grabs a battle-ax from the table and heads toward the door.  
Jenny: Hey-hey-hey-hey! What are you doing?  
Giles starts to push his way through the barricade they constructed.  
Jenny: There are at least three vampires in that hall! God only knows how many others in the building!  
Giles: (looks at Jenny) Listen! I am the Watcher! I am responsible for her, and I have, I have to go!  
He starts pushing things aside again.  
Jenny: Rupert!  
He looks back at her again.  
Jenny: Be careful.  
Giles: Push these back as soon as I.  
Buffy breaks through the ceiling and drops to the floor. Jenny steps back in surprise. Giles lifts his ax.  
Giles: Buffy! (lowers the ax) You're all right!  
Buffy takes off her outer sweater.  
Jenny: How are the others?  
Buffy: Principal Snyder, my mother and four others are locked in the science room across the hall. Willow and Cordelia ran the other way. (puts on Xander's bag) I don't know if they're... Where's Xander?  
Giles: He got out through the stacks. He's getting Angel.  
Jenny helps Buffy put crosses and stakes into the bag.  
Buffy: Good. Okay, I'm gonna take the vamps out in the hall. After that you get my mother and the others out the same way.  
Giles: Let me help you.  
Buffy: Giles, my mother's in that room. If I don't make it out of here, I know you'll make sure she does.  
Giles: Bloody right, I will. Fair enough. What's your plan?  
Buffy: Well, they split up to hold us here, so I'm gonna take 'em one on one. Set 'em up and knock 'em down.  
She grabs a stool and positions it under the hole in the ceiling. She gets up on the stool and lifts herself back up.  
Giles: Watch your back!  
Cut to the science classroom. Snyder is pacing.  
Joyce: Why don't you sit down?  
Snyder: This is my school. What I say goes, and I say this is not happening.  
Joyce: Well, then I guess the danger's over!  
Man: I'm not waiting for them to open the doors. I'm gettin' out!  
Joyce: Don't be an idiot!  
Snyder: I'm beginning to see a certain mother-daughter resemblance.  
The man climbs up to the window and lifts the sash.  
Joyce: No! Look, you heard what Buffy said!  
Snyder: She's a student. What does she know?  
He takes off his jacket and goes to help the man. The two of them begin bending back the metal slats blocking the window.  
Cut to the hall. A vampire throws himself against the science classroom door. It doesn't budge. He sees Spike looking at him.  
Vampire: Yeah. Door's solid.  
Spike: Use your head.  
He grabs the vampire by the shoulder and shoves his head into a fire emergency case containing an ax. He pulls the ax out, thrusts it into the vampire's hands and continues down the hall. He passes two others pounding on another door.  
Spike: You! Come with me!  
One of the vampires follows him.  
Cut to the science classroom. The vampire begins swinging the ax at the door. Joyce casts a worried look at Snyder and the other man. They get two slats bent aside.  
Snyder: (grunts) I did it!  
The man starts to pull himself through the opening. Snyder helps, but lets go when the man begins to kick and scream while struggling with something outside. Snyder watches as the man is pulled through the window and then steps down. Joyce quickly climbs up, bends the slats back and closes the sash.  
Cut to the hall. Spike is listening for activity in the ceiling. He pinpoints her sound. Cut to the ceiling space. Buffy is making her way through it.  
Cut outside. The man lies dead on the grass. Xander and Angel see him.  
Xander: You know a lot about this Spike guy, so, um... you got a plan?  
Angel grabs Xander by the throat.  
Xander: Good plan.  
Angel drags him into the building.  
Cut to the closet.  
Cordelia: (whispers) I think he's gone. (reaches for the door)  
Willow: (whispers) He could come back!  
Cordelia: (looks at Willow) What are we gonna do?  
Willow: Pray.  
Cut to the ceiling space. Buffy keeps crawling. Cut to the lounge. Spike finds two metal poles and throws one to the other vampire as he goes back into the hall. He listens for a moment and then shoves the pole up into the ceiling. The other vampire follows suit. Cut to the ceiling space. Buffy sees a pole poke through right in front of her. She begins backing up.  
Cut to the hall. The vampire has almost chopped through the door to the science classroom. He steps around the corner to warn the other vampire.  
Vampire: Hey! Guard the door! I'm almost finished!  
He goes back to chopping when Buffy breaks through the ceiling behind him. She pulls him down with her as she drops from the ceiling and quickly dispatches him with a stake. Joyce is looking through the hole in the door, but can't see much of anything. Buffy gets up and looks through the hole.  
Joyce: Buffy! Are you okay?  
Buffy: I'm fine, mom.  
Joyce: Buffy, look, uh, get out of here, okay? We'll be alright!  
Buffy: Look, just hang on for one more minute until I tell you to open the door.  
She quietly makes her way to the other hall, stake in hand. She peeks around the corner and see the other vampire standing there with his back to her. She hears a noise behind her and looks.  
Buffy: Sheila! Where've you been?  
Sheila: Sorry I'm late. There's some really weird guys outside.  
Buffy: Shh! Yeah, I know. They're trying to kill us.  
Sheila: (picks up the ax and smiles) This should be fun.  
Buffy slowly heads back to the other hall.  
Cut to Spike still poking the poles into the ceiling. Angel comes into the hall with Xander. Spike sees him.  
Spike: Angelus!  
Angel wraps his arm around Xander's neck.  
Angel: Spike!  
SPIKE: I'll be damned! Funny old world., we were just talking about you!  
ANGEL: I taught you to always guard your perimeter. You should have someone out there.  
SPIKE: I did. (Leaning closer) We're surrounded by idiots. Wow, I know someone who's gonna be happy you're here! ANGEL: Tell Dru I said "Hi.  
SPIKE: No I mean…(cuts himself off, noticing ANGEL isn't killing XANDER) (cautiously) What's new with you?  
Angel: Everything.  
Spike: Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?  
Angel: She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave the puppy dog 'I'm all tortured' act. Keeps her off my back when I feed! (laughs)  
Spike: (laughing) People still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world!  
Xander: I knew you were lying.  
Angel gives Xander a squeeze to shut him up.  
Xander: Undead liar guy.  
Angel grabs him by the hair and shirt and holds up his exposed neck.  
Angel: Wanna bite before we kill her?  
Cut to Buffy. She and Sheila are about to round the corner.  
Buffy: (whispers) Stay behind me.  
She goes into the other hall and quietly makes her way to the vampire, holding her stake up and ready. Behind her Sheila vamps out and raises the ax.  
Part 4 The halls. Sheila raises her ax. Giles sees through the round library door window behind her and yells out a warning.  
Giles: Buffy! Look out!  
She spins around and grabs the ax from Sheila in mid-swing. She swings it around and hits Sheila in the jaw with the butt of the handle. The other vampire attacks and ducks as Buffy swings the ax at him. The ax gets buried in the wall. The vampire smiles as he straightens back up, thinking he avoided her blow, but then looks down at the stake protruding from his chest. He collapses to the floor and bursts into ashes. Buffy looks over at Sheila and watches her run from the hall, then rushes back to the classroom door.  
Buffy: Mom, now!  
Joyce: (opens the door) Okay, come on, let's go!  
Everyone rushes out of the classroom and into the library.  
Joyce: C'mon! Hurry!  
Buffy: (to Giles) Get them out!  
Joyce: You're coming too!  
Buffy: In a minute! Go! (rushes off)  
Joyce: (watching her go) Buffy!  
Cut to Spike and Angel.  
Spike: I haven't seen you in the killing fields for an age.  
Angel: I'm not much for company.  
Spike: No, you never were. So, why're you so scared of this Slayer?  
Angel: Scared?  
Spike: Yeah. Time was you would've taken her out in a heartbeat. Now look at you. I bet this, uh, tortured thing is an act, right? You're not... housebroken?  
Angel: I saw her kill the Master. Hey, you think you can take her alone? Be my guest. I'll just feed and run. (roars and bends to Xander's neck)  
Spike: (holds up his hand) Don't be silly! We're all friends. We'll do it together. Let's drink to it.  
They both slowly lean in to Xander's neck. At the last moment Spike punches Angel in the face, making him stagger back.  
Spike: You think you can fool me! You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!  
Angel: Things change.  
Spike: Not us! Not demons! Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom! (grabs his pole from the floor) Come on, people! This isn't a spectator sport!  
The vampires roar and attack. Xander barges out the door behind him and runs. Angel follows as the other vampires give chase. Spike senses someone behind him and looks up.  
Spike: Fe, fi, fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice ripe (turns to face Buffy) girl.  
BUFFY: All alone tonight, Spike? Where's your boss?  
SPIKE: Decided to take charge, I've never really liked Saturdays Buffy: (holding the ax) Do we really need weapons for this?  
Spike: I just like them. They make me feel all manly.  
He drops the pole and slowly steps toward Buffy. She drops the ax.  
Spike: The last Slayer I killed... she begged for her life.  
Buffy slowly walks to the middle of the hall, watching him intently.  
Spike: You don't strike me as the begging kind.  
Buffy: You shouldn'ta come here.  
Spike: No. I've messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored. (smirks) I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit.  
Buffy: No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot.  
They start to fight. Cut outside. Angel and Xander fight the other vampires. Cut to the hall. Buffy and Spike exchange several blows. He throws her into the wall. Cut to the library. Joyce is following everyone out through the stacks when she stops and wonders what happened to her daughter.  
Giles: Come on, everyone. This way!  
Cut outside. Xander avoids several punches and kicks. His own punch misses, and he gets kicked to the ground from behind. Cut to the hall. Buffy and Spike keep fighting. Cut outside. A vampire has Xander by the neck. Angel punches her off of him. The others get up again and run from the fight. Cut to the hall. Buffy ducks a punch and lands four of her own in a row. Spike grabs her arm and shoves her into the wall. She slides down it quickly, and Spike's next punch goes through the wall. She gets behind him and kicks him high and hard in the neck.  
Spike: Now, that hurt!  
He pulls his arm out of the wall, ripping a stud out with it, and swings it into Buffy's face. She flies back and lands on the floor, stunned.  
Spike: But not as much as this will.  
He stands over her and wields back the stud to slam it into her, but he gets hit in the head with the ax. He goes sprawling to the floor and looks up at his attacker. Joyce stands above him with the ax in her hands, ready to swing again.  
Joyce: You get the hell away from my daughter!  
Spike holds the stud above himself to protect against any blows. Buffy gets to her feet.  
Spike: Women!  
He gets up and runs through the lounge and out the broken window.  
Joyce: (exhales and drops the ax) Nobody lays a hand on my little girl.  
They embrace. Buffy looks out the window.  
Cut to later outside. The police are everywhere. The camera pans down to the Police Chief talking to an officer.  
Chief: Take care of this.  
The officer nods and leaves. The Chief walks over to his car. Snyder comes up to him.  
Snyder: Hello, Bob.  
Chief: It's over. They all got away. I got a body inside, and I got another one on the south lawn. And it looks like he was pulled right through the window.  
Snyder: I told him not to go through that window.  
Cut to Giles and Jenny coming out of the building.  
Jenny: Well, another wonderful fun-filled evening.  
Giles: Uh, yes. You know, um, I will understand if you decide to start avoiding me.  
Jenny takes Giles' arm, and they walk off together.  
Cut to Angel and Xander.  
Xander: So, when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?  
Angel: I told you. I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.  
Xander: A-and if he bit me, what then?  
Angel: We would've known he bought it.  
Xander stops as Angel continues on.  
Xander: Hey, what's the deal with you being Spike's sire? What's a sire?  
Cut to Snyder and the Chief.  
Chief: I need to say something to the media people.  
Snyder: So?  
Chief: So? You want the usual story? Gang-related? PCP?  
Snyder: What'd you have in mind? The truth?  
Chief: (considers) Right. Gang-related. PCP.  
Cut to Buffy and Joyce.  
Buffy: So, what did you and Principal Snyder talk about anyway?  
Joyce: Principal Snyder said you were a troublemaker.  
Buffy looks down in shame.  
Joyce: And I could care less.  
Buffy looks back up.  
Joyce: I have a daughter who can take care of herself. Who's brave and resourceful and thinks of others in a crisis. No matter who you hang out with or what dumb teenage stuff you think you need to do, I'm gonna sleep better knowing all that.  
Buffy: About how long till this wears off and you start ragging on me again?  
Joyce: Oh, at least a week and a half.  
Buffy: Very cool!  
Cut to later. The last Police car leaves the school. Cut to the hall. The camera pans over to the utility closet. Cut inside. Cordelia is kneeling in prayer. Willow stares at her in disbelief.  
Cordelia: And if you get me out of this, I swear I'll never be mean to anyone ever again. Unless they really deserve it. Or if it's that time of the month, in which case I don't think you or anyone else can hold me responsible.  
Willow: Ask for some aspirin.  
Cordelia: And can you please send some asp... Hey!  
Cut to morning. The sun comes up over the complex where the vampires gather. The camera pans over to their warehouse. Cut inside. Sunlight is streaming through a high window. Spike is standing by a cage. Darla stands glaring at him. While Drusilla stands off to the side.  
DARLA: You attacked the slayer without me!  
SPIKE: It was just so boring here. DARLA: You idiot! You're as crazy as she is! (pointing to DRUSILLA)  
SPIKE: I'm fine, relax!  
DARLA: I don't care about you, moron! You just ruined a perfect opportunity to kill the slayer because you couldn't wait 24 hours to attack her! Whatever happened to listening to me! SPIKE: I'm tired of listening to you! You're all work and no play.  
DARLA: You wanna take me, William? (she puts on her game face)  
SPIKE: (backing away) Fine, we'll do it your way next time.  
DARLA: Damn right, we will! (pissed) Now you get to make nice with the holy toddler. I'm tired of covering for your sloppiness. (leaves in a huff)  
Drusilla: Spike, did she hurt you?  
Spike: It was close, baby, but.  
Drusilla: Oh, come here.  
She pulls his head down onto her shoulder and strokes his cheek and neck.  
Spike: A Slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.  
Drusilla: You'll kill her, and then we'll have a nice celebration.  
Spike: Yeah, a party.  
Drusilla: Yeah. With streamers... and songs.  
Spike: (lifts his head from her shoulder) How's the annoying one?  
Drusilla: He doesn't wanna play.  
Spike: Figures. Well, suppose I better go make nice.  
He walks over to Collin and kneels before him.  
Collin: You failed.  
Spike: I, uh... I offer penance.  
Vampire#2: Penance! You should lay down your life! Our numbers are depleted, the feast of St. Vigeous has been ruined by your impatience!  
Spike: I was rash, and if I had to do it all over again... (breaks out in laughter) Who am I kidding? (stands up) I would do it exactly the same, only I'd do this... (grabs Collin)  
Collin: No!  
Spike: ...first!  
He carries Collin over to the cage. Vampire#2 tries to stop him, but Spike kicks back and knocks him out. He sticks Collin in the cage and closes and locks the door. Drusilla watches as Spike starts pulling a chain, lifting the cage up from the floor.  
Spike: From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual... (stops pulling the chain) ...and a little more fun around here.  
He gives the chain a final strong pull, and the cage is lifted into the sunlight. Darla watches from the doorwawyt o her room. Collin screams.

DARLA: Finally you do something productive! (continues to her room)  
Drusilla smiles at Spike. He smiles back. They step closer together and hold hands.  
Spike: Let's see what's on TV.  
The camera pans up to the cage as they go. The last residue of Collin is still steaming. 


	2. Halloween

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

Pop's Pumpkin Patch. The camera pans down from the sign over the stand past another one counting off the days until Halloween to a pumpkin on the ground aglow with a candle. Buffy lands flat on her back on top of it. She looks up at the vampire that just threw her and sees him coming toward her. She grabs a squash lying on the ground behind her and throws it at him, hitting him in the forehead. She follows it up with a pumpkin. The vampire staggers back a few steps. Buffy hops back to her feet. She pulls a stake out of her shirt and launches it at him. He grabs the scarecrow and pulls it over in front of him so the stake impales it instead. He shoves the scarecrow aside and comes at her with a roundhouse kick. They start fighting hand-to-hand.

Cut to a view of them through a camcorder. The 'record' light is on. Cut to another vampire taping the fight. He gets closer for a better view. Cut to the view through the camcorder. Buffy continues to fight the first vampire. The 'battery low' indicator starts flashing. A moment later the view becomes snowy, and the vampire takes the camcorder away from his eye. He jostles it, and it starts working again. He raises it back to his eye to continue recording.

The fight goes on, and a few hits later the first vampire knocks Buffy into the hay wagon. She holds onto the side of the wagon and kicks the vampire to the ground. She turns around with her back to the wagon and grabs the railing as the vampire gets back up. She raises her legs and grabs the vampire's head in a scissor hold. She twists her body and flips him over sideways onto the ground. Stepping away from the wagon, she spies the sign and then looks down at the vampire. He tries to grab for her legs, so she jumps over him and somersaults to the countdown sign. She pulls it out of the ground and swings it at his legs as he comes for her, knocking them out from under him. She raises the sign and jams the end of the signpost into his chest. The vampire bursts into ashes. Buffy leaves the sign stuck in the ground at its new location and walks out of the pumpkin patch. The second vampire lowers the camcorder and slowly backs away as he watches her go.

Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.

Part 1

The Bronze. A waitress picks up a tray of cappuccino and cupcakes. The camera follows her as she heads to her table. She turns to her right, but the camera continues through the crowd over to Angel sitting alone at a table, looking very bored. A huge spider web and other Halloween decorations adorn the staircase behind him. Cordelia spots him with his bored look and comes over to his table. "Shy", by Epperley, is playing.

Lyrics: I don't say much but I, but I like to sing

Cordelia: I know. Is the Bronze so not happening? Or what? (sets down her drink and sits)

Angel: Oh. Hi.

Lyrics: Won't tell you what I'm thinking

Cordelia: Hi!

Angel: I'm waiting for Buffy.

Lyrics: Just have to wait and sing

Cordelia: Great! I'm supposed to be meeting Devon, but he's nowhere to be seen. It's like he thinks being in a band gives him an obligation to flake.

Angel smiles at the joke.

Cordelia: Well, his loss is your incredible gain!

Cut to the door. Buffy comes in, looks around and sees Angel at the table with Cordelia, laughing. Cut to Angel's table.

Cordelia: So I told Devon, 'You call that leather interior? My Barbie Dream Car had nicer seats!' (they both laugh)

Lyrics: I have no skin left on my, on my fingertips

Cut to Buffy. She's upset seeing Angel there with Cordelia and turns around to leave. Angel notices her as she's about to go.

Angel: Buffy?

He gets up and hurries over to her.

Angel: Buffy!

Lyrics: But still my heart pours out, out from my lips

Buffy: (turns back around) Hi! I'm...

Angel: Late.

Buffy: Rough day at the office.

Angel reaches up to her hair and pulls out a piece of straw.

Angel: So I see.

Lyrics: Well I'm mute, but I'm not quite mute

Buffy: Hey, it's a look. A seasonal look.

Lyrics: And I say the things you want to hear

Cordelia: (appears behind Angel) Buffy. Love the hair. It just screams street urchin. (leaves)

Lyrics: I'm mute, but I'm not quite mute

Buffy: (smiles) Know what? I need to go... (loses the smile) put a bag over my head. (starts to go)

Lyrics: And I keep to myself to defend

Angel: (grabs her arm) Don't listen to her. Please. You look fine.

Lyrics: Yeah I'm alright

Buffy: You're sweet. A terrible liar, but sweet.

Lyrics: Oh now don't want to fight

Angel: I thought we had...

Buffy: A date. So did I. But who am I kidding?

Lyrics: I'm an angel burning out / Oh now

Buffy: Dates are things normal girls have. Girls who have time to think about nail polish and facials. You know what I think about? Ambush tactics. Beheading. Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of. (turns and goes out the door)

Cordelia: (comes back) Cappuccino?

She holds the cup up to him. He looks at her, down at the cappuccino and then back at the door.

Cut to school the next day. Sign-ups are being taken for the volunteer safety program for Halloween. Principal Snyder takes one of the clipboards and looks around the hall. He grabs the next girl that walks by and pulls her aside.

Girl: Hey!

Snyder: You're volunteering.

He holds out the clipboard and pen to her. Willow, Buffy and Xander come in from the other hall.

Girl: But I have to get to class.

Snyder just shrugs. The team walks past him.

Willow: Snyder must be in charge of the volunteer safety program for Halloween this year.

Xander: Note his interesting take on the volunteer concept.

Buffy: What's the deal?

They've reached Willow's locker, and she works the combination.

Xander: Oh, a bunch of little kids need people to take them trick-or-  
treating. Sign up and get your own pack of sugar-hyped little runts for the night.

Buffy: Yikes. I'll stick to vampires.

Snyder puts his hand on her shoulder, and she spins around to face him.

Snyder: Miss Summers. Just the juvenile delinquent I've been looking for.

Buffy: Principal Snyder!

Snyder: Halloween must be a big night for you. Tossing eggs, keying cars, bobbing for apples, one pathetic cry for help after another. Well, (leads her to the sign-up table) not this year, missy.

Willow and Xander come stand behind her.

Buffy: Gosh, I'd love to sign up, but I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome, and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight.

Snyder holds up the clipboard and pen.

Snyder: The program starts at four, the children have to be back at six.

Buffy reluctantly grabs the pen and clipboard and signs herself up. Xander thinks it's funny and smiles back at Willow. Willow has a concerned look on her face. Snyder holds pens out to Willow and Xander, too. They both look at him, begging not to be put through this. Willow gives in and takes the pen. Cut to another part of the hall.

Xander: I can't believe this. We have to get dressed up and the whole deal?

Willow: Snyder said costumes were mandatory.

Buffy: Great. I was gonna stay in and veg. The one night a year things are supposed to be quiet for me.

Xander: Halloween quiet? Oh, I figured it'd be a big old vamp scare-  
apalooza.

They walk into the lounge.

Buffy: Not according to Giles. He swears that tomorrow night is, like, dead for the undead. (the girls sit) They stay in.

Xander: (smiling) Those wacky vampires! That's why I love 'em! They just keep you guessing!

He puts his satchel down on the table and heads over to the soda vending machine. He puts in his coins and hits a button. Nothing. He hits another one. Still nothing. He hits the machine in the front and on the side. Larry comes up to him and puts his hand on Xander's shoulder.

Larry: Harris!

Xander: Hey, Lar. You're lookin' Cro-Mag as usual. What can I do you for?

Larry: You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?

Xander: I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss.

Larry: So, she, she's not your girlfriend?

Xander: Alas, no.

Larry looks over at Buffy as he walks around Xander.

Larry: Do you think she'd go out with me?

He turns to face Xander with Buffy to his back now.

Xander: Well, Lar, that's a tough question to... No. Not a chance.

Larry: Why not? I heard some guys say she was fast.

Xander: I hope you mean like the wind.

Larry: Yeah, you know what I mean.

Xander: That's my friend that you're talkin' about!

Larry: Oh, yeah? Well, what're you gonna do about it?

Xander: I'm gonna do what any man would do about it: (grabs Larry by the shirt) somethin' damn manly.

Larry smiles and laughs. He knocks Xander's hands away and grabs him by the shirt with his right hand. He balls his left hand into a fist and draws back for a punch. Buffy grabs his wrist, pulls it behind his back and slams his head into the vending machine. A Diet Dr Pepper rolls into the slot.

Buffy: Get gone.

She pulls Larry back from the machine and shoves him away. She notices the soda can.

Buffy: Ooo! Diet! (grabs the can)

Xander: Do you know what you just did?

Buffy: Saved you a dollar?

Xander: No, but Larry was about to pummel me!

Buffy: Oh, that? Forget about it! (heads back to the table)

Xander: Oh, I'll forget about it. (follows her) In maybe fifteen, twenty years when my rep for being a sissy man finally fades!

Buffy: (stops and faces him) Xander, don't you think you're...

Xander: (interrupts) A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life. Oh, thanks! Thanks a lot for your help.

He grabs his bag from the table and walks off in a huff. Buffy moans and sits back down with Willow.

Buffy: I think I just violated the guy code big time.

Willow: Poor Xander. Boys are so fragile. Speaking of, how was your date last night?

Buffy: Misfire. I was late due to unscheduled slayage. Showed up looking trashed.

Willow: Was he mad?

Buffy: Actually he was pretty unmad. Which probably had something to do with the fact that Cordelia was drooling in his cappuccino.

Willow: Oh, Buffy. Angel would never fall for her act.

Buffy: You mean that 'actually showing up, wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene' act?

Willow: You know what I mean. Uh, she's not his type.

Buffy: Are you sure? I mean, I don't know what his type is. I've known him less than a year, and if you haven't noticed, he's not exactly one to over share.

Willow: True. It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.

Buffy: Yeah. It's too bad. That stuff is private.

Willow: Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files.

Buffy: Most importantly, it would be wrong.

Cut to the library. Willow and Buffy look in through the round door window. They don't see Giles and give each other a look. Buffy quietly opens the door and goes in. She looks back at Willow, who gives her encouragement. The door closes and Willow looks in through the glass. Buffy quietly makes her way up to the counter and looks around again for Giles. Satisfied that he's not there she heads for his office.

Giles: Buffy!

She spins around and sees him in the cage getting some old books.

Giles: Excellent!

Buffy: Nothing! Hi!

Giles: Yes, I-I just wanted to talk to you about tomorrow night. As it should be, uh, calm, you might work on some new battle techniques.

Buffy: You're beginning to scare me, Giles. You need to have some fun.

She waves to Willow to come in as he's looking down at his books. Willow shakes her head and mouths 'no'. Giles looks up, and Buffy pulls her hand back and pretends she was scratching her head.

Buffy: You know, there's this place you can go, right, and you sit in the dark, and there are these moving pictures, right, and the pictures tell a story.

Giles: Yes, yes, ha, ha, very droll.

Willow quietly comes in.

Giles: I'll have you know that I have very, uh, many relaxing hobbies.

Buffy: Such as?

Giles: Well, um...

Buffy mouths something to Willow to goad her on.

Giles: I enjoy cross-referencing.

Buffy: Do you stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out?

She grabs a book from the stack he's about to take to his office and walks around him to draw his view away from his office door.

Buffy: So! How come Halloween is such a big yawner? I mean, do the demons just hate how commercial it's become? (leafs through the book)

Giles: (puts his books down) Um, it's interesting, ac... Not, I suspect, to you. (takes the book from her) What is it you're after?

Willow has made it to the office door.

Buffy: Of course, it's of interest to me! I'm the Slayer. I need to know these things. You can't keep me in the dark any longer.

Willow opens the door and starts in. Giles grabs the stack of books again and starts to turn to his office.

Buffy: Look at me when I talk to you!

Willow looks over at them anxiously.

Giles: I really don't have time for these games.

Buffy: Ms. Calendar said you were a babe.

Willow looks back again, but this time gives Buffy a look and shakes her head.

Giles: She said what?

Buffy: (meekly) Well, she said that you were a... h-hunk of burning... something or other. So, (exhales) whadaya think of that?

Giles: Uh, I... (exhales) I don't, um, uh... A burning hunk of what?

Buffy: Look. You know how disgusting it is for me to even contemplate you grownups having smoochies, (sees Willow come out of the office with a diary) but I think you should go for it.

Giles: Buffy, I appreciate your interest, but...

Willow hurries past the counter.

Buffy: But I've overstepped my bounds. It's none of my business, you know. (stammers) What was I thinking? My God! Shame, (Willow goes out the door) shame. I gotta go. (quickly walks out)

Giles: (not sure what to make of it) A babe? (smirks) I can live with that.

Cut to the girls' bathroom. Buffy and Willow are sitting on the sinks and looking at a drawing of a noble woman with a tiny waist wearing a billowy gown.

Buffy: Man, look at her.

Willow: Who is she?

Buffy: It doesn't say, but the entry's dated 1775.

Willow: Angel was eighteen. And still human.

Buffy: So that's the kinda girl he hung around? She's pretty coiffed.

Willow: She looks like a noble woman or something. Which means being beautiful is sort of her job.

Buffy: And clearly this girl was a workaholic. I'll never be like this.

Willow: C'mon! She's not that pretty. I mean, look at her. She's got a funny... uh, waist. Look how tiny that is.

Buffy: (sarcastically) Thank you. Now I feel better.

Willow: (exhales) No. She's like a freak. A circus freak. Yuk.

Buffy: (exhales) Musta been wonderful. Put on some fantabulous gown and go to a ball like a princess, and have horses and servants, and yet more gowns.

Willow: Yeah. Still, I think I prefer being able to vote. (Buffy raises her brows) (smiles) Or I will when I can.

Cordelia comes into the bathroom and goes to the mirror.

Cordelia: So, Buffy. You ran off last night and left poor little Angel all by his lonesome. But I did everything I could to comfort him.

Buffy: I'll bet.

Cordelia: (gets out her blush) So, what's his story anyway? I mean, I never see him around. (brushes some onto her cheeks)

Willow: Not during the day, anyway.

Cordelia: Oh, please. Don't tell me he still lives at home. Like, he has to wait for his dad to get back before he can take the car? (puts the blush away)

Buffy: Cordelia, I think his parents have been dead for a couple of hundred years.

Cordelia: (touches up her lip gloss) Oh, good. I mean... (faces them) What?

Buffy: Angel's a vampire. I thought you knew.

Cordelia: (turns back to the mirror) Oh, he's a vampire. (puts away the lip gloss) Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a Carebear with fangs?

Willow: It's true.

Cordelia: (steps over to them) You know what I think? (crosses her arms) I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer.

She walks out. Buffy just watches her go.

Cut to Ethan's Costume Shop. The store is full of mothers with their kids looking for Halloween costumes. Buffy is handling a plastic pumpkin when it suddenly lights up and screams. She quickly puts it back on the counter. Willow comes over to her.

Buffy: What'd you get?

Willow: A time-honored classic! (holds up a ghost costume)

Buffy: Okay, Will, can I give you a little friendly advice?

Willow: It's not spooky enough?

Buffy: It's just... you're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding. You're missing the whole point of Halloween.

Willow: (smiles) Free candy?

Buffy: It's come as you aren't night. The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions.

Willow: Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz.

Buffy: Don't underestimate yourself. You've got it in you.

Willow: Hey, Xander!

He comes up to them.

Willow: What'd you get?

He pulls a toy military rifle out of his bag and holds it up for Willow to see.

Buffy: That's not a costume.

Xander: (gives Buffy a look, then turns to Willow) I got fatigues from an Army surplus at home. Call me the Two-Dollar Costume King, baby!

He smiles at Willow. She smiles back.

Buffy: Hey, look, Xander... (he points the rifle at her) I'm... really sorry about this morning.

Xander: Do you mind, Buffy? I'm trying to repress.

Buffy: Okay, then I promise, from now on I'll let you get pummeled. (puts her chin on his shoulder and pouts)

Xander: (rolls his eyes) Thank you. (Buffy smiles) Okay, y'know, actually I think I could've t...

Buffy is distracted by a costume. She slowly starts walking over to it.

Xander: Hello! That was our touching reconciliation moment there.

She keeps walking over to a frilly, red, billowy 18th-century gown.

Buffy: I'm sorry, it's just... Look at this.

Willow: It's amazing.

Xander: Too bulky. I prefer my women in spandex.

Ethan notices her looking at the dress and comes over to them.

Ethan: Please, let me.

He takes the dress off of its dressmaker's mannequin.

Buffy: Oh, i-it's...

Ethan: Magnificent. Yes, I know. There. (holds it up to her in a mirror) My. Meet the hidden princess. I think we found a match. Don't you?

Buffy: (looks at Ethan) Oh, uh, I-I'm sorry. There's no way I could ever afford this.

Ethan: Oh, nonsense. I feel quite moved to make you a deal you can't refuse.

She looks back into the mirror, takes the dress from Ethan and smiles dreamily as she holds it up to her chin.

Cut to the warehouse. spike and Darla are watching the video that the vampire took of Buffy's fight.

Darla: (watches) Rewind that. Let's see that again.

The vampire rewinds the tape as Spikes strolls around to another monitor. Darla stands, watching the film.

Spike: (chuckles) She's tricky. Baby likes to play.

The scene where she stakes the vampire with the sign replays.

Spike: You see that? (lloks to Darla) The way she stakes him with that thing? That's what's called resourceful.

Darla: (rolling eyes) Rewind that again.

Drusilla: (comes from the other room) Miss Edith needs her tea.

Spike: C'mere, poodle. (holds his hand out to her)

Drusilla: (takes his hand) Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?

Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. That's why we've got to study this Slayer. Once we know her we can kill her. And once we kill her you can have your run of Sunnyhell. Get strong again.

Drusilla: Don't worry. Everything's switching. Outside to inside. (breathes at Spike's neck) It makes her weak.

Darla: Really, what weakens the Slayer? Did you have a vision?

Drusilla: Do you know what I miss? Leeches.

Spike: Come on, talk to Daddy. This thing that makes the Slayer weak? When is it?

Drusilla: Tomorrow.

Spike: Tomorrow's Halloween. Nothing happens on Halloween.

Darla: Maybe Dru's vision thingy is broken?

Drusilla: Someone's come to change it all. Someone new.

Cut to the back room at Ethan's. He comes through the curtain and kneels before his statue of Janus. He presses his hands together and winces in pain. When he pulls them apart there are wounds in his palms, and blood flows freely from them.

Ethan: The world that denies thee, thou inhabit.

He dabs the blood from his left hand with his right middle finger and smears it over his right eyelid.

Ethan: The peace that ignores thee,...

He dabs the blood from his right hand with his left middle finger and smears it over his left eyelid.

Ethan: ...thou corrupt.

He dabs the blood from his left hand with his right middle finger again and smears a cross onto his forehead.

Ethan: Chaos. I remain, as ever, thy faithful, degenerate son.

The camera pans over the top of the statue from the woman's face on one side to the man's face on the other.

Part 2

Buffy's room. She's at her long mirror wearing her gown and a long, black wig. She puts on the second of a pair of earrings. Willow is in the bathroom changing.

Willow: Where're you meeting Angel?

Buffy: Here. After trick-or-treating. Mom's gonna be out.

Willow: Does he know about your costume?

Buffy: Nope. Call it a blast from his past. I'll show him I can coif with the best of 'em. (turns to the bathroom door) Okay, Willow, come out. You can't hide in there all night.

Willow: O-okay, but, but promise you won't laugh?

Buffy: I promise.

Willow opens the door and comes out wearing boots, a short, black leather skirt and a burgundy, long-sleeved, V-necked, midriff-baring top. She's uncomfortable, and quickly steps over to her ghost sheet and picks it up.

Buffy: (smiles) Wow! You're a dish!

Willow tries to hide herself with the sheet, but Buffy takes it from her and tosses it aside.

Buffy: I mean, really.

Willow is very uncomfortable and tries to cover herself with her arms.

Willow: But this just isn't me.

Buffy: And that's the point. (walks around Willow to show her the mirror) Look, Halloween is the night that not you is you, but not you. Y'know?

The doorbell rings.

Buffy: Oh! That's Xander. Are you ready?

Willow: (nervous) Yeah. O-o-okay.

Buffy: Cool! I can't wait for the boys to go non-verbal when they see you! (goes to get the door)

Willow is still trying to cover herself.

Cut downstairs. Buffy comes down the stairs and opens the door for Xander. He enters saluting with his toy rifle in his hand.

Xander: Private Harris reporting for... (sees Buffy in her costume) Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!

Buffy: (curtsies) Thank you, kind sir. (Xander bows) But wait till you see...

They turn to look up the stairs at Willow. She has put on the ghost sheet. It says 'BOO!' on the front in large bold letters.

Willow: Hi.

Buffy: ...Casper.

Xander: Hey, Will! That's aaa fine boo you got there.

Buffy is disappointed. Xander just stares.

Cut to the school. Children are arriving in costume to be taken trick-  
or-treating. Cut inside to the hall by the stairs. Buffy is standing there holding a clipboard, waiting for her charges. Snyder brings them to her.

Snyder: This is your group, Summers. No need to speak to them. The last thing they need is your influence. Just bring them back in one piece and I won't expel you. (starts to leave)

Buffy: (bends down to the kids) Hi.

Snyder: Ah, ah!

Buffy straightens back up and rolls her eyes. Cut to Xander in his soldier outfit. Larry comes by dressed as a pirate.

Larry: Where's your bodyguard, Harris? Curling her hair?

He jumps at Xander, making him flinch. He laughs in Xander's face and goes. Xander points his rifle at him, but then dismisses him.

Cut to Oz checking his guitar at his locker. Cordelia comes into the hall wearing a tight-fitting catsuit and walks up to him.

Cordelia: Oz. Oz.

Oz: (looks up at her) Hey, Cordelia. Jeez, you're like a great big cat.

Cordelia: It's my costume. Are you guys playing tonight?

Oz: Yeah, at the Shelter Club.

Cordelia: Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show-  
up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?

Oz: Yeah, y'know, he's just going by 'Devon' now.

Cordelia: Well, you can tell him that I don't care, and that I didn't even mention it. And that I didn't even see you. So that's just fine.

Oz: So, what do I tell him?

Cordelia: Nothing! Jeez! Get with the program. (walks off in a huff)

Oz: (sarcastically) Why can't I meet a nice girl like that?

Willow comes down the hall in her ghost sheet. Oz turns around and bumps right into her.

Oz: Oh! I'm sorry.

Willow: Sorry.

Oz: I'm sorry.

Willow: Sorry.

Oz: Sorry.

Oz and Willow continue down the hall on their separate ways.

Cut to Xander briefing his group. He's got them all lined up and standing at attention.

Xander: Okay, on sleazing extra candy: tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the old 'you missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?

They all nod their heads.

Xander: Okay, troops.

He turns and faces down the hall. The kids follow his lead.

Xander: Let's move out.

Cut to the streets. A student dressed as a vampire is escorting a group of kids. They walk by Buffy's group coming back from a house. Buffy crouches down to see what they got.

Buffy: What did Mrs. Davis give you?

They all pull out toothbrushes.

Buffy: She must be stopped. Let's hit one more house. (gets up) We still have a few more minutes before I need to get you back.

Cut to the back room at Ethan's. He weaves a spell in Latin.

Ethan: Janus, evoco vestram animam. Exaudi meam causam. Carpe noctem pro consilio vestro. Veni, appare et nobis monstra quod est infinita potestas.

Translation: Janus, I invoke your spirit. Hear my plea. Seize the night for your own reason. Come, appear and show to us that which is infinite power.

Cut to a house. Willow follows her charges along the porch to the door.

Willow: C'mon, guys.

One of the kids wearing a green monster mask on his head rings the bell and steps back. An old lady answers the door. The kid with the mask pulls it down over his face.

Kids: Trick-or-treat!

Lady: Oh, my goodness, aren't you adorable!

Cut to Ethan's.

Ethan: Persona se corpum et sanguium commutandum est. Vestra sancta praesentia concrescet viscera. Janus! Sume noctem!

Translation: The mask transforms itself into flesh and blood. Your holy presence curdles the heart. Janus! Take the night!

Cut to Buffy. A wind begins to blow. She senses something isn't quite right.

Cut to the Lady with Willow's kids. She looks into her empty candy bucket.

Lady: Oh, dear! Am I all out?

Cut to Ethan's. He raises his head.

Ethan: Showtime!

Cut to the Lady's house.

Lady: I could've sworn I had more candy.

The kid wearing a red rubber cap with horns morphs into a horned, red skinned monster.

Lady: I'm sorry, mister monster. (bends down) Maybe I...

The kid with the green mask has changed into a monster also, and grabs the lady by the neck and begins to choke her. The other kids scream and run away.

Willow: No! Let her go!

The red monster attacks the green one, and he lets go of the lady. The two monsters are at each other's throats.

Willow: Stop! What're you doing!

The lady runs into the house and slams the door shut.

Willow: Stop! Hey!

The two monsters keep fighting. Willow suddenly starts to feel weak.

Cut to the street. Xander is standing there watching all the parents and children running around him. Things are being thrown and windows are being broken.

Cut to Willow. She staggers a bit as the two monsters keep fighting.

Willow: Ohmigod! Can't breathe...

She collapses to the floor.

Cut to Xander. He jerks back like he's just been hit by something. He bends over slightly, looks down and lowers his toy rifle. Slowly he straightens back up and surveys the scene around him. He raises his rifle again and cradles the fully automatic M-16 in his hands. He shoulders the weapon and spins around, scanning for a target. When he doesn't immediately find one, he takes the rifle from his shoulder and holds it ready.

Cut to Willow on the porch. She gets up out of her body and looks down at it. She's only wearing her sexy outfit now without the sheet.

Willow: Ohmigod! I'm a real ghost!

She hears automatic rifle fire and turns to look.

Willow: Xander?

She runs out into the street and comes up behind him.

Willow: Xander!

He spins around and points his M-16 at her.

Willow: It's me, Willow!

Xander: I don't know any Willow.

Willow: Xander, quite messing around. This is no time for jokes.

Xander: What the hell's going on here?

Willow: You don't know me?

Xander: (lifts the rifle away from her) Lady, I suggest you find cover. (starts walking past her)

Willow: (gets in front of him) No, wait!

Xander walks right through her. They're both surprised by the experience.

Willow: Oh!

Xander turns around and points his weapon at her again. She turns to face him.

Xander: What are you?

Willow: Xander, listen to me. I'm on your side, I swear! Something crazy is happening. I was dressed as a ghost for Halloween, a-and now I am a ghost. And you were supposed to be a soldier, and now I, I-I guess you're a real soldier.

Xander: You expect me to believe that?

A monster appears across the street, growling. Xander points his rifle at it. It runs away. Willow jumps in front of him.

Willow: No! No guns! That's still a little kid in there!

Xander: Step out of the way!

Willow: No guns! That's an order!

He lowers the rifle.

Willow: We just need to find... (sees her) Buffy!

She runs across the street over to Buffy. Xander follows.

Willow: Buffy! Are you okay?

The monster is back with a friend, and they both roar as they approach. Xander shoulders his M-16 again and takes aim.

Xander: This could be a situation.

Willow: Buffy, what do we do?

Buffy faints and falls to the ground.

Part 3

The street. Xander fires off a couple dozen rounds at the approaching monsters. They turn and run. Xander lowers his rifle. The camera pans down from him to Willow kneeling beside Buffy, who's lying against a tree.

Willow: Buffy, are you alright?

Buffy: What?

Xander: Are you hurt?

Willow: Buffy, are you hurt?

Buffy: (sits up) Buffy?

Willow: (to Xander) She's not Buffy.

Xander: Who's Buffy?

Willow: Oh, this is fun. (to Buffy) What year is this?

Xander takes Buffy's hand and helps her up.

Buffy: 1775, I believe. (confused and hyperventilating) I-I don't understand. Who are you?

Willow: We're friends.

Buffy: F-friends of whom? Y-your dress... Everything is strange! How did I come to be here?

Willow: Breathe, okay, breathe. You're gonna faint again. (to Xander) How are we supposed to get through this without the Slayer?

Xander: What's a Slayer?

A monster comes around the tree behind Buffy and roars, fangs bared and claws raised to attack. Buffy screams and backs off. Xander jumps in and whacks the monster across the face with the butt of his rifle, knocking it down and out.

Xander: I suggest we get inside before we come across anything...

Buffy: (screaming) A DEMON! A DEMON! (gets behind Xander) A DEMON!

A sport utility vehicle comes driving down the street with its headlights on.

Willow: That's not a demon. It's a car.

Buffy: What does it want?

Xander: Is this woman insane?

Willow: She's never seen a car.

Xander: She's never seen a car?

Willow: She's from the past.

Xander: And you're a ghost.

Willow: Yes! Now let's get inside.

Xander: I just want you to know that I'm taking a lot on faith here. Where do we go?

Willow: (thinks) Where's the closest... We can go to a friend's.

Cut to the Summers house. Cut to the kitchen. Xander opens the door and scans the room.

Xander: All clear!

Willow: (walks in) Hello? Mrs. Summers? (no response) Good, she's gone.

Xander closes the door.

Buffy: Where are we?

Willow: Your place. Now we just need to...

There's a banging at the front door. Xander goes to investigate, and Willow and Buffy follow.

Willow: Don't open it!

Xander: Could be a civilian.

Willow: Or a mini demon.

Buffy notices a picture on a table and goes over to look. She picks it up, and sees it's of her wearing a spaghetti strap top. She turns around as Willow comes over to her.

Buffy: This... this could be me.

Willow: It is you. Buffy, can't you remember at all?

Buffy: No! I, I don't understand any of this! Uh, uh, th... This is some other girl! (puts the picture back) I would never wear this, that low apparel, and I don't like this place, and I don't like you, and I just wanna go home!

Willow: You are home!

Buffy is practically in tears. Willow turns back to Xander.

Willow: She couldn't've dressed up like Xena?

Xander scans the outside through one of the small windows in the door. He moves away just as a monster punches through the glass and reaches for him. It pulls its hand back as Xander raises his M-16.

Willow: Not a civilian!

Xander: Affirmative! (takes aims through the broken portal)

Willow: Hey! What did we say!

Xander lets loose a volley of bullets. Willow winces at the noise. Buffy bows her head and covers her ears. Xander rolls away from the door when he's finished his burst.

Xander: Big noise scare monster, remember?

Willow: Got it.

They hear a woman screaming outside. Xander looks out again.

Xander: Damn it!

He opens the door and goes out to rescue whomever it is, pulling the door closed behind him. Buffy runs up to Willow.

Buffy: Surely he'll not desert us!

Willow: (shakes her head) Whatever.

She rolls her eyes and heads into the living room. Buffy is wide-eyed with fear.

Cut outside. Cordelia screams as she runs from a sasquatch.

Cordelia: Somebody help me!

She looks back at the monster chasing her and screams. When she turns back around again she runs into Xander.

Cordelia: Xander! Help me!

Xander: Come inside!

He takes her by her elbow and leads her to the house. Cut inside. Willow watches through the window. Xander and Cordelia quickly come in through the door.

Willow: Cordelia!

Cordelia: Wait a... What's going on?

Willow: Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, and we're your friends. Well, sort of.

Cordelia: That's nice, Willow. And you went mental when?

Willow: You know us?

Cordelia: Yeah. Lucky me. What's with the name game?

Willow: A lot's going on.

Cordelia: No kidding. I was just attacked by Jo-Jo, the Dog-Faced Boy. Look at my costume! (shows the torn sleeve) Do you really think that Partytown's gonna give me my deposit back? Not on the likely.

Xander has taken his shirt off and puts it around her shoulders.

Xander: Here.

Cordelia: Thanks.

Willow: Okay. You guys stay here while I get some help. If something tries to get in, just fight it off.

Buffy: Well, i-it's not our place to fight. Uh, surely some men will protect us.

Cordelia: What's that riff?

Willow: I-it's like amnesia, okay? They don't know who they are. Just sit tight. (starts to go)

Cordelia: Who died and made her the boss?

Willow walks through the wall behind Cordelia. Buffy stares in wide-eyed amazement.

Cut outside. Several monsters are chasing people down the street past Spike.

Spike: Well! This is just... neat!

Cut inside. Xander brings a chair over from the dining room.

Xander: (to Cordelia) You! Check upstairs. Make sure everything's locked up.

He positions the chair to help hold the table they've upended against the window in place. Cordelia heads upstairs.

Buffy: Surely there's somewhere we can go. A safe haven.

Xander: Lady said stay put.

Buffy: You would take orders from a woman? A-are you feeble in some way?

Xander: Ma'am, in the Army we have a saying: sit down and shut the...

He sees a picture on the floor

Xander: Whoa!

He picks it up. It's of the three of them.

Xander: She must be right. We must have some kind of amnesia.

Buffy: I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't have it. I bathe quite often!

Xander: How do you explain this?

Buffy: I don't! I was brought up a proper lady. I-I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a Baron.

Xander: This ain't no tea party, princess. Sooner or later you're gonna have to fight!

Buffy: Fight these low creatures? (snotty) I'd sooner die. (crosses her arms)

Xander: Then you'll die.

Angel comes in from the kitchen.

Angel: Oh, good! You guys are alright. It's total chaos out there.

They both look at him.

Buffy and Xander: Who are you?

Cut to the library. Giles is going through a stack of cards he's pulled from the card catalog. He hears yelling and sirens outside and looks up, wondering what's going on. He sees Willow come though the wall and jumps in complete surprise, letting the cards fly all over the place.

Giles: Jeez!

Willow: Hi.

Giles: (calms down a bit) Uh... ah... (speechless) huh...

Cut to Buffy's house.

Angel: Okay, somebody wanna fill me in?

Xander: Do you live here?

Angel: No, and you know that. Buffy, (she jumps) I'm lost here. You... What's up with your hair?

Cordelia: (comes back in) They don't know who they are, everyone's turned into a monster, it's a whole big thing. (smiles) How are you?

The lights go out. Buffy grabs Cordelia in fright.

Cordelia: Do you mind?

Buffy lets go of her.

Xander: (to Angel) You take the princess and secure the kitchen. Catwoman, you're with me.

Cordelia follows Xander as Angel heads for the kitchen.

Buffy: But I don't wanna go with you! I-I like the man with the musket!

Angel: (takes her arm) C'mon.

Buffy: Do you have a musket?

They go into the kitchen. Angel sees that the door is open.

Angel: I didn't leave that open.

He quietly moves toward the door as he looks around for an intruder. He closes the door. The basement door behind Buffy opens, and a vampire attacks her. She tries to push the door closed on him. Angel grabs the vampire and wrestles him to the floor. It's the student escort in a vampire costume.

Angel: A stake!

Buffy: A what?

Angel: Get me a stake!

Buffy looks around and grabs a knife she sees on the counter.

Angel: Hurry up!

He turns to look what's keeping her and has his game face on. Buffy screams at the top of her lungs. She runs for the door.

Angel: Buffy, no!

She opens the door and runs out.

Cut to the library. Giles is in the cage getting a stack of old papers. He blows the dust off of them and comes back out. Willow is looking at a book.

Willow: I don't even know what I'm looking for. Plus I can't turn the page.

Giles: Well, alright, l-let's, let's, let's review. (sets the papers on the table) Um, so everybody became, uh, whatever they were masquerading as.

Willow: Right. Xander was a soldier and Buffy was an 18th-century girl.

Giles: (confused) A-and, uh, your, your costume?

Willow: I'm a ghost!

Giles: Yes. Um... w, uh, uh, uh, the ghost of what, exactly?

Willow: (covers her midriff with her arms) Well, this is nothing. You should see what Cordelia was wearing. A-a, a unitard with cat things, like ears and stuff.

Giles: Good heavens. Uh, sh-sh-she became an actual feline?

Willow: No! She was the same old Cordelia. Just in a cat costume.

Giles: She didn't change.

Willow: No. Hold on... Partytown. She told us she got her outfit from Partytown.

Giles: A-a-and everyone who changed, they, they, they, they acquired their costumes where?

Willow: We all got ours at a new place. Ethan's.

Cut to an alley. Buffy runs between all the trash that's piled up there.

Cut to the street. Cordelia, Angel and Xander are looking for Buffy. Xander has his rifle raised and ready. The camera follows them as they walk.

Xander: Are you sure she came this way?

Angel: No.

Cordelia: She'll be okay.

Angel: Buffy would be okay. Whoever she is now, she's helpless. C'mon!

The camera moves behind a tree where Darla and Spike are hiding and overhearing their conversation. He turns to the child monsters Willow was chaperoning.

Spike: Do you hear that, my friends?

The monsters nod and growl.

Spike: Somewhere out here is the (cut to Buffy running down the alley) tenderest meat you've ever tasted, and all we have to do is find her first!

Darla: She's mine. You see her, do NOT kill her!

Buffy has stopped running and leans against a crate. She sniffs and looks around, frightened.

Part 4

The alley. Buffy looks around, trying to decide what to do. She lifts her skirt a bit and starts to walk. She turns around to look behind her and takes a few steps backward. When she turns back around Larry, who has turned into a pirate, startles her. He smiles widely at her, showing his rotten teeth.

Larry: Pretty, pretty!

Buffy tries to run away, and Larry gives chase.

Cut to Ethan's Costume Shop. Giles looks around as he and Willow come in.

Giles: Hello! Anyone home?

Willow sees the curtain to the back room partially open.

Willow: Giles...

They slowly go in and see the statue of Janus there. Its eyes glow green.

Giles: Janus. Roman mythical god.

Willow: What does this mean?

Giles: Primarily the division of self. Male and female, light and dark.

Ethan: (appears) Chunky and creamy. Oh, no, sorry, that's peanut butter.

Giles stares at Ethan as though he's seen a ghost.

Giles: Willow, get out of here, now.

Willow: But...

Giles: Now!

She obeys him and goes.

Giles: Hello, Ethan.

Ethan: Hello, Ripper.

Cut to the alley. Buffy backs away from Larry. She turns to run, but trips and falls. Her gown billows out around her. Larry grabs her as she tries to get up and shoves her against a crate. He pushes her hair away from her frightened face and moves in to kiss her. Xander comes running and tackles Larry down to the pavement. He gets up and pulls Larry up and into a metal warehouse door. He punches him in the face and gut. Larry pushes him off and into the opposite alley wall and punches him back in the gut. Xander grabs Larry's arm and pulls it behind his back, forcing him to bend over, and knees him in the stomach. Cordelia arrives behind Buffy with Angel.

Cordelia: Buffy! Are you okay?

Buffy sees Angel, yelps and cowers behind a box.

Cordelia: What's your deal? Take a pill!

Larry attacks Xander with his pirate's sword. Xander sidesteps him, grabs him by the wrist and twists his arm around, making him drop the sword. He lifts Larry back up and punches him, sending him sprawling into a pile of trash.

Buffy: He's, he's a vampire!

Cordelia: (to Angel) She's got this thing where she thinks... (exasperated) Uhhh, forget it. (to Buffy) It's okay. Angel is a good vampire. He would never hurt you.

Buffy: (slowly stands up) Really?

Cordelia: Absolutely. He's our friend.

Angel heads over to Xander fighting Larry. Xander punches Larry, sending him into the pile of trash and a stack of boxes again. Several boxes fall off of the top and onto Larry. He is knocked out cold.

Xander: (to Angel) It's strange, but beating up that pirate gave me a weird sense of closure.

Willow comes running down the alley from the other end.

Willow: Guys!

Angel: Willow!

Willow: Guys, you gotta get inside.

She looks back and they see Spike and his monster gang coming.

Xander: We need a triage!

Angel: (points the other way) This way! Find an open warehouse.

Xander turns and picks up his rifle.

Xander: Ladies, we're on the move!

He quickly heads down the alley. Cordelia and Willow follow him. Angel lifts Buffy and carries her away. Spike and the monsters walk after them at a quick, deliberate pace.

Cut to Ethan's.

Ethan: What? No hug? Aren't you pleased to see your old mate, Rupert?

Giles: I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne.

Ethan: Yes, it does, doesn't it? Don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but it's genius. The very embodiment of 'be careful what you wish for'.

Giles: It's sick, brutal, and it harms the innocent.

Ethan: Oh, and we all know that you are the champion of innocents and all things pure and good, Rupert. It's quite a little act you've got going here, old man.

Giles: It's no act. It's who I am.

Ethan: Who you are? The Watcher, sniveling, tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not. I know who you are, Rupert, and I know what you're capable of. (considers) But they don't, do they? They have no idea where you come from.

Giles: Break the spell, Ethan. Then leave this place and never come back.

Ethan: Why should I? What's in the bargain for me?

Giles: You get to live.

Ethan: Oh, Rupert, you're scaring me.

Giles punches him in the gut with a left, making him double over, and follows up with a right to the face.

Cut to the alley. Angel has gotten ahead of the others and finds an open warehouse.

Angel: Over here!

Xander pushes the door aside, and they all hurry in.

Xander: Check if there are any other ways in!

He slides the door closed again as Angel sets Buffy back down on her feet next to Cordelia.

Angel: Just stay here.

The monsters arrive and start pounding on the door from outside. Xander picks up a large grate and sets it in front of the door on top of some barrels he's already moved into place. Buffy is holding on tightly to Cordelia.

Cordelia: Oh, faboo, more clinging.

Xander picks up another grate and sets it behind the first one as the monsters get the door open. They pound against it as he tries to hold it in place.

Xander: GOOOOO!

They all start running again, and Xander follows when he can no longer hold the grating against the monsters. The grates fall to the floor as two monsters come in and push the barrels aside. Spike follows them in and looks around. He leads the monsters off after them.

Cut to Ethan's. Ethan is on the floor, severely beaten up.

Ethan: And you said the Ripper was long gone.

Giles: Tell me how to stop the spell.

Ethan: Say 'pretty please'.

Giles kicks him hard in the kidney, and he yells out in pain.

Cut to the warehouse. Darla has caught up with them, and the monsters hold Xander and Angel. She slowly closes in on Buffy as she backs away, trembling.

Darla: Look at you. Shaking. Terrified. Alone. Almost takes the glory out of all this...Almost.

Buffy has backed up against a crate and can't go any further. Darla slaps her across the face with the back of his hand.

Spike: (from doorway) I love it.

Angel struggles with the two monsters holding him.

Angel: Buffy!

Spike: (to Angel) Don't worry, good buddy. I'm sure Darla will make it quick...okay Im lying.

Darla puts her left hand around her throat and bends her backward onto the crate. She strokes her forehead with her right hand. Xander struggles with his two captors. Darla grabs Buffy's hair and closes in for the bite.

Cut to Ethan's. Giles kicks him again.

Giles: Now, tell me how to stop the spell.

Ethan: Janus. Break its statue.

Giles grabs the statue and lifts it over his head to smash it.

Cut to the warehouse. Xander gets free of the monsters and punches one in the face, the other in the gut, and then shoves the second monster into the first. Darla closes in on Buffy. Xander turns his attention to Spike.

Willow: Now that guy you can shoot.

Xander grabs his M-16.

Cut to Ethan's. Giles throws the statue hard to the floor, smashing it into tiny pieces.

Cut to the warehouse. Xander shoulders his toy rifle.

Xander: What the...

The monsters have all turned back into children and student escorts. The kids are frightened, and begin to cry and complain.

Kid: I'm scared! I want my mommy!

Darla looks back at them and straightens up. She pulls on Buffy's hair to pull her up and finds she just has a wig in her hands. She looks at Buffy. She gets up off of the crate and smiles at her.

Buffy: Hi, honey. I'm home.

She punches her in the gut, twice in the face, and kicks her in the chest, making her stagger back into a set of mobile stairs.

Buffy: You know what? It's good to be me.

Darla: (turning to Spike) Your moron of a girlfriend was wrong...again!(looks to Buffy) Damn, and I was so close. (looks to Angel) Later, lover.

Darla brings a pipe up off the ground and slams it into Buffy's stomache and then into Angel's chin from underneath. He flies back onto the crate, then slides off onto the floor. He lands on his feet, but looks disoriented.

Buffy: Angel!(picks up pipe and turns to look at Darla, only to find her and Spike gone)

Angel: I'm good. Nothing like a little unexpected pipe injury to say Happy Halloween.

Cut to Ethan's. Giles looks behind him and sees that Ethan has gone.

Cut to the warehouse. Buffy drops the pipe and turns to the others. Xander comes over to her.

Xander: Hey, Buff. Welcome back.

Buffy: Yeah! You, too.

Cordelia: You guys remember what happened?

Xander: It was way creepy. It's like I was there, but I couldn't get out.

Cordelia: Yeah, I know the feeling. This outfit's totally skintight.

She looks up at Angel as he comes over to Buffy.

Angel: You okay?

Buffy: Yeah.

He puts his arm around her shoulders and leads her away.

Cordelia: Hello! It felt like I was talking, my lips were moving and...

Xander: (shakes his head). Give it up, Cordy. You're never gonna get between those two. Believe me, I know.

Cordelia: Well, (indicates the kids) I guess you better get them back to their parents.

Xander: (looks around) Yeah, everybody seems to... Where's Willow?

Cut to the house where Willow collapsed. The camera pans from the pumpkin over to her. She wakes and gets up, pulling the ghost sheet off. She's a bit out of breath. She realizes how she's dressed and starts to put the sheet back on, but thinks better of it and throws it into a trashcan as she walks off the porch.

Cut to the street. Oz is driving along in his van. He pulls to a stop at an intersection and sees Willow cross the street in front of him. He watches her as she continues away. "How She Died", by Treble Charger, plays on the van's stereo.

Lyrics: You got the best of me / And, gee, you took so long / The things you put me through / Seemed to be so wrong

Oz: Who is that girl?

Lyrics: You took your...

Cut to the Summers house. Cut to Buffy's room. Angel is lounging on her bed. She opens the door and comes in wearing a tank top and sweatpants.

Buffy: Tada. Just little old 20th-century me.

Angel: Sure you're okay?

Buffy: I'll live.

She walks over to him, and he sits up on the bed.

Angel: I don't get it, Buffy. Why'd you think I'd like you better dressed that way?

Buffy: (sits next to him) I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.

Angel: (ironically) Oh, ho.

Buffy: What?

Angel: I hated most of the girls back then. Especially the noble women.

Buffy: (nods) You did.

Angel: They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. Very few proved me wrong. But for a long time, I wished I could meet someone... exciting. (looks her in the eyes) Interesting.

Buffy: Really? Interesting how?

Angel: You know how.

Buffy: Still, I had a really hard day. You should probably tell me.

Angel: (smiles and draws nearer) You're right. I should.

Buffy: (gets closer) Definitely.

They kiss gently yet passionately. She cradles his face in her hands.

Cut to Ethan's. The place has been emptied. Giles comes in the front door. He walks over to the main counter and looks around. He sees a note propped up on another counter and goes over to it. He picks it up and reads it.

Note: Be seeing you... 


	3. Lie To Me

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

Sunnydale Park after dusk. The playground is deserted. The carousel slowly turns, and the swings move in the light evening breeze. The only person there is a boy sitting on the jungle gym, waiting for his ride home.

BOY: Come on, Mom. She's always late…  
DARLA emerges behind the swings in a flowing, black dress.

DARLA: You waiting for your mom to pick you up, sweetie?

BOY: Yeah. She's gonna be here any second.

DARLA: (Pauses a minute, looking around) I don't see her. Want me to walk you home?

BOY: (thinking) I…I'm not supposed to talk to strange people.

DARLA: (smiling) Well, then it's a good thing I'm not exactly people…(morphs into vamp face)  
ANGEL steps in between the BOY and DARLA 

ANGEL: Run home!

The boy only hesitates for a moment before running off. Darla watches him run away in dismay. Angel takes a breath and turns around to face her.

DARLA: (going back to normal) Way to ruin a party, Angelus. (pouts) I would've shared.  
ANGEL: Hello, Darla. 

DARLA: It's been awhile. Still neutered? (eyeing him appreciatively) Well at least you maintained that body…  
ANGEL: What are you doing here Darla?  
DARLA: Just having a little fun, lover. You remember what that used to be like?  
ANGEL: You need to leave town now. Get Spike and Dru and leave. 

DARLA: Still got the art of threatening down. Just enough fake concern, just enough malice. 

ANGEL: I'm not threatening. And I'm not gonna warn you twice.  
DARLA: So you've said. Just curious, what will happen if I don't? (Slowly circling him) Would you kill me? (Off his silence) No, I don't think you would. 

ANGEL: Maybe I wouldn't have too.  
DARLA: Are you implying that your little girlfriend would do the job for you?  
ANGEL: You sound scared there, Darla.

Buffy senses something and heads for the edge of the roof. Cut to the park.

DARLA: (laughing and playing with the lapels of his leather jacket) Of that cheerleader? Honestly, Angel! I thought you knew me better than that.  
ANGEL: Things change.  
DARLA: Not us. Not you and I. It's always been there between us, baby. There's no denying that.

Buffy looks over the edge and sees them standing close together. She can overhear.

ANGEL: There was a long time ago, not anymore.  
DARLA: (coos) My boy, I know you inside and out. We were together for 150 years. I know all your quirks, what makes you mad,…what turns you on…(she cut the base of his neck lightly with her nail and watched as droplets of deep crimson cascade down his neck)  
ANGEL: (taking a deep breath, obviously affected) You knew Angelus. I'm not him.  
DARLA: No? Is that what you're telling yourself these days? So you're saying if I do this…(she gently licked the spilled blood off of his neck and nipped at his collarbone)... you wouldn't care? (off Angel's groan) Hmm…I think you and Angelus are very much the same. 

ANGEL: Believe me, we're different. 

DARLA: I thought that too when I first learned you were here. I gotta say I thought I was losing my touch when I couldn't sense you right away. I thought maybe because of that disgusting soul you have, you were different from my boy. But I just had to get through all your layers of 'good' to get to the real you: the evil you.  
ANGEL: If I remember right, you had a hand in getting me this 'disgusting soul.  
DARLA: Worst mistake of my life, giving you that gypsy. If I would've known she was to be your downfall, I would've given you a nice virgin for your birthday.  
ANGEL: This has gotta stop, Darla. You need to go.  
DARLA: That's where you're wrong, love, this'll never stop. (turns to leave) Well, it's been fun. I'll see you around, baby. 

DARLA disappears into the shadows.

Buffy swallows at what she sees. Angel watches DARLA go for another moment, then turns to leave also. Buffy steps away from the edge of the roof and runs off.

Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.

Part 1

Sunnydale High School the next morning.

Jenny: It's a secret!

Cut inside. Jenny and Giles come down the stairs.

Giles: What kind of a secret?

Jenny: Uh, the kind that's secret. You know, where I don't actually tell you what it is.

Giles: I think it's customary that when two people are going out on an evening that they, they both have an idea of where they're going.

Jenny: Oh, come on! Where is your sense of adventure?

Giles: Well, I, I... Uh, how will I know what to wear?

Jenny: (looks at his tweed suit) Do you own anything else?

Giles: Uh, w-well, not as such, no, um...

Jenny: (laughs) Rupert, you're gonna have to trust me.

Giles: Alright, alright, I p-put myself in your hands.

Jenny: That sounds like fun. (starts on her way) Okay, tomorrow night, 7:30, right?

Giles: Yes.

Buffy comes up to him as Jenny leaves.

Buffy: Hey.

Giles: Hello. (they start to the library) Um, did we hunt last night?

Buffy: I did a couple quick sweeps downtown.

Giles: Any encounters?

Buffy: Nothing vampirey.

Giles: Uh, I've been researching your friend Spike. Uh, the profile is fairly unappetizing. But I-I still haven't got a bead on why he's here.

Buffy: You'll figure it out.

Giles: You alright? You seem a little glum.

Buffy: I'm fine.

They stop outside the library.

Giles: Why don't you take the night off?

Buffy: Okay. That'd be nice.

Giles: Yes. You could spend some time with Angel.

Buffy: I don't know. He might have other plans.

She walks off to class. Giles wonders what that was all about.

Cut to class. Buffy opens a note from Willow.

Note: Do you know who she was?

Boy: Well, it seems like Louis XVI was just sort of a weak king.

Buffy and Willow glance at each other. Buffy starts to write an answer to the note.

Teacher: That's fair enough. Uh, any other impressions?

The camera pans forward to Cordelia sitting in front of Buffy. Xander is across from her in front of Willow, and looks over at Cordelia with his head propped up on his fist.

Cordelia: I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort.

Buffy has finished her answer to Willow's note.

Answer: No, blonde hair, black dress, pretty... it was dark, I think it was the vamp with Spike the other night

Cordelia: And I know the peasants were all depressed...

Xander: I think you mean 'oppressed'.

Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky.

Buffy folds the note and hands it back to Willow.

Cordelia: So they're, like, 'Let's lose some heads'. Uhhh! That's fair. And, and Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake!

The camera pans over to Willow finishing another note.

Teacher: Yes, well, that's a very interesting perspective.

Willow hands Buffy the note.

Teacher: Um, would anyone else like to comment?

Buffy opens the note.

Note: Angel knows her?

The bell rings. Cut to the hall. Buffy, Willow and Xander come out of class.

Buffy: I don't know. Maybe. They seemed pretty friendly.

Xander: Who's friendly?

Buffy: No one.

Willow: Angel and a girl.

Buffy: Willow, do we have to be in total share mode?

Xander: Hey, it's me. If Angel's doing somethin' wrong, I wanna know. 'Cause it gives me a happy! (smiles)

They head into the lounge.

Buffy: Mm, I'm glad someone has a happy.

Xander: Aw, you just need cheering up. And I know just the thing! (does a wild move) Crazed dance party at the Bronze!

Buffy: I dunno. (crosses her arms, depressed)

Xander: Very calm dance party at the Bronze? (Buffy gives him a glum look) Moping at the Bronze.

He sits on a couch next to Willow. Ford walks up the steps behind Buffy.

Ford: I'd suggest a box of Oreos dunked in apple juice, but maybe she's over that phase.

Buffy uncrosses her arms and turns around.

Buffy: Ford?

Ford: Hey, Summers!

They embrace.

Ford: How ya been?

Buffy: Oh, my God! What are you doing here?

They let go and hold both hands.

Ford: Uh, matriculating.

Buffy: Huh?

Ford: I'm finishing out my senior year at Sunnydale High. Dad got transferred.

Buffy: This is great!

Ford: I'm glad you think so.

Xander is not pleased.

Ford: I didn't think you'd remember me.

Buffy: Remember you? Duh! We only went to school together for seven years. You were my giant fifth grade crush.

Xander: So! You two know each other.

Buffy: Oh! (turns to Xander and Willow) I'm sorry. Um, this is Ford! Uh, Billy Fordham, this is Xander and Willow!

Buffy and Ford go to sit on the other couch.

Xander: Hi.

Ford: Hey.

Willow: Nice to meet you!

Buffy: Uh, Ford and I went to Hemery together in L.A. (to Ford) And now you're here. For real?

Ford: Dad got the transfer, and boom, he just dragged me outta Hemery and put me down here.

Buffy: This is great! Well, I mean, it's hard, sudden move, all your friends, delicate time, very emotional, but let's talk about me! (puts her hand on his knee) This is great!

Willow: (smiles) So, you two were sweeties in fifth grade?

Buffy: Not even. Ford wouldn't give me the time of day.

Ford: Well, I was a manly sixth-grader. I couldn't bother with someone that young.

Buffy: It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song 'I Touch Myself'.

She realizes how what she just said could be taken and casts a nervous look at Xander and Willow.

Buffy: Of course, I had no idea what it was about.

Ford nervously scratches his temple with his finger. Xander just smiles and nods.

Buffy: (to Ford) Hey, are you busy tonight? We're going to the Bronze, it's the local club, and you have to come.

Ford: I'd love to! But if you guys already had plans... Would I be imposing?

Xander: No, only in the literal sense.

Ford: Okay, then! I, I gotta find the admissions office, (gets up) uh, get my papers in order.

Buffy: Well, you know what, (gets up) I'll take you there, and I'll see you guys in French! (takes Ford's arm)

Ford: It was good to meet you. (they go)

Xander smiles at them until they've gone. Next to him Willow has a thoughtful look on her face.

Xander: (sarcastically) This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my friends! Jeez, doesn't she know any fat guys?

Willow: (realizes) Oh, that's what that song is about!

Cut to the Bronze. Xander, Willow and Ford are playing pool. Ford sinks his shot and sets up for another as Buffy arrives at the table.

Buffy: Ford! You made it.

Ford: Wasn't hard to find.

Willow: Buffy, Ford was just telling us about the ninth grade beauty contest, and the, uh, swimsuit competition.

Buffy: Oh, my God, Ford, stop that! The more people you tell, the more people I have to kill.

Ford: You can't touch me, Summers. I know all your darkest secrets.

Xander: Care to make a small wager on that?

Buffy: I'm gonna go get a drink. Ford, try not to talk.

She heads for the bar and finds Angel there.

Buffy: Hi.

Angel: Hey! I was hoping you'd show.

Buffy: (sees he has a drink) You drink! I mean, drinks. Non-blood things.

Angel: There's a lot about me you don't know.

Buffy: I believe that.

Cut to the pool table. They're racking them up. Ford sees Buffy with Angel.

Willow: That's Angel.

Xander: He's Buffy's beau. (sarcastically) Her special friend.

Ford: He's not in school, right? He looks older than her.

Xander: You're not wrong.

Cut to the bar.

Buffy: So. What'd you do last night?

Angel: Nothin'.

Buffy: Nothing at all. You ceased to exist?

Angel: No, I mean I stayed in, read.

Buffy: Oh.

She goes back to the pool table without another word. Angel stands there confused for a moment, then follows her.

Ford: Didn't want that soda after all?

Buffy: Not thirsty.

Willow: Hey, Angel.

Ford: Hi.

Buffy: (turns to Angel) This is Ford. We went to school together in L.A.

Angel: Nice to meet you. (shakes Ford's hand)

Ford: Whoa! Cold hands!

Xander: You're not wrong.

Buffy gives Xander a look.

Angel: So, you're here visiting Buffy?

Ford: No, I'm actually here to stay. Just moved down.

Willow: Hey, Angel? Do you wanna play?

Buffy: Y'know, it's getting really crowded in here tonight. Um... I'm a little hot. (to Ford) You wanna take a walk?

Ford: Um, sure! That'd be nice.

Buffy: Okay, then, um... (to the others) I'll see ya tomorrow. (leads Ford out past Angel)

Angel: Good night.

Ford: Take care.

Xander: Okay, once more with tension.

Angel: He just moved here?

Xander: Yeah. And, boy, does he move fast.

Willow: Well, Angel, we could still play.

She moves the rack into position, and when she looks back up Angel is gone.

Willow: See, you made him do that thing where he's gone.

Xander dismisses her comment and gets ready to break.

Cut outside to the alley. Buffy and Ford stroll slowly along.

Ford: So, that was your boyfriend?

Buffy: No. Uh, yeah. Maybe. Could we lay off the tough questions for a while?

Ford: Sorry. So! What else do you do for fun around here?

She hears noises coming from around the corner and suspects a vampire.

Buffy: Um, my purse. I-I, I left my purse at the Bronze. Uh, could you get it for me?

Ford: Uh, okay. (heads back)

Buffy: Good. Run! Thanks!

He starts to jog. A second later she starts running in the opposite direction and around the corner. Ford looks back and stops when he sees she's gone. He can hear a woman crying. He starts to walk back. When he's almost there a woman comes running around the corner and past him. He continues on, and is startled by a metal trashcan flying in front of him and into a stack of crates. He can hear punching and grunting. He sees someone hit the pavement face first. He peeks around the corner and sees a vampire get up and take a swing at Buffy. She ducks the punch and kicks the vampire in the face. The vampire swings again, and Buffy grabs his fist and holds on while she punches him in the face. Ford watches as she pulls out a stake and thrusts it into the vampire's chest. He staggers back into the wall and explodes into ashes.

Ford: What's goin' on?

Buffy is surprised and spins around to face him.

Buffy: Um... uh, there was a, a cat. A cat here, and, um, then there was a-another cat... and they fought. The cats. And... then they left.

Ford: Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire.

Buffy: What? Whating a what?

Ford: I know, Buffy. You don't have to lie. I-I've been trying to figure out the right time to, to tell you. I know you're the Slayer.

Buffy is taken aback.

Cut to later in Willow's room. She's on the phone with Buffy.

Willow: Just like that he told you?

Buffy: Just like that. (cut to her room) Said he found out right before I got booted from Hemery.

Willow: Wow! (cut to her) It's neat! Is it neat?

Buffy: (cut to her) Yeah, I guess it is. I don't have to constantly worry that he's gonna find out my dark secret. It just makes everything easier.

Cut to an alley. Ford is heading for the Sunset Club. He knocks on a heavy metal door, and the viewport opens. It closes and the door opens to let him in. Cut inside. A welder is cutting the knob off of the inside door. Ford goes down the stairs to the main area. Dark gothic music sets the mood, and everyone is dressed in black and pale makeup. "Never Land", by The Sisters of Mercy, is playing.

Lyrics: I had a face on the mirror / I had a hand on the gun

Diego meets him at the base of the stairs.

Diego: Ford? Hi, Ford?

Ford: Hey!

Diego: Well, how'd it go?

Ford: It went good.

Diego: Good? That's, that's it? That's all we know? Well, when are we...

Ford: (interrupts) Soon.

Diego: Oh, soon, okay. Y'know, you could gimme a little more information here. I'm trusting you. I'm out on a limb here. Not to mention the lease is almost up on this place. Who's gonna cover that?

Ford: Marvin...

Diego: Diego! C'mon, man, it's Diego now.

Ford: Diego. (takes out a pill) Ritalin. Everything's gonna be fine.

He pops the pill as Chantarelle comes over and hands him a drink.

Ford: Just make sure you're ready when I say. True believers only.

Chantarelle: (smiles) I can't wait!

Diego: Right, whatever, I still think I should be in on the plan.

Ford: Diego, you gotta trust me.

He sees a scene from a Jack Palance vampire movie playing on the TV.

TV: Alright.

Ford: A couple more days and we'll get to do the two things every American teen should have the chance to do: die young, and stay pretty.

He looks spaced out as he mouths the words of Jack Palance in the movie.

Jack: So... You play your wits against mine. Me, who commanded armies hundreds of years before you were born. Fools!

Part 2

Willow's room. It's neat and clean and everything is in place just so, except for some clothes on her bed. She's in her nightshirt brushing her hair. There is a knocking on her balcony door, which catches her off guard. She drops her brush on the bed, goes to the door and pushes the blinds apart to see who it is.

Willow: Oh! (opens the door) Angel! What are you doing here?

Angel: I wanted to talk to you.

Willow: (looks around) Oh, well...

She gestures for him to come in, but he just stays standing there.

Willow: Well?

Angel: I can't. Unless you invite me, I can't come in.

Willow: Oh! (nervous) Well, okay, I invite you. To come in.

She turns around as he comes in, and a look of horror appears on her face when she sees her bra just lying there on her bed out in the open. She quickly rushes over, grabs it and stashes it.

Angel: I-if this is a bad time, I...

Willow: No! I just... I'm not supposed to have boys in my room.

Angel: I promise to behave myself.

Willow: (still nervous) Okay. Good.

Angel: I guess I need help.

Willow: Help? You mean like on homework? No, 'cause you're old and you already know stuff.

Angel: I want you to track someone down. On the 'Net. (eyes her laptop)

Willow: (smiles) Oh! Great! I'm so the 'Net girl. (goes to sit at her desk)

Angel: I just wanna find everything I can. Records, affiliates, I'm not even sure what I'm looking for yet.

Willow: (types) Good. What's the name?

Angel: Billy Fordham.

Willow: Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't wanna hear, (faces him) do you promise not to bite me?

Angel: Are you gonna tell me that I'm jealous?

Willow: Well, you do sometimes get that way.

Angel: You know, I never used to. (sits on her bed) Things used to be pretty simple. (Willow types) A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin' guilty... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. (Willow faces him again) Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.

Willow: (nods) Okay. (turns back to the laptop) But if there isn't anything weird... Hey, that's weird.

Angel: What?

Willow: I just checked the school records, and he's not in them. (Angel stands up) I mean, usually they transfer your grades and stuff, but he's not even registered.

Angel: He said he was in school with you guys, right?

Willow: Let me just see if I can...

Mrs. Rosenberg: (off camera) Willow? Are you still up?

Willow: (gets up) (to Angel) Ack! Go! (to her mom) Iiiiiii'm just going to bed now, mom!

Angel goes back out onto the balcony. Willow holds the door.

Willow: Come by tomorrow at sunset. I'll keep looking.

Angel: Don't tell Buffy what we're doing, alright?

Willow: You want me to lie to her? It's Buffy!

Angel: Just don't bring it up until we know what's what.

Willow: Okay. I-it's probably nothing.

Angel: That'd be nice.

She closes the door and frets a bit, nervous about what she has to do.

Cut to the school the next day. Cut inside to a hall near a drinking fountain. Buffy and Ford come into the hall from outside. Willow wants to get a drink.

Buffy: Willow!

Willow doesn't even press the button on the fountain before immediately turning around, hoping to get away. She realizes she'd never be able to get away with it, and so turns to face them. She fidgets nervously with her hands.

Buffy: What's up?

Willow: Nothing.

Buffy: Do you wanna hang? We're cafeteria-bound.

Willow: (jumpy) I-I-I'm gonna do work in the computer lab on school work that I have, so I cannot hang just now. Hi, Ford.

Ford: Morning.

Buffy: Okay, Will, fess up.

Willow: What?

Buffy: Are you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this.

Willow is surprised and happy that an explanation for her nervousness has presented itself, and laughs out loud.

Willow: It makes me jumpy. I have to go. Away. (hurries off)

Buffy is taken aback.

Ford: Nice girl!

Buffy: There aren't two of those in the world.

Giles meets them in he hall.

Giles: Buffy! Um... Yes, uh... (sets down his briefcase and searches his pockets) Ms. Calendar and I are going... somewhere tonight, and she's given, (finds the slip of paper) oh, given me the number of her beeper thingy, uh, in case you need me for, um... (eyes Ford) study help, uh, suddenly. (picks up his briefcase)

Buffy: He knows, Giles.

Giles: What?

Buffy: Ford (indicates him) knows I'm the Slayer.

Ford: I know.

Giles: Oh! Uh, very good, yes. Uh, um, Buffy... (leads Buffy aside) (to Ford) Excuse me. (aside to Buffy) You are not, by any chance, betraying your secret identity just to impress, um, cute boys, are you?

Buffy: (smiles) I didn't tell him. He knew.

Giles: Oh! Uh, right then. Well, uh, just remember, if you...

Buffy: Go! Experience this thing called fun. I'll try not to have a crisis.

Giles accepts that and heads back to his library.

Cut outside the school at night. Buffy and Ford are strolling along.

Buffy: And on your right, once again, the beautiful campus. I think you've now seen everything there is to see in Sunnydale.

Ford: Well, it's... really...

Buffy: Feel free to say dull.

Ford: Okay. Dull's good. (sees two vampires running) Or maybe not so dull. (Buffy sees them, too) Is that more vampires?

Buffy: Must be the weather.

She pulls out a stake and a cross, and hands the cross to Ford. He takes it and reaches into his back pocket to pull out a stake of his own. He smiles and waves it about.

Buffy: Stay close to me.

She hops up the steps the vampires just ran up and cautiously looks around. Ford is close behind, cross and stake held ready. She looks around a corner and sees nothing.

Ford: Maybe they were just passing through.

Buffy: (turns around) I don't think so.

A blonde female vampire grabs her from behind and tries to bite. Ford takes a startled step back. Buffy does a high kick into her face, then grabs her by the arm and flips her over onto her back. A male vampire rushes her and grabs her, pulling her over a railing with him. She lands in a crouch on the grass below and gets up while the vampire rolls to his feet. She kicks him in the jaw, making him fall backward. Ford looks down at his stake and cross and then glances at the fight a moment before quickly approaching the other vampire and holding the cross in her face and the stake up and ready. She hisses at him.

Ford: You've got one chance to live. Tell me what I wanna know, and I'll let you go.

Below Buffy knocks the vampire out with a punch to the face and stakes him. She runs back up the stairs to Ford, who's crouched where the vampire was.

Buffy: Where's the other one?

Ford: I killed her. (coughs) I, I killed her and she just turned to dust. It was... amazing!

Buffy raises her eyebrows in surprise.

Cut to Xander, Willow and Angel walking down the alley to the Sunset Club.

Willow: The only thing I could track down was this address. The Sunset Club. Still didn't find anything incriminating.

Angel: He leaves no paper trail, no records, that's incriminating enough.

Xander: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one.

Angel: Could you not call me that?

He knocks on the door. The viewport opens and the doorman looks out.

Angel: We're friends of Ford's.

The doorman nods. Cut inside. They walk in through the inside door and look around. It's gloomy in the extreme.

Willow: (wearing a colorfully striped shirt) Boy, we blend right in.

Xander: In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs.

Angel: Let's look around. You guys check out downstairs.

Xander: Sure thing, Bossy the cow! (they start down)

Willow: Okay, but do they really stick out?

Xander: What?

Willow: Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'Wow! That baby is sore!'

Xander: You have too many thoughts.

Willow is a bit hurt by that. Angel looks down from the balcony and continues around. "Reptile", by Creaming Jesus, is playing.

Lyrics: The one hungry life / My life with the other

Willow and Xander walk by a man standing in a coffin dressed as a movie vampire.

Man: (waves) Hi!

Xander waves back and looks around more.

Xander: Are you probably noticing a theme here?

Willow: As in 'Vampires! Yay!'?

Xander: That's the one.

Chantarelle gets up and comes up behind them.

Chantarelle: You guys are newbies. I can tell.

Willow: (turns to face her) Oh, no. We come here all the time.

Chantarelle: Don't be ashamed! It's cool that you're open to it. We welcome anyone who's interested in the Lonely Ones.

Angel comes down the stairs behind them.

Willow: The Lonely Ones?

Angel: Vampires.

Xander: Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones.

Chantarelle: So many people have that misconception. But they who walk with the night are not interested in harming anyone. They are creatures above us. Exalted!

Angel: You're a fool.

Xander gives him a look.

Chantarelle: You don't have to be so confrontational about it. Other viewpoints than yours may be valid, you know. (goes away)

Willow: Nice meeting you.

They turn to Angel.

Xander: You really are a people person.

Willow: Now nobody's gonna talk to us.

Angel: I've seen enough. I've seen this type before. I mean, they're children making up bedtime stories of friendly vampires to comfort themselves in the dark.

Willow: Is that so bad? I mean, the dark can get pretty dark. Sometimes you need a story.

Angel: These people don't know anything about vampires. What they are, how they live, how they dress...

A young man dressed exactly like Angel comes down the stairs behind him and looks him up and down before continuing on. Angel clears his throat. They start up the stairs to get out of the club.

Xander: You know, I love a good diatribe. But I'm still curious why Ford, the bestest friend of the Slayer, is hanging with a bunch of vampire wannabes.

Willow: Something's up with him, you're right about that.

Diego overheard them and watches them go. The girl talking to him is confused about his reaction.

Girl: Are you okay?

Cut to the library. Buffy comes in followed by Jenny and Giles.

Buffy: Sorry to beep you guys in the middle of... stuff, but it seemed really weird.

Giles: No, you did the right thing. Absolutely.

Jenny: (stops in her tracks) You hated it that much?

Giles: No! But, but, uh, vampires on campus is, could have implications. Very, very grave...

Jenny: You coulda just said something.

Giles: Uh, honestly, I, I've always, I've always been interested in, in, uh, monster trucks.

Buffy: You took him to monster trucks?

Jenny: I thought it would be a change!

Giles: It was a change.

Jenny: Look, we could've just left.

Giles: Wha-what, and miss the nitro-burning funny cars? No, couldn't have that.

Buffy: Okay, can we get back on the vampire tip here? These guys were here with a purpose.

Giles: Yes, yes, and, uh, we must, uh, ascertain what that purpose is.

Jenny: Where's your friend?

Buffy: I sent him home.

Giles: (sits at the table) Oh, uh, good. Yes, the less he's involved in all this, the safer he'll be.

Buffy: He did bag a vamp his first time out.

Giles takes an open book from on top of another and exposes an old picture of Drusilla.

Buffy: Gotta give him credit for... (notices the picture) that.

Jenny: Something wrong?

Buffy: (picks up the picture) Who's this?

GILES: Erm, she's called Darla. Ever since Spike came to town, I've been researching him and Drusilla. She was closely linked with them through the last century and a half. She was killed by an angry mob in Prague.  
BUFFY: Well they don't make angry mobs like they used to, 'cause this girls alive. She was the blonde in the alley with Spike. Remember the 'new big and bad'…And then last night, I saw her with Angel. 

Giles: (taken aback) With Angel?

Jenny: Isn't he supposed to be a good guy?

Buffy: (puts the picture back down) Yeah. He is.

Jenny: I think maybe we need to read up on this nice lady.

Giles: (gets up and heads for his office) Well, some of my new volumes may be more helpful. Uh, my own research is...

The blonde vampire runs into him as she runs from his office. Jenny draws a startled breath. Buffy comes to Giles' aid, but is knocked to the floor underneath him when the vampire gives him a hard shove. She jumps up onto the table and leaps over the mezzanine railing, making her escape through the stacks. Jenny helps Giles and Buffy up.

Jenny: Are you guys okay?

Giles: A book! It took one of my books!

Jenny: Well, at least someone in this school is reading.

Buffy: He said he killed it. That's the vampire Ford said he killed.

Cut to Spike's warehouse. Drusilla is talking to her bird as the camera pans around the cage.

Drusilla: You sing the sweetest little song. Won't you sing for me, hmm? Don't you love me anymore?

The bird is lying dead at the bottom of the cage. Spike comes into the room behind Drusilla.

Spike: Darling! I heard a funny thing just now. Lucius tells me that you went out on a hunt the other night.

Drusilla: My tummy was growly. And you were out...I went with grandmummy. (to the bird) Come on. (whistles) I'll pout if you don't sing.

SPIKE: Did you have fun, pet?  
DRUSILLA: I met a nice man. He tasted sweet…like honey. Mummy always put honey in her tea.  
SPIKE: Good for you, ducks. (turns to leave) I'm gonna go see Darla. See if we got the book ok.  
DRUSILLA: Grandmummy's in a mood. She didn't have much fun tonight.  
SPIKE: Why is that?  
DRUSILLA: She ran into Daddy. 

SPIKE: Angel? Isn't that an interesting turn. What might those two have talked about?  
DRUSILLA: (talking to the dead bird in it's cage) Sing for mummy. I'll pout if you don't sing.  
SPIKE: It's a little off, those two being so friendly, him being the enemy and all that.  
DARLA: (coming up behind them) Well I couldn't exactly kill him. I still have big plans for my boy. 

SPIKE: You aren't gonna be able to turn him. You need to let it go.  
DRUSILLA: She can't. She misses Daddy. She's lonely without him.  
DARLA: What did I tell you about reading me, Dru? (off Dru's whimpering) Magic did it to him, magic can bring him back. He's still there. I could feel him, brewing under the surface.

Ford: This is so cool!

Spike, Darla, and Drusilla look up to see him standing among some crates.

Ford: I would totally live here.

DARLA: (loudly) Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? (walks toward Ford)

SPIKE: Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?

Ford: I know who you all are.

Spike: Yeah, we know who we are, too. So what?

Ford: I came looking for you, Spike. You are Spike, right? William the Bloody?

DARLA: I told you "William the Bloody" would haunt you for eternity. And when you finally listen to me, you choose Spike? You sound like a dog not the Scourge of China.

Spike: (Ignoring her) You've got a real death wish, boy. It's almost interesting.

The blonde vampire comes in, walks up to Spike and hands Darla the book she stole. She begins to leaf through it.

DARLA: Oh, this is perfect! (to Ford) So, how did you find us?

Ford: That doesn't matter. I've got something to offer you. I-I'm pretty sure this is the part where you take out a watch and say I've got thirty seconds to convince you not to kill me? (smiles) It's traditional.

Spike: Well, (slams the book and strides to Ford, Darla still leafing through the book, not interested) I don't go much for tradition.

He grabs Ford by the ear and lifts him.

Drusilla: Wait, love.

Ford is in obvious pain, but doesn't scream. Drusilla puts her hand on Spikes's shoulder, and he lets go.

DARLA: Well?

Ford: Oh, c'mon! Say it! It's no fun if you don't say it.

Spike: What? Oh. (rolls his eyes and bobs his head) You've got thirty seconds to convince me not to kill you.

Ford: Yes! See, this is the best! I wanna be like you. A vampire.

Spike: I've known you for two minutes, and I can't stand you. I don't really feature you livin' forever. (to Drusilla and Darla) Can I eat him now?

Darla shrugs, but Drusilla shakes her head.

Ford: Well, feature this: I'm offering you a trade. (All their heads turn to Ford) You make me a vampire, and I give you the Slayer.

Ford has their undivided attention. Spike and Darla smile.

Part 3

The kitchen at the Summers house. Buffy is nursing a cup of coffee. Angel slowly pushes the door open.

Angel: Buffy. May I come in?

Buffy: (looks up) Sure. I thought once you were invited you could always just walk in.

Angel: I can. I was just being polite. (closes the door) We need to talk.

Buffy: Do we? (picks up her coffee and heads into the dining room)

Angel: It's about your friend Ford. He's not what he seems.

Buffy: Who is these days?

Angel: Willow ran him down on the computer.

Buffy: Willow?

Angel: We found this address, we checked it out with Xander, and it turned out...

Buffy: (disbelieving) And Xander? Wow. Everybody's in. It's like a great big exciting conspiracy.

Angel: What are you talking about?

Buffy: I'm talking about the people I trust. Who's Darla?

Angel lowers his eyes, seeing he's been caught in a lie.

Buffy: And don't lie to me. I'm tired of it.

Angel: Some lies are necessary.

Buffy: For what?

Angel: Sometimes the truth is worse. You live long enough, you find that out.

Buffy: I can take it. I can take the truth.

Angel: Do you love me?

Buffy: What?

Angel: Do you?

She takes a moment to consider her answer.

Buffy: I love you. I don't know if I trust you.

Angel: Maybe you shouldn't do either. (turns away)

Buffy: Maybe I'm the one who should decide!

ANGEL: (stopping, not looking at her) Before I became a vampire, I was a man. Life was pretty good, minus a few petty draw backs that may or may not have worked themselves out. Darla turned me into what I am. She's my sire.

BUFFY: That's not too bad. I mean she turned you, left, and you see her for the first time the other night, right?  
ANGEL: Not exactly... After she turned me, we stayed together for awhile. We did a lot of terrible things together. We were the Scourge of Europe, basically.  
BUFFY: How long?  
ANGEL: A hundred fifty years. Give or take.  
BUFFY: (stunned) A hundred and fifty years?  
ANGEL: I told you before, vampires are pretty monogamous.  
BUFFY: Pretty monogamous! That's two lifetimes of monogamy!  
A brief moment of silence

Buffy: Well. I asked for the truth.

Angel: Ford's part of some society that reveres vampires. Practically worships them. I don't know what he wants from you, but you can't trust him.

Fade to black. Cut to school the next day. Buffy walks up some stairs to the quad. Ford meets her there. The camera circles them as they talk.

Ford: Buffy!

Buffy: Ford.

Ford: I had a great time last night. Well, an interesting time.

Buffy: (arms crossed) I'm glad.

Ford: Do you wanna go out again tonight?

Buffy: Not busy.

Ford: I sort of had an idea. It's a... It's a secret. Kinda wanna surprise you.

Buffy: I like surprises.

Ford: Can you meet me here?

Buffy: Sure.

Ford: At nine?

Buffy: At nine.

Ford: (smiles) It's gonna be fun! (walks off)

Buffy just stands there for a moment before uncrossing her arms and continuing on her way.

Cut to later at the stairs in the hall. Xander and Willow are sitting on the steps. Buffy comes down behind them.

Willow: (gets up) Buffy!

Buffy doesn't really want to face her, but does.

Willow: Did, uh, Angel...

Buffy: He told me everything.

Willow: I'm sorry we kept stuff from you.

Buffy: It's okay. (smiles weakly)

Willow: When Angel came to my room he was just really concerned for you, and we didn't wanna say anything in case we were wrong.

Xander: Did you find out what Ford is up to?

Buffy: I will. (walks off)

Willow and Xander sadly watch her go. After a moment something clicks in Xander's head.

Xander: Angel was in your bedroom?

Willow: (nods) Ours is a forbidden love.

Cut to the Sunset Club. Chantarelle is sitting and drumming her fingers. Diego paces nervously. The camera pans up to Ford coming down the stairs.

Ford: (ignoring Diego) Chantarelle. Is everything ready?

Diego: Of course. It's ready. (trying to get Ford's attention) Hi, I took care of it. I always take care of it.

Chantarelle: Is it time? Tonight?

Ford: You nervous? (pours goblets of wine)

Chantarelle: Yes. No. I'm ready for the change. Do you really think they'll bless us?

Ford: (takes a goblet and hands her the other) I know they will.

He smiles at Chantarelle. She smiles back.

Ford: Everything's falling into place. (takes a sip of wine)

Diego: What about your friends? Are they comin'?

Ford: What are you talking about?

Diego: Your friends. They came. Last night. Two guys and a girl.

Chantarelle: One was mean.

Ford: Oh, Christ! Why didn't you tell me about this?

Diego: I have to do everything around here. Sorry, Mr. Flawless Plan Guy, it slipped my mind.

Chantarelle: It's gonna be alright, isn't it?

Ford winces in pain and puts his fingertips to his forehead.

Chantarelle: They're not gonna let us down?

Ford: (the pain passes) It's gonna be fine.

Chantarelle: I need them to bless me.

Ford: It's gonna be fine!

Buffy: No.

They all look at her at the top of the stairs.

Buffy: It's really not.

Ford: (to Diego) It's kinda drafty in here.

Buffy: (starts down the stairs) I'm sorry, Ford. I just couldn't wait till tonight! I'm rash and impulsive. It's a flaw.

Ford: We all have flaws.

Buffy: I'm still a little fuzzy on exactly what yours is. I think it has to do with being a lying scumbag. (reaches him)

Ford: Everybody lies.

Buffy: What do you want, Ford? What's this all about?

Ford: I really don't think you'd understand.

Buffy: I don't need to understand. I just need to know.

Ford: I'm gonna be one of them.

Buffy: You wanna be a vampire?

Ford: I'm going to.

Buffy: You know, vampires are a little picky about who they change ov... (figures it out) You were gonna offer them a trade!

Ford: I don't think I wanna talk anymore.

She grabs him by the throat and shoves him up against a pillar.

Buffy: Yeah, well, I still feel awfully chatty! You were gonna give them me! Tonight!

Ford: (nods) Yes.

Buffy: You had to know I'd figure it out.

Ford: Actually, I was counting on it. (smiles)

She lets go of his throat and backs away. He coughs a bit and then laughs.

Buffy: What's supposed to happen tonight?

Ford: This is so cool! It's just like it played in my head. You know that part where you ask me what's supposed to happen? (snickers) It's already happening.

Diego swings the inner door shut with a loud clang. She runs back up the stairs and pounds on the door.

Ford: Rigged up special. Once it's closed, it can only be opened from the outside. As soon as the sun sets, they'll be comin'.

Buffy: Ford, if these people are still around when they get here...

Diego: (interrupts) We'll be changed. All of us.

Chantarelle: We're going to ascend to a new level of consciousness! Become like them. Like the Lonely Ones.

Ford: This is the end, Buffy. No one gets outta here alive.

Part 4

The Sunset Club. Buffy hurries back down the stairs.

Buffy: There's gotta be another way out of here! (looks around)

Ford: This is a bomb shelter, Buffy. I knew I wasn't gonna be able to overpower you. But this is three feet of solid concrete. Trust me when I say we're in for the long haul.

Buffy: At least let the other people go.

Chantarelle: Why are you fighting this? It's what we want!

Diego: It's our chance for immortality.

Chantarelle: This is a beautiful day. Can't you see that?

Buffy: What I see is that, right after the sun goes down, Spike and all of his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar.

Diego: Okay, that's it. I think we should gag her.

Buffy: I think you should try.

Diego: She's an unbeliever. She taints us.

Buffy: I am trying to save you! You are playing in some serious traffic here! Do you understand that? You're going to die! And the only hope you have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now, and, my God, could you have a dorkier outfit?

Diego is offended. Chantarelle smiles.

Ford: I gotta back her up, D. You look like a big ninny. (his alarm goes off) 6:27. Sunset.

They all walk away from her. She looks around for what to do next.

Cut to the warehouse. The gang comes marching out with troops.

DARA: When we get there, everybody spread out. Two men on the door, top priority's the Slayer.

SPIKE: Everything else is fair game, and let's remember to share, people. (meets Drusilla ) Are you sure you're up for this?

Drusilla: I want a treat. I need a treat.

Spike: And a special one you'll have. Lucius! (hold up his keys) Bring the car around.

Cut to the Sunset Club. Buffy runs back up the stairs to the door. Ford follows her.

Ford: Hey, you never give up, do you?

Buffy: No, I don't.

Ford: That's a good quality in a person. Too many people, they just lay back and take it, but us...

Buffy: Us? We have something in common now?

Ford: More than you think.

Buffy: Yeah, well, let me explain something to you. You're what we call the bad guy.

Ford: I guess I am! (chuckles)

Buffy: (looks down at the people) These people aren't gonna get changed, are they? The rest of them, they're just fodder.

Ford: Technically, yes. But I'm in. I will become immortal.

Buffy: Well, I've got a news flash for you, braintrust: that's not how it works. You die, and a demon sets up shop in your old house, and it walks, and it talks, and it remembers your life, but it's not you.

Ford: It's better than nothing.

Buffy: And your life is nothing?

Ford snickers.

Buffy: Ford, these people don't deserve to die!

Ford: Well, neither do I! But apparently no one took that into consideration, 'cause I'm still dying.

Buffy begins to realize what he's up to now.

Ford: I look good, don't I? Well, let me tell you something: (angry) I've got maybe six months left, and by then what they bury won't even look like me. It'll be bald and shriveled and it'll smell bad. No, I'm not going out that way.

Buffy turns away.

Ford: I'm sorry, Summers. Did I screw up your righteous anger riff? Does the nest of tumors liquefying my brain kinda spoil the fun?

Buffy: (faces him) I'm sorry. I had no idea. But what you're doing is still very wrong.

Ford: Okay, well, you try vomiting for twenty-four hours straight because the pain in your head is so intense, and then we'll discuss the concept of right and wrong. (points down) These people are sheep. They wanna be vampires 'cause they're lonely, miserable or bored. I don't have a choice.

Buffy: You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice! You're opting for mass murder here, and nothing you say is gonna make that okay!

Ford: You think I need to justify myself to you?

Buffy: I think this is all part of your little fantasy drama! Isn't this exactly how you imagined it? You tell me how you've suffered and I feel sorry for you. Well, I do feel sorry for you, and if those vampires come in here and start feeding, I'll kill you myself!

Ford: You know what, Summers? I really did miss you.

Buffy can only look at him. Outside a car comes screeching to a halt.

Buffy: Ford, help me stop this. (silence) Please!

Ford remains silent. Buffy runs around to the stairs again.

Buffy: People, listen to me! (Ford comes after her) This is not the mothership, people! This is ugly death come to play!

Ford backhand punches her across the face, and she goes tumbling to the bottom of the steps. He comes down after her and punches her in the back as she tries to get up, sending her to the floor again. They hear the outside door open and look up. Chantarelle starts up the stairs to meet them. Ford checks to see that Buffy is still out cold on the floor. Chantarelle reaches the top of the steps as the inner door opens. Darla and Spike walk up to her in their game faces and smile. Spike roars at her and she flinches a bit but doesn't back down. He tears the choker off of her neck. She starts to cry in fear.

DARLA: Take them all. Save the Slayer for me.

The vampires run and jump down the stairs to the people below and begin feeding. Spike grabs Chantarelle by the neck and bites her violently. Buffy wakes and gets up, and Ford tries to hit her with a crowbar. She grabs his arm in mid-swing and pulls him around, making him hit his head on a concrete pillar. He falls unconscious to the floor. She looks at the mayhem going on around her and spots Drusilla standing by herself on the balcony. She takes a running leap off of a couch up to the balcony railing, quickly climbs over, grabs Drusilla from behind and holds a stake to her chest.

Buffy: Spike!

Spike stops feeding on Chantarelle and looks over at them. Drusilla stares at the stake poised in front of her.

Spike: Everybody STOP!

DARLA: Kill her, Slayer. I really don't care for the maniac either way.  
SPIKE: She's the only key we have to the future. You don't want to rid yourself of that over a few losers who taste like corn syrup and red dye, do you?

DARLA: Fine, damnit! Everybody stop!...(They all stop feeding.)

(looks to Buffy) I guess we'll have to save this fight for later, slayer. Give Angel my best.

Buffy: Good idea. Now you let everyone out, or Spikey's girlfriend fits in an ashtray.

Drusilla: (frightened) Spike?

Spike: It's gonna be alright, baby. Let them go!

They all let go of their victims, and the people hurry up the stairs and out.

Buffy: Down the stairs.

Spike and a highly unpleased Darla slowly backs down the stairs. Buffy forces Drusilla ahead of her, still holding the stake ready. When Buffy reaches the top of the stairs she stares at Spike for a moment. She looks at Drusilla and shoves her down the stairs at Spike. He catches and steadies her as Buffy turns and rushes out the door. He starts to give chase as Buffy swings the door shut behind her. Spike slams up against it. He looks for the way to open it.

Spike: Uh, where's the doorknob?

DARLA: UGH!

Cut to the alley. Buffy walks out of the building and sees the people help and support each other. Angel walks up to her and Willow and Xander are close behind.

Buffy: You guys are just in time.

Willow: Are there vampires?

Buffy: They're contained. They'll get out eventually, though. We should probably go. We can come back when they're gone.

Xander: Come back for what?

Buffy: (looks back at the entrance) For the body.

Cut inside the club. The vampires are banging on the doors. Ford wakes and gets up, holding his head. Spike is comforting Drusilla.

Ford: What happened?

DARLA: We're stuck in a basement.

Ford: Buffy?

Spike: (comes down to him) She's not stuck in the basement.

Ford: Hey, well, I delivered. I handed her to you.

Spike: Yes, I suppose you did.

Ford: So? What about my reward?

Spike and Ford just stare at each other.

Dissolve to the next day. Buffy comes back in and finds the door broken and twisted. She looks down below and sees Ford lying there. She descends the stairs and touches his dead body.

Dissolve to the cemetery. Buffy has tears in her eyes as she lays a bouquet of red roses on Ford's grave. She stands up again and walks back to Giles.

Buffy: I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

Giles: You needn't say anything.

Buffy: It'd be simpler if I could just hate him. I think he wanted me to. I think it made it easier for him to be the villain of the piece. Really he was just scared.

Giles: Yes, I suppose he was.

Buffy: Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It's just, like, the more I know, the more confused I get.

Giles: I believe that's called growing up.

Buffy: I'd like to stop then, okay?

Giles: I know the feeling.

Buffy: Does it ever get easy?

Ford suddenly rises from his grave, a vampire just like he wanted, and attacks Buffy. She plunges a stake into his heart with no more effort than swatting a fly. He steps back and looks at the stake protruding from his chest. He looks back up and bursts into ashes.

Giles: You mean life?

Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?

Giles: What do you want me to say?

Buffy: (looks up at him) Lie to me.

Giles: (considers a moment) Yes, it's terribly simple.

They start walking out of the cemetery.

Giles: The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

Buffy: Liar. 


	4. What's My Line Part One

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.  
Sunnydale High School. The career fair is going on in the lounge. Willow comes into the hall from outside and looks around at some of the displays being set up on her way to sign up for the career aptitude test. Buffy and Xander are already sitting at a table filling out their tests.  
Xander: (reads) 'Are you a people person, or do you prefer keeping your own company?' Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default?  
Willow heads for their table with a test to join them.  
Buffy: So, mark 'none of the above.  
Xander: Well, there are no boxes for 'none of the above'. That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head, number-crunching little world.  
Willow: (sits) I'm sensing bitterness.  
Xander: No, it's just these people can't tell from one multiple-choice test what we're gonna be doing for the rest of our lives. It's ridiculous!  
Willow: (smiles) I'm kinda curious to find out what sort of career I could have.  
Xander: What, and suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark.  
Willow: You're not gonna be young forever.  
Xander: Yes, but I'll always be stupid. (smirks and looks at the girls) Okay, let's not all rush to disagree.  
Buffy: (looks up at him seriously) You're not stupid.  
Xander gives her an acknowledging sarcastic grin, then looks up when he hears Cordelia. She has a clipboard, and is taking her test as she walks into the lounge accompanied by two of her groupies.  
Cordelia: 'I aspire to help my fellow man.' (marks her test) Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty or something gross. (walks by the table)  
Xander: Cordelia Chase, always ready to give a helping hand to the rich and the pretty.  
Cordelia: Which, lucky me, excludes you. Twice.  
Xander has no comeback, so Cordelia just walks away followed closely by her cronies.  
Xander: Is murder always a crime?  
Buffy: Do I like shrubs?  
Xander: That's between you and your god.  
Buffy: (to Willow) What'd you put?  
Willow: I came down on the side of shrubs.  
Buffy: Go with shrubs! Okay! (frustrated) Uhhh! I shouldn't even be bothering with this. It's all mootville for me. No matter what my aptitude test says, we already know my deal.  
Xander: Yup, high risk, sub-minimum wage.  
Buffy: Pointy wooden things.  
Willow: Then why are you even taking the test?  
Buffy: It's Principal Snyder's hoop of the week. He's not happy unless I'm jumping. Believe me, I would not be here otherwise.  
Willow: You're not even a teensy weensy bit curious about what kinda career you could've had? I mean, if you weren't already the Slayer and all.  
Buffy: Do the words 'sealed in fate' ring any bells for you, Will? Why go there?  
Willow is hurt by that comment.  
Xander: Y'know, with that kind of attitude you could've had a bright future as an employee at the DMV. (shakes his pencil at her)  
Buffy: I'm sorry, it's just... unless Hell freezes over and every vamp in Sunnydale puts in for early retirement, I'd say my future is pretty much a non-issue.  
Cut to Spike's warehouse. Drusilla is standing at one end of a large table dealing her tarot cards. At the other end Spike is looking on as Dalton tries to translate the ancient text in the book that they stole from the library. Darla is standing nearby, looking casually over Dalton's shoulder with her arms crossed.  
Spike: Read it again.  
Dalton: Well, I'm not sure. It could be, uh... (shrugs with his hands) deprimere... ille... bubula... linter.  
Spike: (paging through a dictionary) Debase, the beef, canoe.  
Dalton looks up at Spike and smiles a stupid smile. Darla laughs at his stupidity. Spike cannot abide him and punches him in the face.  
Spike: Why does that strike me as not right?  
Dalton looks at him sheepishly and turns his attention back to the book.  
Darla: And it wouldn't be Hungarian or Ancient Romanian, the language of the Gypsies?  
Dalton: No, it's Latin…I think.  
Drusilla: Spike, come dance? (holds out her hand)  
Spike: (angry) Give us some peace, would you? Can't you see we're working?

Drusilla pulls back her hand and begins to pout and whine like a puppy.  
Spike: Oh, I'm sorry, kitten. (goes to her) It's just this manuscript. Supposed to hold your cure, but it reads like gibberish. E-even Dalton here, the big brain, he can't make heads or tails of it.  
Drusilla puts her hand to her head and Darla rolls her eyes at her dramatics.  
Darla: Spike, we really need to focus on this right now. (with a wave of her hand) Send her to bed or something.  
Drusilla: I... I, I need to change Miss Edith.  
She takes a few steps and then puts her other hand to her head as well, bends over and whines. Spike rushes to her, puts his arms around her and pulls her back up.  
Spike: Oh, forgive me! You know I can't stand to see you like this. (sits her down and cr ouches) We're runnin' out of time. It's that bloody Slayer! Whenever we turn around she's muckin' up the works.  
Drusilla: (tries to comfort him back) Shh. Shh. You'll make it right. I know.  
Spike puts his hands around her neck and kisses her gently but firmly. After they release their kiss he stands up again and turns his attention back to Dalton and Darla. Drusilla reaches for the next tarot card.  
Spike: Well. (walks around the table) Come on, now. Enlighten me.  
Dalton: Uh, well, it looks like Latin, but it's not. I-I'm not even sure it's, it's a language, actually, I.  
Spike: Then MAKE IT A LANGUAGE! Isn't that what a transcriber does!  
Dalton: Well, not exactly...

He yelps as Spike grabs him by the shirt and lifts him from his chair.  
Darla: (Feigning sweetness) We want the cure, Dalton.  
Dalton: I'll find it, I'll find it!

Spike: I'm doubting your abilities at this point, good buddy. (goes to punch him again)  
Drusilla: Don't.  
Spike: Why not? Some people find pain (punches Dalton in the stomach) very inspirational.  
Dalton doubles over.

Darla: Stop, Spike. You kill him; we'll never get the cure.  
Spike: I didn't know you cared so much, Darla. I thought you would get your lollies out of seeing Dru so sick, considering I had to beg you to allow her to come with us.  
Darla: I don't care if Drusilla dies, but I need all the power on my side if we wanna take out the slayer and the housebroken, lap dog that used to be (bitterly) my boy.  
Drusilla: (looks up from her cards) He can't help you anyway. (looks back at her cards) Not without... (points at a card) the key.  
Spike: The key? You mean this book is in some kind of code?  
Drusilla: Yeah.  
Dalton nods weakly, still in pain. Spike shoves him back into his chair. He and Darla walk over to Drusilla. They look at one of her cards. A mausoleum is pictured on it.  
Darla: Is that where we'll find this key?  
Drusilla: Yeah!  
Spike: I'll send the boys, pronto!  
Drusilla: Now will you dance? (smiles)  
Spike: (smiles and takes her hand) I'll dance with you, pet.  
He pulls her up from her chair and lifts her into his arms.  
Spike: On the Slayer's grave!  
He starts to spin around with her in his arms. Darla walks to Dalton.  
Darla: I want that key now!  
Dalton scurries off.  
Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.  
Part 1 The cemetery. Buffy walks through it at a relaxed pace. She pauses for a moment, but continues on, scanning the graveyard around her as she goes. She stops again when she hears clinking noises coming from a mausoleum. She looks at it and sees light coming from inside. She walks over to it, pushes the door open a bit and peeks in. Dalton is chipping away at the wall, exposing a chamber behind it. He reaches in for something as Buffy pulls her head back out and closes the door. She walks down the steps and turns around to wait for him to come out. A few moments later Dalton opens the door and steps out.  
Buffy: Does 'rest in peace' have no sanctity to you people? Oh, I forgot. You're not a people.  
Another vampire comes up behind her. She senses him, turns around and kicks him in the gut, then the jaw, then again in the gut. He takes a swing at her, but she grabs his arm and punches him twice in the face. He swings at her with his other arm, but she ducks and catches it, too. She yanks it back, and it can be heard snapping. While she has him leaning back she thrusts a stake into his heart. He explodes into ashes.  
Buffy: One down, (turns and sees Dalton missing) one gone.  
She looks around, but sees no sign of him anywhere.  
Cut to Buffy's room. Angel is there, and he looks around while he waits for her to get home. Buffy climbs up to her window and looks in. She sees him looking into her bookcase. Angel takes her stuffed pig from the shelf. Without a word Buffy reaches for her bag and tosses it loudly through the window and onto the floor. Angel turns around, startled. He gently squeezes the pig.  
Angel: Buffy! You scared me.  
Buffy: (climbs in) Now you know what it feels like, Stealth Guy.  
She crouches down by her bag and reaches into her hair to pull out a few clips.  
Buffy: Just dropping by for some quality time with Mr. Gordo?  
Angel: (confused) Excuse me?  
Buffy: The pig. (opens her trunk and dumps the bag in)  
Angel: Oh. (chuckles) I, uh.  
Buffy: What's up? (walks to her desk)  
Angel: Nothing.  
He tosses the pig onto a chair and walks to the foot of her bed. She drops her hair clips into a desk drawer and faces him.  
Buffy: Only you don't have a nothing face. You have a something face. And you don't have to whisper. Mom's in L.A. till Thursday. Art buying, or something.  
Angel: Then why'd you come in through the window?  
Buffy: (crinkles her nose) Habit.  
Angel: I wanted to make sure you're okay. I had a bad feeling.  
Buffy: (exhales) There's a surprise. Angel comes with bad news.  
He exhales and turns away, tired of the same old reaction from her.  
Buffy: Oh, God, I'm sorry. (walks over to him) Look, I've been Cranky Miss all day. It's not you.  
Angel: Well, what is it then?  
Buffy: It's nothing.  
Angel isn't buying it.  
Buffy: (exhales) Uh, we're having this thing at school.  
Angel: Career week?  
Buffy: How did you know?  
Angel: I lurk.  
Buffy: Right. Well, then you know it's a whole week of 'what's my line', only... I don't get to play. (sits on her bed) Sometimes I just want.  
Angel: You want what? (sits next to her)  
Buffy looks into her long mirror. She's alone in the reflection.  
Angel: It's okay.  
Buffy: (looks up at Angel) The Cliff Notes version? I want a normal life. Like I had before.  
Angel: Before me.  
Buffy: No, Angel, (touches his hand) it's not you. (touches his cheek) You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. (lowers her hand) I just get messed sometimes. (Angel looks down) I wish we could be regular kids.  
Angel: (looks back up) Yeah. I'll never be a kid. (gets up)  
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle robbing, creature-of-  
the-night boyfriend.  
Angel can't help but let out a laugh. Buffy smiles back. He sees a picture on her desk and picks it up. It's of her as a child on ice-  
skates.  
Angel: Was this part of your normal life?  
Buffy: Oh, my God. (laughs and stands up) My Dorothy Hamill phase. My room in L.A. was pretty much a shrine. Dorothy dolls, Dorothy posters, I even got the Dorothy haircut. Thereby securing a place for myself in the geek hall of fame.  
Angel: Hmm, you wanted to be like her?  
Buffy: I wanted to be her. My parents were fighting all the time, and skating was an escape. I felt safe.  
Angel: When was the last time you put on your skates?  
Buffy: (inhales) About a couple of hundred demons ago.  
Angel: (steps close to her) There's a rink out past Route 17, it's... closed on Tuesdays.  
Buffy: (looks up at him) Tomorrow's Tuesday.  
Angel: I know.  
Cut to school the next day. Cordelia and Xander are going over the results of the career aptitude test posted on a bulletin board. She finds herself in the A-D list.  
Cordelia: Oh, here I am. 'Personal shopper or motivational speaker.' Neato!  
Xander: Motivational speaker? On what? Ten ways to a more annoying you?  
She pages through the H-K list and finds Xander's results.  
Cordelia: Oh, what about you? You're... (giggles and leaves)  
Xander: What? (frantically looks himself up) What!  
Cut to a hall exit. Willow and Buffy come out and start across the quad.  
Willow: You and Angel are going skating? Alone?  
Buffy: Unless some unforeseen evil pops up. But I'm in full 'see no evil' mode.  
Willow: Angel ice-skating.  
Buffy: I know. Two worlds collide.  
Xander meets up with them.  
Xander: Wouldn't you two say you know me about as well as anyone else? Maybe even better than I know myself?  
Willow: What's this about?  
Xander: When you look at me, do you think 'prison guard?  
Willow and Buffy giggle.  
Buffy: Um, crossing guard, maybe, but prison guard? (shakes her head)  
Xander: They just put up the assignments for the career fair, and according to my test results I can look forward to being gainfully employed in the growing field of corrections.  
Buffy: (giggles) Well, at least you'll be on the right side of the bars.  
Xander: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Laugh now, missy, they assigned you to the booth for law enforcement professionals.  
Buffy: (stunned) As in police?  
Xander: As in polyester, doughnuts and brutality.  
Buffy whines.  
Willow: But, (smiles) doughnuts!  
Buffy: (whines louder) Well, I'll just jump off that bridge when I come to it.  
She spots Giles walking along with a tall stack of old books in his arms.  
Buffy: First I have to deal with Giles. He's on this Tony Robbins hyper-efficiency kick. Expects me to check in every day after homeroom. (walks off after Giles) Police?  
Xander starts to follow, but Willow holds him back.  
Willow: You didn't check to see which seminar I was assigned to, did you?  
Xander: I did, and you weren't.  
Willow: I wasn't what?  
Xander: On the list.  
Willow: But I handed in my test! I used a number two pencil!  
Xander: Then I guess you musta passed.  
Willow: It's not the kinda test you pass or fail.  
Xander: Your name wasn't up there, Will.  
Willow is a bit taken aback.  
Cut to the library. Giles walks to the table, balancing his stack of books. He carefully sets them down and leans over a bit to straighten the stack, but over-leans, and the books begins to fall over. He reacts quickly to try to stop them.  
Giles: AH!  
Buffy puts her hand on top of the stack just as he does, and they push it back up. Giles is relieved.  
Giles: (exhales) Buffy. Thank you. (she sits) I've been, uh, indexing the Watcher diaries covering the last couple of centuries. You would be amazed at how numbingly pompous and long-winded some of these Watchers were.  
Buffy: Color me stunned.  
Giles: So, uh, I trust last night's patrol was fruitful?  
Buffy: Semi. Mm, I caught one out of two vamps after they stole something from this jumbo mausoleum.  
Giles: They were stealing?  
Buffy: Yeah! They had tools, flashlights, whole nine yards. What does that mean anyway? 'Whole nine yards'? (Giles begins to pace) Nine yards of what? (whines) Now it's gonna bug me all day. Giles, you're in pace mode. What gives?  
Giles: Um, this vampire who escaped, did you see what he took?  
Buffy: No, but I could take a guess and say it was something old.  
Giles: You made no effort to find out what was taken?  
Buffy: Have a cow, Giles! I just figured it was your everyday vamp hijinks.  
Giles: Well, what if it wasn't? This could be very serious! I mean, i-  
i-if you'd made an effort to, uh, to be more thorough in your observations.  
Buffy: Y'know, if you don't like the way I'm doing my job, why don't you find somebody else? Oh, that's right, there can only be one. As long as I'm alive, there is no one else. Well, there you go! I don't have to be the Slayer. I could be dead.  
Giles: That wasn't terribly funny. You notice I don't laugh.  
Buffy: Wouldn't be much of a change. Either way I'm bored, constricted, I never get to shop, and my hair and fingernails still continue to grow. So really, when you think about it, what's the diff?  
Giles: Do we have to be introspective now? Our only concern is to discover what was stolen from that mausoleum last night.  
Cut to Drusilla's room. She waves her hand over an intricately carved gold cross held out to her by Spike on a red velvet pillow. Darla and Dalton stand behind them.  
Darla: That's the key then?  
Drusilla: (senses) It hums. I can hear it.  
Spike: Once you're well again, we'll have a coronation down Main Street, and invite everyone, and drink for seven days and seven nights.  
Dalton: (behind them) What about the Slayer? She almost blew the whole thing for us. She's trouble.  
Spike: (looks at him) You don't say? (gets up) Trouble! (paces) She's the gnat in my ear! The gristle in my teeth! She's the bloody thorn in my BLOODY SIDE! (kicks the table violently)  
Drusilla: (concerned) Spike?  
Spike: (talking to Darla) We gotta do something. We'll never complete her cure with that bitch breathing down our necks. (exhales) We need to bring in the big guns. They'll take care of her once and for all.  
Dalton: Big guns?  
Spike: Yeah. The big guns? Who are the big guns nowadays?  
Darla: We need the Order of Taraka.

Dalton: The bounty hunters!

Spike: That's perfect. They'll keep her busy during your curing ritual.  
Drusilla deals three tarot cards. One is of a Cyclops, another of a centipede and the third of a panther.  
Drusilla: They're coming to my party. (looks up) Three of them.  
Spike walks back to the bed to look at the cards.  
Dalton: Uh, yes, but... The Order of Taraka, I mean... isn't that overkill?  
Darla: (smiling) No, it's just enough kill.  
Part 2 The career fair in the school lounge. Xander walks into the hall at the far end and spots Willow.  
Xander: Willow! (they walk) What are you doing here? Fly! Be free, little bird, you defy category!  
Willow: I'm looking for Buffy.  
Xander: Oh, she went with Giles about an hour ago. Some kind of field trip deal.  
Willow: If she doesn't get back soon, Snyder's really... (spots him on the stairs) ...done a great job with the fair this year, hasn't he, Xander?  
Xander: Principal Snyder! Great career fair, sir! Really! In fact, I'm so inspired by your leadership, I'm thinking principal school. I wanna walk in your shoes. Not your actual shoes, of course, because you're a tiny person. Not tiny in the small sense, of course. Okay, I'm done now.  
Snyder: Where is she?  
Willow: Who?  
Snyder: You know who.  
Willow: You mean Buffy? (looks around) I just saw her.  
Snyder: (interrupts) And don't feed me that 'I just saw her a minute ago, she's around here somewhere' story.  
Willow: But I did... just see her a minute ago, and she is... around here somewhere!  
Xander: For what it's worth.  
Snyder: (interrupts) It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.  
Xander: Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in the position to be that honest with you.  
Snyder: Fascinating. (leaves)  
Xander: (to Willow) Well, love to stay and chat, but I got an appointment with the warden on standard riot procedure. Ciao. (walks off)  
Willow: Okay, see ya.  
Two recruiters in dark suits approach Willow.  
Recruiter: Willow Rosenberg? (she faces them) Come with us, please?  
Willow: Excuse me?  
Recruiter: Let's walk.  
The two men take her by the arms and guide her to a curtained-off area of the lounge. They pull the curtain aside for Willow. She steps through and they follow her, letting the curtain fall closed again behind them. A waiter in a white jacket and black bow tie holds an hors-d'oeuvre tray up for her.  
Recruiter: Try the canape'. It's excellent.  
Willow shakes her head to the waiter, and he immediately departs.  
Willow: What is all this?  
Recruiter: You've been selected to meet with Mr. McCarthy, head recruiter for the world's leading software concern. The jet was delayed by fog at Sea-Tac, but he should be here any minute. Please, (indicates the couch) make yourself comfortable.  
Willow: But I didn't even get my test back.  
Recruiter: The test was irrelevant. We've been tracking you for some time.  
Willow: Is that a good thing?  
Recruiter: I would think so. We're extremely selective. In fact, only one other Sunnydale student met our criteria.  
Without another word the two recruiters turn and leave through the curtain. Willow is a bit stunned, but stays and turns around to see who the other student is. Oz is sitting there on the couch studying another tray of canape'. She steps over to the couch and sits down on the other end. She folds her hands in her lap and looks over at Oz. He notices someone sit and turns to look. When he sees her he does a double take and realizes she's the girl he's noticed twice before. He looks down at the tray in his hand and offers it to her.  
Oz: Canape?  
Cut to a cemetery entrance. Buffy swings open the metal gate and strides in, holding a flashlight. Giles is running to catch up with her.  
Giles: Buffy! Slow down! Please!  
Buffy: Giles, we have work to do, remember? Get with the program.  
Giles holds his chest as he breathes hard to catch his breath from running after her. They continue walking to the mausoleum.  
Giles: You're behaving remarkably im-immaturely. (pant)  
Buffy: You know why? I am immature. I'm a teen. I have yet to mature.  
Giles: I was (pant) simply offering some (pant) constructive criticism. (pant)  
Buffy: No! You were harsh! God, you act like I picked this gig. But remember, I'm the picked.  
Giles: What you have (pant) is more than (pant) a gig. (pant) It's a sacred duty. (pant) Which (pant) shouldn't prevent you from e-e-  
eventually procuring some (pant) more (pant) gainful f-f-form of employment. Uh-uh-uh, such as I did.  
Buffy: Uh, Giles, it's one thing to be a Watcher and a librarian. They go together like chicken and... another chicken, or... two chickens, or... something, you know what I'm saying! The point is, no one blinks an eye if you want to spend all your days with books. What am I supposed to do? Carve stakes for a nursery?  
Giles has gotten in front of her as they make their way past several gravestones.  
Giles: Um, point taken. I must, however, admit, I-I've never really... Well, now there's a thought, have you ever considered law enforcement?  
Buffy stops in her tracks as Giles turns to face her. She looks at him like he's crazy. A moment later her expression changes to exasperation, and she raises her flashlight and jerks it at the mausoleum behind him.  
Giles: What? (turns to look) Oh!  
They walk up the steps and go in. Cut inside. The chamber is bare except for two large stone vases and a pile of rubble on the floor. They come down the steps.  
Giles: May I? (reaches for the flashlight)  
Buffy: (hands it to him) Be my guest.  
He turns on the flashlight and walks over to where the wall has been broken into.  
Giles: It's a reliquary. Used to house items of religious significance. Most commonly a finger or some other body part from a saint.  
Buffy: Note to self: religion: freaky.  
She leans against the wall as Giles scans around the rest of the room with the flashlight. He spots a name engraved on a stone high above.  
Giles: Du Lac. Oh dear, oh dear.  
Buffy: I hate when you say that.  
Giles: Josephus du Lac was buried here. He belonged to a religious sect that was excommunicated by the Vatican at the turn of the century.  
Buffy: Excommunicated and sent to Sunnydale. There's a guy big with the sinning.  
Giles: You remember the book that was stolen from the library by a vampire a few weeks ago?  
Buffy: Yeah.  
Giles: It was written by Du Lac. Damn it! I let it slip my mind with all the excitement.  
Buffy: I'm guessing it wasn't a 'Taste of the Vatican' cookbook.  
They start out of the mausoleum.  
Giles: No, the, uh, book was said to contain rituals and spells that reap unspeakable evil. However, it was written in archaic Latin so that nobody but the sect members could understand it.  
Cut outside.  
Buffy: So, everything's cool then.  
Giles: It's not. First the book was taken from the library, and now the vampires have stolen something from Du Lac's tomb.  
Buffy: You think they figured out how to read the book?  
Giles: Something's coming, Buffy, and whatever it is, I can guarantee it's not good.  
Cut to the Sunnydale bus depot. The camera pans from the depot building to a bus just arriving as the announcement is being made.  
Announcement: Bus 219, continuing service to Los Angeles, now arriving in Sunnydale at the west gate.  
The doors of the bus open, and the passengers begin to file out. Cut to the bottom step of the bus. A pair of heavy steel-toed boots stops on the step. The camera pans up the man's body past his leather jacket and long hair to his face. A scar runs across his left eye, apparently blinded by an injury. He looks around and steps off of the bus.  
Cut to the street in front of the Summers house. A salesman comes walking along the street carrying a large case and eyes the 'Summers' nameplate hanging from their mailbox. He looks up at the house, but continues past to the next house and walks up to the front door. He knocks, and a woman answers.  
Norman: Mrs. Kalish?  
Mrs. Kalish: Yes?  
Norman: Hello, I'm Norman Pfister with (holds up the case) Blush Beautiful Skin Care. I'm not selling anything, so I'm not asking you to buy, just to accept a few free samples.  
Mrs. Kalish: (takes off her glasses) Free?  
Norman: Absolutely.  
Mrs. Kalish looks him up and down and nods him into her home. He walks in and she follows him, closing the door behind her. The camera closes in on the door, and Mrs. Kalish screams loudly.  
Cut to the airport. Mrs. Kalish's scream blends into the noise of a 747 flying overhead as it comes in for a landing. Cut to a view of the tarmac. Several jets are parked at their gates. Cut inside the cargo bay of a jet. The cargo door opens, and a baggage handler comes up the loading ramp and steps in. He notices that the cargo nets have been torn open, and takes off his headphones.  
Handler: What the hell?  
He looks closer and suspects someone's there.  
Handler: Hey, you're not supposed to be in here!  
He pulls out his flashlight and holds it ready to use as a club.  
Handler: Hey, c'mon!  
He walks in further, looking for whoever it is. He sees a shadow moving behind a baggage container. Suddenly a foot comes up and kicks him in the face, in the gut and again in the face. He falls onto his back unconscious. The person walks toward the cargo door and peeks out. It's a young Caribbean girl with long curly hair tied back and large hoop earrings. She makes her way out of the plane, keeping a careful watch for anyone who might see her.  
Cut to the school. Cut to the library. Willow, Buffy and Xander are sitting at the table.  
Willow: So Giles is sure that the vampire who stole his book is connected to the one you slayed last night? Or is it slew?  
Giles: (comes out of the stacks with a National Geographic magazine) Both are correct, and, yes, I'm sure. Du Lac was both a, a... a theologian and a mathematician. (comes down the stairs) This article describes an invention of his, which he called 'The Du Lac Cross.  
Xander: So, why go to all the trouble of inventing something, and then giving it a weak name like that? I mean, I'da gone with 'The Cross-o-  
matic', or, uh, 'The Amazing Mr. Cross.  
The girls just stare at him. He looks up at Giles and nods. Giles doesn't think his musings are funny either.  
Giles: The cross was more than a mere symbol, (hands the open magazine to Willow) it was used to understand certain mystical texts, to, uh, decipher hidden meanings and so forth.  
Buffy: So you're saying these vampires went to all this hassle for your basic decoder ring?  
Giles: (taken aback by the metaphor) Uh, actually, yes, I, I suppose I am.  
Willow: According to this, Du Lac destroyed every cross except the one buried with him.  
Buffy: Why destroy your own work?  
Giles: (paces) Perhaps he feared what might happen if it fell into the wrong hands.  
Xander: A fear we'll soon get to experience for ourselves up close and personal.  
Giles: U-unless we can preempt their plans.  
Willow: How?  
Giles: Uh, by learning what's in the book before they do. Which means we can expect to be here later tonight. (sits)  
Willow: (smiles broadly) Goody! Research party!  
Xander: Will, you need a life in the worst way.  
Buffy: (gets up) Speaking of, I really have to bail, but I promise I'll be back bright and early tomorrow and ready to slay.  
Giles: This is a matter of some urgency, Buffy.  
Buffy: I realize that. Well, you have to admit, I kinda lack in the book area. I mean, you guys are the brains, I'd only be here for moral support anyway.  
Xander: That's untrue, Buffy, you totally contribute. You go for snacks!  
Buffy looks to Willow for help.  
Willow: She should go. Y-y'know, gather her strength.  
Giles: Perhaps you're right. There may be fierce battles ahead.  
Buffy makes tracks for the door.  
Xander: But Ho-Hos are a vital part of my cognitive process!  
Buffy: (smiles back at him) Sorry, Xand. Someplace I have to be.  
Giles and Xander give each other a look.  
Cut to the ice skating rink. The place is empty except for Buffy skating gracefully by herself. She makes use of the whole rink, doing practiced turns and spins. A minute later Buffy skates quickly by the staging area, and the camera stops to focus on a stage panel begin pushed open. The one-eyed bounty hunter looks in at her.  
Part 3 The ice-skating rink. Buffy skates along, still by herself. She does a crouching maneuver, but wipes out and slides backward against the sidewall. As she starts to get up the bounty hunter reaches down, puts his arm around her neck and lifts her off of the ice. He lays her down on the railing and begins to choke her. Buffy tries to pry his hands from her throat as she struggles to breathe. Angel comes running across the ice, sporting his game face.  
Angel: Buffy!  
He leaps and tackles the bounty hunter, knocking him off of Buffy. She falls from the railing onto the ice with her knee. Angel lifts the bounty hunter to his feet and punches him in the face. The bounty hunter isn't fazed, and returns with a double-fisted punch to Angel's stomach, sending him back into the wall. Angel comes off the wall and jabs him in the face again, but the bounty hunter just shrugs it off. He punches Angel in the face and gut, making him stagger into the wall again. The bounty hunter grabs Angel by the throat and lifts him up. Buffy comes skating toward them at a fast pace. The bounty hunter turns to face her. She grabs a net that's hanging there and uses it to swing up with her foot and hit him in the throat with the blade of her skate, crushing his trachea. He lets go of Angel and grabs his own neck, unable to breathe. He takes a few steps onto the ice and collapses there, dead.  
Cut to Drusilla's bed. She takes the tarot card of the Cyclops and turns it over.  
Drusilla: He's passing under our feet right now.  
Spike: No worries. We're close to decoding the manuscript. We just need a bit more time.  
Drusilla: Time is ours. It brings the Slayer closer to them.  
The camera pans from the face down card over to the other two, still turned face up.  
Cut to the skating rink. Buffy rubs her knee. Angel crouches over the bounty hunter and lifts his hand to inspect his ring.  
Buffy: The Hellmouth presents: Dead Guys On Ice. Not exactly the evening we were aiming for.  
Angel looks closely at the ring.  
Angel: You're in danger. You know what the ring means?  
Buffy: I just killed a Super Bowl champ?  
Angel: (annoyed) I'm serious! You should go home and wait until you hear from me.  
He drops the bounty hunter's hand and stands up. He still has his game face on. Buffy skates over to him.  
Angel: Are you okay?  
She puts her gloved hand on his cheek and sees the cut above his eye.  
Buffy: What about you? That cut! (lowers her hand)  
Angel: Forget about me. This is bad, Buffy. We gotta get you outta here.  
Buffy: What, you mean hide?  
Angel: Let's just get you someplace safe!  
Buffy: No! Your eye!  
She reaches back up to him and he shakes her off.  
Buffy: Hey! Don't be a baby. I'm not gonna hurt you.  
Angel: It's not that. I.  
Buffy: What?  
Angel: You shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this.  
She looks up into his vampire features.  
Buffy: Oh.  
She removes her glove and reaches up to touch his brow and his wound, brushing gently across and down his cheek.  
Buffy: I didn't even notice.  
She moves closer to kiss him. He responds, and they kiss gently. The kiss becomes more passionate as she reaches her hand behind his neck to draw him closer. Off to the side the girl from the airport walks up and stops, observing their kiss. Angel puts his arms around Buffy, and she rises up onto the tips of her skates to get even closer.  
Cut to the library. Giles inspects the ring under a magnifying lamp. Buffy is sitting on the steps holding an icepack to her knee. Willow and Xander are at the table.  
Buffy: This guy was hard-core, Giles. And Angel was power-freaked by that ring.  
Giles: I'm afraid he was not overreacting. This ring is worn only by members of the Order of Taraka. It's a society of deadly assassins dating back to King Solomon. (sits)  
Xander: And didn't they beat the Elks this year in the Sunnydale adult bowling league championships?  
Giles: Their credo is to sow discord and kill the unwary.  
Xander: Bowling is a vicious game.  
Giles: (very annoyed) That's enough, Xander!  
Xander looks down in shame. Buffy and Willow look concerned and upset.  
Giles: Sorry. It's just not the time for jokes. I need to think. (takes off his glasses)  
Buffy: These assassins, why are they after me?  
Willow: 'Cause you're the scourge of the underworld?  
Buffy: I haven't been that scourgey lately.  
Giles: (rubbing his eyes) I don't know, I don't know. (exhales) I think the best thing we can do is to find a secure location. Somewhere out of the way you can go until we decide on the best course of action.  
Buffy: (gets up) Okay, now you and Angel have both said to head for the hills. Are you saying I can't handle this, that I'm not strong enough to fight these people?  
Giles: They're a breed apart, Buffy. U-unlike vampires they have no earthly desires, (Willow listens in shock) but to collect their bounty. They find a target, and, uh... they eliminate it. (Buffy absorbs this solemnly) You can kill as many of them as you like, it won't make any difference. Where there's one, there will be another, and another. They won't stop coming until the job is done.  
Cut to a view of Buffy's house through binoculars from Mrs. Kalish's house.  
Giles: Each one of them works alone.  
Cut to Norman looking through his binoculars.  
Giles: His own way.  
Cut to the floor. Mrs. Kalish is lying there dead. A trail of mealworms leads from her over to Norman sitting in a chair.  
Giles: Some are human, some... a-are not. Y-you won't know who they are until they strike.  
Norman takes the binoculars from his eyes. There are mealworms crawling over his shoes. His hand and part of his forearm are missing, and the mealworms crawl all over it. They quickly form a hand, and it takes on the appearance of human skin. He reaches over to a cup of tea and lifts it to take a sip.  
Cut to the halls at school. Buffy is wigged and tense as she walks down the hall. She holds her hands to the back of her neck and shoulders. She jumps when a boy barges through the doors in the hall in front of her. She walks through the doors and scans the students in the hall, paranoid about them looking at her. The police recruiter looks at her, and she stares back. A teacher comes down the stairs in front of her and looks at her as he runs a comb through his hair. Several students walk past her, giving her the occasional glance. Behind her Oz comes walking at a quick pace. She hears a locker slam behind her and spins toward the noise, notices Oz quickly bearing down on her, takes him by the neck and shoves him into the wall.  
Buffy: Try it!  
Oz: (confused) Try what?  
She realizes she's made a mistakes and lets go of his neck.  
Buffy: Uh... (exhales) I-I'm sorry.  
Oz: Still not clear what I'm supposed to try.  
Buffy: Nothing. God, I'm... sorry, I.  
She steps away from him, looks both ways down the hall and quickly heads off in the direction she was going. Oz moves away from the wall and shudders.  
Oz: That is a tense person.  
Cut to Buffy's street at night. Buffy walks home alone, arms crossed and scanning the area around her. When she reaches her house she stops and just stares at it. She thinks better of going inside, looks around again and continues on.  
Cut to the library. Giles walks out of his office cleaning his glasses. Willow is sitting at the counter going through a volume.  
Willow: I wish there was more we could do.  
Giles: We're doing all that we can. (puts on his glasses) The only course of action is to try and find out what was in that stolen book. (reads a card from the catalog)  
Willow: I've never seen Buffy like that. She just took off.  
Xander: (coming in) Well, she didn't go home. I let the phone ring a few hundred times before I remembered her mom is out of town.  
Giles: Well, maybe Buffy unplugged the phone.  
Xander: No, it's a statistical impossibility for a sixteen-year-old girl to unplug her phone.  
Willow nods in agreement.  
Giles: Well, perhaps my words of caution were... a little too alarming.  
Xander: (with heavy sarcasm) Ya think?  
Willow: It's good that she took you seriously, Giles. I just wish we knew where she was.  
Cut to the hall outside Angel's apartment. Buffy comes down the stairs and walks over to his door. There's no answer when she knocks.  
Buffy: Angel?  
She tries the doorknob, but it's locked. Cut inside. She twists the knob hard, breaking it and opening the door. She slowly comes in, has a look around and closes the door. She turns on the lights. The apartment is sparsely furnished. A modern desk strewn with papers is against the far wall with a dozen old pictures hanging on the wall around it. The floor is bare concrete, and her heels click quietly as she slowly walks over to an ivory statue enclosed in a glass display case. She looks at it a moment before going on. She looks around as she continues, and passes an elegant antique armoire. Finally she finds his unmade bed, and slowly goes over to it and sits down. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, weary from the day's events. A moment later she lays herself down on the bed, resting her head on his pillow and curling up. She hugs her arms close to her heart and falls asleep.  
Cut to a sleazy bar. Willy is sweeping up the place after hours. Angel appears in the shadow of the doorway.  
Willy: We're closed! Can't you read the sign?  
Angel steps into the light.  
Willy: Oh, uh... hey, Angel. I didn't recognize you in the dark there. What, uh... what can I do for you tonight?  
Angel: I need some information.  
Willy: Yeah? Man, that's too bad, 'cause... I'm stayin' away from that whole scene. I'm livin' right, Angel.  
Angel slowly walks past the booths over to the pinball machine.  
Angel: Sure you are, Willy. And I'm taking up sunbathing.  
Willy: C'mon, man. Don't be that way! I-I treat you vamps good! I-I-I-I don't hassle you, you don't hassle me... We all enjoy the patronage of this establishment. Everybody's happy, right?  
Angel: Who sent them?  
Willy: Who sent who?  
Angel: (stops at the pinball machine) The Order of Taraka.  
Willy: I-I... I tell ya, I haven't been in the loop.  
Angel: Let's try again. The Order of Taraka, they're after the Slayer. (crosses over to the bar)  
Willy: C'mon, man.  
Angel: Was it Spike? (steps toward Willy)  
Willy: Look, Angel, I-I got some good pigs' blood in, good stuff, my fence said.  
Angel grabs Willy and smacks his head into the bar. Willy knocks a half-  
empty pitcher of beer onto the floor. Angel presses down hard on Willy's head with his hand.  
Willy: Damn it! Ah.  
Angel: You know, I'm a little rusty when it comes to killing humans. It could take a while.  
Willy: Oh, she will draw and quarter me, man!  
Angel: I'll take care of Spike…wait you said her? Darla? Drusilla?  
Willy: You know he ordered those guys! Spike and the girls are gettin' sick of your slayer getting in their way!  
Angel: Where can I find them?  
Willy: I tell you that, I'm gonna need relocating expenses! It'll cost you!  
Angel: (presses harder) It'll cost who?  
Willy: Okay! Okay! Spike, the blonde, and that freaky chick of his are.  
He is interrupted by someone kicking Angel in the face. Angel falls back onto the floor dazed and looks up at his attacker. It's the girl from the airport. She grabs Willy's broom, breaks the end of the handle off and attacks Angel with the makeshift stake.  
Part 4 Willy's bar. Angel rolls out of the way of the girl's thrust. Willy takes the opportunity to flee the bar. Angel is up again, and he ducks a swing from her. She tries a direct thrust, which Angel just pushes aside, but she follows it up with a punch to the face from her other hand and uses her momentum to spin around for a roundhouse kick, knocking him through the door into the back room. He crashes into several cases of beer. When he gets back up he's vamped out. The girl charges him with the stake held above her head in both hands. He blocks her charge with his arms and twists her arms down, forcing her to drop the stake, and shoves her into a bank of lockers. He tries to knock her legs out from under her, but her footing is firm and she kicks him in the back, knocking him down instead. Once down he tries kicking again, and this time makes her fall. She grabs his shirt, pulls him up a bit and kicks him in the face. They both scramble to their feet. Angel swings and misses. He swings the other way, but she blocks it and punches him three times in the gut and then a right hook to his jaw. She shoves him into the door of the cage. He bounces off of it and she kicks him in the chest, making him stumble backward through the cage door and into a bunch of empty water bottles. Several cans fall onto him from a shelf above. She looks at him with cold eyes as he recovers from his fall.  
Angel: Who are you? If you tell me what I need to know I won't hurt you.  
She laughs as she steps back.  
Angel: You think this is funny?  
She swings closed the cage door and sets the bolt. Angel scrambles to his feet and slams up against the door.  
Kendra: I tink it is funny now. Dat girl. De one I saw you wit before?  
Angel: You stay away from her.  
Kendra: I'm afraid you are not in a position to treaten.  
Angel: When I get outta here I'll do more than threaten!  
Kendra: Den I suggest ya move quickly. (looks up at the windows) Eastern exposure. De sun will be comin' in a few hours. (padlocks the cage) More dan enough time for me to find your girlfriend.  
Angel screams in anger and slams the cage with his hand.  
Cut to the library after sunrise. Giles is at his desk studying a book while holding the phone, waiting for Xander to answer.  
Giles: Xander? (pauses) No, no, I-I haven't heard from Buffy yet. Look, look, I-I-I think you should go to her house and check on her. (pauses) Well, ri-right a, right away. (pauses) I-I-I don't know, get Cordelia to drive you.  
He hangs up without waiting for a response. He picks up the book he's reading and heads back into the main room with it. There he sees Willow asleep in front of the PC with her head resting on the keyboard. He closes his book, crouches slightly and gently places his hand on her shoulder to wake her.  
Giles: (quietly) Willow?  
Willow wakes with a start and sits bolt upright.  
Willow: Don't warn the tadpoles!  
Giles: Are you alright?  
Willow: Giles, what are you doing here?  
Giles: It's the library, Willow. You fell asleep.  
Willow: (looks around) Oh! I.  
Giles: Don't warn the tadpoles?  
Willow: (groggy) I... I have frog fear.  
Giles: Oh.  
Willow: I'm sorry. I conked out.  
Giles: What? Please. You've gone quite beyond the call of duty. (sits) But, but, I-I... uh, fortunately, I think I may have found something finally.  
Willow: You did?  
Giles: I-I found a-a description of the missing Du Lac manuscript. It's a ritual, Willow. Now, I-I, uh... (gets up to pace) I haven't managed to decipher the exact details, but I-I... I believe the purpose is to restore a weak and sick vampire back to full health.  
Willow: A vampire like Drusilla?  
Giles: Exactly.  
Cut to Drusilla's room. Dalton slams the Du Lac manuscript shut and hands Darla his handwritten pages of translation. Spike looks at it over her shoulder, reads a bit and smiles.  
Spike: By George, I think he's got it! (walks to Drusilla in bed) The key to your cure, ducks. The missing bloody link, it was.  
Drusilla: (weakly) ...Right, right in front of us... the whole time.  
Pan to Darla's sad face, knowing the ritual will kill Angel.  
She takes Spike's hand and pulls it down to her deck of tarot cards. The top card is a picture of an angel.  
Cut to the street in front of Buffy's house. Xander and Cordelia walk up to her house.  
Cordelia: I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?  
Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.  
Cordelia: Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi and your punching bag.  
Xander: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way.  
He takes the steps up to the porch and knocks on the door. He looks in through the glass.  
Xander: Buffy!  
When he doesn't see anyone stirring inside he walks over to the window.  
Xander: C'mon, Cordelia. You wanna be a member of the Scooby Gang you gotta be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then. (tries a window)  
Cordelia: Oh, right, 'cause I lie awake at night hoping you tweakos will be my best friends.  
Xander tries another window.  
Cordelia: And that my first husband will be a balding, demented homeless man.  
Xander: (gets the window open) Buffy could be in trouble. (steps through the window)  
Cordelia: And what if she is exactly? What are you gonna do about it? In case you haven't noticed, (he opens the door for her) you're the lameness and she's the super chick, or whatever.  
Xander: Well, at least I'm the lameness who cares, which is more than I can say about you. (into the house) Buffy! I'm gonna check upstairs.  
Cordelia comes in and closes the door behind her. Xander climbs the stairs.  
Xander: Buffy?  
Cordelia spins her keys around as she walks into the living room and looks around. She hears a knocking at the door and goes to answer it. When she opens it Norman is standing there.  
Norman: Good day. I'm Norman Pfister with Blush Beautiful (holds up his case) Skin Care and Cosmetics. I was wondering if I might interest you in some free samples?  
Cordelia: (smiles) Free?  
She steps aside to admit him and closes the door.  
Cut to the back room at the bar. Sunlight is streaming through the window and is starting to shine into the cage. Angel slams against the door, trying to break it open, but can't get it to budge. He tries prying at the top, but no luck. He pushes against the door again.  
Cut to Angel's apartment. Buffy is sleeping on his bed. She stirs and wakes. She hears a noise, opens her eyes to look up and immediately rolls to the far side of the bed as a hatchet strikes the pillow where her head was. It's Kendra, and she swings again and hits the mattress when Buffy sidesteps the blow. Buffy does a flip over Kendra's back and onto the floor behind her, ready to fight.  
Buffy: You must be number two!  
Kendra swings with the hatchet. Buffy ducks the swing and grabs the bed curtain. She pulls it down and over Kendra's head and knocks her to the floor with a kick to the head. Kendra quickly scrambles out from under the curtain and holds the hatchet up and ready.  
Buffy: Thanks for the wakeup, but I'll stick with my clock radio.  
Kendra swings the hatchet, and Buffy catches it. Kendra pulls her around and slams her into the wall, pushing the hatchet into her chest. Buffy pushes the hatchet up and away from her. Kendra pulls down on it, flipping Buffy over onto her back. She bears down on her.  
Buffy: Come on, don't make me do the chick fight thing.  
Kendra: Chick fight?  
Buffy: You know.  
She lets go of the hatchet with one hand and digs her nails into Kendra's hand. She grits her teeth and grunts in pain. Buffy grabs Kendra's arm and rolls her over and away. They both scramble to their feet. Buffy kicks the hatchet out of Kendra's hand. Kendra tries two kicks, which Buffy easily blocks. Buffy ducks a swing to her head and swings back, but Kendra grabs her arm in mid-swing and flips her over onto the coffee table, smashing it. Buffy lets out a pained breath. Kendra reaches down for her. Buffy kicks up with both legs into Kendra's face and makes her fall backward to the floor. They both scramble to their feet again. Buffy does a roundhouse kick to Kendra's face. She falls again, but hops right back to her feet. They face each other, ready to continue the fight.  
Kendra: Who are you?  
Buffy: Who am I? You attacked me! Who, the hell, are you!  
Kendra: I am Kendra! De Vampire Slayer!  
Buffy looks at her in utter disbelief.  
To be continued... 


	5. What's My Line Part Two

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

Angel's apartment. Buffy and Kendra are faced off, ready to continue their fight.

Buffy: (out of breath) Okay, one more time. You're the who!

Kendra: I'm de Slayer.

Buffy: Nice cover story. But here's a tip: you might wanna try it on someone who's not the real Slayer.

Kendra: Ya can't stop me! Even if ya kill me, anodder Slayer will be sent to take me place.

Buffy: Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!

Kendra: Nonsense! Dere is but one, and I am she.

Buffy: Okay, (sniffs) a scenario. (holds up her hand) You back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out.

Kendra: Wiggy?

Buffy: You know. No kick-o, no fight-o?

Kendra considers the offer a moment, then relaxes her stance and crosses her arms.

Kendra: I accept your scenario.

Buffy: So. You were sent here?

Kendra: Yes, by my Watcher.

Buffy: To do what, exactly?

Kendra: To do my duty. I am here to kill vampires.

Cut to the back room at Willy's bar. The camera pans from the window over to the cage. The sunlight has advanced past the cage door and is only about three feet from the far wall. Angel is crouched in the far corner, cowering and afraid. He looks up at the light coming through the window.

Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.

Part 1

The library. Kendra stands at attention as Giles paces. Buffy just leans on a chair with her left hand and has her right hand on her hip.

Giles: And your Watcher is, i-is Sam Zabuto, you say?

Kendra: Yes, sir.

Giles: We've never met, but he, he's, he's very well-respected.

Buffy: What, so he's a real guy? As in non-fictional?

Giles: And you are called...?

Kendra: I am de Vampire Slayer.

Buffy: We got that part, hon. He means your name.

Kendra: Oh. Dey call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir.

Buffy: (haughty) Can you say 'stuck in the 80's'?

Giles: Buffy, please. Uh, there's obviously some, some misunderstanding here.

Willow comes bouncing into the library with a smile on her face. Kendra marches around Buffy to intercept her.

Willow: (greets them) Hey!

Kendra: Identify yourself!

Willow is taken aback and her smile fades to a frown.

Buffy: Back off, pink ranger! This is my friend.

Kendra: Friend?

Buffy: Yeah. As in person you hang with? Amigo?

Kendra: I don't understand.

Buffy: (to Giles, exasperated) You try. I'm tapped. (sits)

Giles: Uh-uh, Kendra, uh, there are a-a-a few people, uh, ci-civilians if you like, who, who know Buffy's identity. Willow is one of them, a-a-  
and they also, um, spend time together, uh, socially.

Kendra: And you allow dis, sir?

Giles: Well, uh...

Kendra: But de Slayer must work in secret for security.

Giles: Of course, uh, but, uh, with Buffy, however, it-it's, um, some flexibility is required.

Buffy gives Giles a look.

Kendra: Why?

Willow: (confused) Hi, guys. W-what's goin' on? (goes to sit across from Buffy)

Buffy: Apparently there's been a really big mix-up.

Giles: Uh, it seems somehow that, uh, another Slayer has been sent to Sunnydale.

Willow: Is that even possible? I mean, two Slayers at the same time?

Giles: Not to my knowledge. Um, th-the new Slayer is only called after the previous Slayer has died. Uh... (realizes) Oh, good Lord! You were dead, Buffy.

Buffy: I was only gone for a minute.

Giles: Clearly it doesn't matter how long you were gone. You were physically dead! Thus causing the activation of the, the next Slayer. (nods toward Kendra)

Kendra: She died?

Buffy: Just a little.

Giles: She drowned, but she was revived.

Willow: So there really are two of them!

Giles: It would seem so. This is completely unprecedented! I'm quite flummoxed. (sits)

Buffy: What's the flum? It's a mistake, she isn't supposed to be here, she goes home! (to Kendra) Look, no offense, I really don't mean this personally, but I'm not dead, and frankly having you around creeps me out just a little bit.

Kendra: I cannot just leave. I was sent here for a reason. Mr. Zabuto said all de signs indicate dat a very dark power is about to rise in Sunnydale.

Buffy: (gets up) And what's your great plan for finding this dark power? You just gonna attack people randomly till you find a bad one?

Kendra: Of course not.

Buffy: Then why the hell did you attack me?

Kendra: I tought you were a vampire.

Buffy: Oh, a swing and a miss for the rookie. (walks around Kendra to Willow)

Kendra: I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a vampire?

Willow: (stands up in her defense) Buffy would never do that! (realizes) Oh. (to Buffy) Except for that sometimes you do that. (to Kendra) But only with Angel. (to Buffy) Right? (sits again)

Buffy: Yes! Right. (to Kendra) Look, you saw me with Angel, and he is a vampire, but he's good.

Kendra: Angel? You mean Angelus? I've read about him. He is a monster.

Giles: No, no, no, he's, he's good now.

Willow: (smiles) Really!

Buffy: He had a gypsy curse.

Kendra: He has a what?

Buffy: Y'know what, just trust me on this one, okay? He's on the home team now.

Kendra: I cannot believe you. He looked to me just like anodder animal when I...

Buffy: When you what? (confronts her) What did you do to him?

Kendra: I...

Buffy: What did you do!

Cut to the back room of Willy's bar. Angel leans against the back wall, weakened by the ambient light. Willy comes in and looks at him. He opens the cage door and walks in. He uses his body to shade Angel from the direct sunlight and drags him out of the cage and into another storage room. There he opens a hatch in the floor to the sewers below and drops Angel down into the shallow water. Angel is too weak to get up on his own. Willy lowers himself through the hatch and drops to the water, too. He's unhappy about the fact that his shoes have just been ruined. Spike walks into the light from the shadows.

Willy: There you go, friend. He'll be as good as new in a day or so.

Two of Spike's thugs arrive to drag Angel away. Willy holds up his hands to stop them.

Willy: Uh, hey, wai-wait. We had a deal, right?

Spike: (pulls out a wad of cash) What's the matter, Willy? Don't you trust me? (starts handing him bills)

Willy: Oh, yeah. Like a brother.

Spike slaps him across the cheek.

Spike: Talk and I'll have your guts for garters.

Willy: Wild horses couldn't drag it.

Spike holds up the last bill, crumbles it and drops it into the water.

Spike: Oops! Sorry, friend.

Willy bends over to pick up the bill as the two thugs grab Angel and drag him off.

Willy: What are you gonna do with him anyway?

Spike: I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know.

He follows his goons down the sewer. Willy counts his money again.

Cut to Buffy's house. Cut to the foyer. Norman's case is open and Cordelia is going through the samples.

Cordelia: Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn't think so, but I'm both a winter and a summer.

Norman: Nine ninety-nine, tax included.

Cordelia: You said that already. Do you have anything in the berry family?

Norman: Are there more ladies in the house?

Cordelia: Oh, no, they're not home. (faces him) You know, nothing personal, but maybe you should look into selling dictionaries, or... some...

She sees a mealworm crawl out of his sleeve and onto his hand. Xander comes back down the stairs and sees Norman. Cordelia slowly backs away from him.

Xander: Hey, what's up?

Cordelia: Um, he's a salesman, and he was just leaving, right? Uh, okay! Buh-bye! Thank you!

Xander: (reaches up to guide him out) Okay, Mary Kay, time to...

Another mealworm crawls across Norman's cheek and into his right ear. Xander backs away.

Xander: Time to run!

He breaks into a run, guiding Cordelia away with him as Norman transforms into a mass of mealworms. They quickly crawl across the floor. Xander and Cordelia run into the kitchen for the back door, but Norman is already there, reassembled and waiting for them. Cordelia screams, and Xander grabs her hand and pulls her back into the hall. They open the door to the basement and hurry in, closing the door behind them. The mealworms try to come under the door, but they stomp on them.

Xander: Find something to cover the crack under the door!

He grabs a broom and sweeps the mealworms back under the door with it.

Cordelia: Uhh... (finds a roll of duct tape) Here! I don't do worms.

He gives her an exasperated look, grabs the roll from her and shoves the broom into her hands.

Xander: Cover me!

She sweeps at the mealworms while he pulls a length of tape off of the roll and sticks it to the bottom of the door.

Cordelia: Eww! Eh! Eh!

Cut to the back room of Willy's bar. Buffy barges through the door.

Buffy: Angel!

Kendra walks into the cage where she left him and looks around.

Kendra: No ashes.

Buffy: What?

Kendra: When a vampire combusts, he leaves ashes.

Buffy: Yeah, I know the drill.

Kendra: So I did not kill him.

Buffy: And I don't need to kill you.

Willy shows up at the door.

Willy: Whoa! There's a lotta tension in this room.

Kendra attacks him and pushes him out of the back room and onto the floor.

Buffy: Doesn't anyone just say 'hello' where you come from?

Kendra turns Willy over on the floor and grabs him by the shirt, ready to punch.

Kendra: Dis one is dirty! I can feel it!

Buffy: That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, (lifts him up) but we're not gonna get anything out of him if he's, oh, say, (slams him into the bar) unconscious. (to Willy) Where's Angel?

Willy: My buddy Angel? You think I'd let him fry? I saved him in the nick! He was about five minutes away from being a crispy critter.

Buffy: Where'd he go?

Willy: Uh, he said he was gonna stay underground. You know, recuperate.

Buffy: Are you telling me the truth?

Willy: I swear on my mother's grave! Should something fatal happen to her, God forbid.

Kendra: Den he is alright. We can return to your Watcher for our orders.

Buffy: (lets go of Willy) I don't take orders. I do things my way.

Kendra: No wonder you died.

Buffy: (ignores the comment) Let's go.

They start to leave. Willy steps away from the bar.

Willy: I, I have to ask. (the girls looks back) Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked.

Buffy and Kendra exchange a look and just walk out without a word.

Willy: You don't have to answer right away.

Cut to Drusilla's bed. She's asleep. Spike bends over her and strokes her hair. She wakes.

Drusilla: (moans) I was dreaming.

Spike: Of what, pet?

Drusilla: We were in Paris. You had a branding iron.

Spike: I brought you something.

He goes over to the stairs and picks Angel up from the landing.

Drusilla: And there were worms in my baguette.

Spike: (drags Angel in) Your sire, my sweet. (dumps him on the floor)

Drusilla: My Angel?

Spike: (comes back to the bed) The one and only. Now all we need's the full moon tonight, and he will die, and you will be fully restored. (takes her hand, whispers) My black goddess. (kisses her hand) My ripe, (works his way up her arm) wicked plum. (raises his head) It's been...

Drusilla: Forever.

They kiss passionately. Angel watches from the floor, all tied up and gagged. He strains against his bonds. They break off their kiss.

Drusilla: Does grandmummy know he's here?

Spike: Not yet, love. I thought I'd let you see him first. I doubt Darla would let you even see him if she knew he was here?

Drusilla: She's going to be very cross at you, Spikey. (Pauses) Let me have him. Hmm? Until the moon.

Spike: (smiles) Alright, you can play, but don't kill him. He mustn't die till the ritual.

Drusilla: Bring him to me.

Spike picks Angel up from the floor and forces him over to Drusilla. She grabs him by the chin and looks him in the eye.

Drusilla: You've been a very bad daddy.

She slaps him across the face. Angel is powerless to do anything.

Part 2

Sunnydale High. Giles, Kendra, Willow and Buffy come down the outside stairs and head into the halls.

Giles: Kendra, I-I've, uh, conferred with your Watcher, Mr. Zabuto, and, uh, we both agree that, uh, until this matter with Spike, Darla, and Drusilla has been resolved that you two should work together.

Buffy: Oh, that'll be a treat.

Kendra: So, you believe dat Spike and Darla are attempting to revive dis Drusilla to health?

Giles: Yes, well, I-I-I-I think that's the, uh, the dark power that your, your Watcher re-referred to. You see, uh, you see Drusilla's not only evil, she's, uh, well, she's also quite mad, and-and-and-and if she's restored to her full health, then, uh, well, there's no, absolutely no telling what she might do. And spike is a well-known vampire for his brutal tactics. and then Darla...I've only had luck in finding out about her past ways. Nothing of late, but it is obvious that she may be the most brutal of the three and is the leader.

Kendra: Den we will stop them.

Buffy: Ooo, good plan, let's go, charge!

Giles: Buffy...

Buffy: It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne.

Giles: Yes, I'm, I'm afraid it is. You see, they have also called out the Order of Taraka to keep Buffy out of the way.

Kendra: De assassins? I read of dem in de writings of Dramius.

Giles: Oh, really? W-w-which volume?

They exit the hall and walk along the colonnade.

Kendra: I believe it was six, sir.

Buffy: Um, how do you know all this?

Kendra: From me studies.

Buffy: So, obviously you have a lot of free time.

Kendra: I study because it is required. (Giles smiles) The Slayer handbook insists on it.

Willow: There's a Slayer handbook?

Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?

Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? (gets a look from Buffy) 'Cause that would be cool... (rolls her eyes)

Giles: After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook would be of no use in your case.

Buffy: Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha-  
what's wrong with my case?

Giles: Uh, Kendra, um, perhaps you'd like to show me the, the part in, uh, Dramius Six where, uh, uh, where it refers to the Order of Taraka. Really, I-I, I seem to have never been able to get through that book. It was a bit stodgy.

Kendra: (smiles) It was difficult. All dose footnotes.

Giles and Kendra laugh out loud.

Buffy: (to Willow) Hello, and welcome to planet pocket protector.

Giles: Oh, well, B-Buffy, Principal Snyder was snooping round after you.

Buffy: (stops) Eee. Career fair.

Giles: Best make an appearance, I think.

Buffy: Right.

Kendra: Buffy's a student here?

Giles: Yes.

Kendra: Riiight, of course. And I imagine she's a cheerleader as well.

Giles: Oh, no, well, a-a-actually she had to give up her cheerleading. (gets a look from Kendra) Uh, it was quite an amusing story, actually. Uh, uh, let's go and find the book, shall we?

The two of them head off to the library. Buffy and Willow continue their walk.

Buffy: Get a load of the she-Giles.

Willow: Creepy.

Buffy: Ew. I'll bet Giles wishes I was more of a book geek.

Willow: Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you.

Buffy: Yeah, but did you see how they were vibing? (mocks them) Volume six, ha, ha, ha!

Willow: Buffy, no one could replace you. You'll always be Giles' favorite.

Buffy: I wonder.

Willow: Of course, you will. You're his Slayer. The real Slayer.

Buffy: No. I wonder if it would be so bad, being replaced.

Willow: You mean, like, letting Kendra take over?

Buffy: Maybe. I mean, maybe after this thing with Spike and the assassins is over, I could say, 'Kendra, you slay, I'm going to Disneyland.'

Willow: But not forever, right?

Buffy: No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months. But I could do other stuff. Career day stuff. Maybe I could even have a normal life.

Cut to Buffy's basement. Cordelia is pacing.

Xander: Could you sit down, or change your pattern or something? You're making me queasy.

Cordelia: (leans on the washer) Because you're just sitting there. You should be thinking up a plan.

Xander: I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us.

Cordelia: How will she even know where to find us?

Xander: Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are she'll find us.

Cordelia: Well, what if she doesn't? What am I supposed to do? Just waste away down here with you? Haw, haw, no thank you! (makes tracks for the stairs)

Xander: (gets up to stop her) What are you doin'?

Cordelia: (stops and faces him) Going to see if he's gone!

Xander: That's brilliant! What if he isn't?

Cordelia: Oh, right! You think we should just slack here and hope that somebody else decides to be a hero? (goes back to the washer) Sorry, forgot I was stranded with a LOSER! (leans and crosses her arms)

Xander: And yet I never forgot that I'm stuck with the numb-brain that let Mr. Mutant in the house in the FIRST PLACE!

Cordelia: HE LOOKED NORMAL!

Xander: What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' over his head! All it took was the prospect of a free makeover, and you licked his hand like a big, dumb dog!

Cordelia: You know what? (heads for the stairs again) I'm going.

Xander just raises his eyebrows, ready to let her go. She stops at the foot of the stairs and faces him again.

Cordelia: I'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face!

Xander: Then go! I'm not stopping ya!

Cordelia: I bet you wouldn't! I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!

Xander: Not just any girl. (nods) You're special.

Cordelia: I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here WITH YOU!

Xander: I hope these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with you, and I'm gonna... (steps closer)

Cordelia: (steps closer) I'm gonna what? Coward!

Xander: Moron!

Cordelia: I hate you!

Xander: I HATE YOU!

They look at each other for another second before grabbing each other and engaging in a mad, passionate kiss. It goes on for several seconds before they suddenly release each other and look at each other in surprise.

Xander: We so need to get outta here.

Cordelia: (nods) Mm-hm!

She rushes up the stairs with Xander right behind. They stop at the top, crouch down and give each other anxious looks. Xander grabs one end of the tape and pulls it off. There aren't any worms on the other side. Xander moves the broom aside and opens the door slowly. They both look out into the hall for any sign of the mealworms.

Cordelia: He's gone.

Xander steps out and peeks around the corner down the hall to the dining room. The coast looks clear, so Xander makes a dash for the front door. Cordelia follows a moment later, and when she comes through the dining room door mealworms begin falling onto her from the ceiling. She screams as they fall on her en masse and runs for the door. Cut outside. Xander throws the door open and dashes into the front yard. Cordelia follows him out, screaming.

Cordelia: Xander, oh my God! Get them off of me!

Xander turns to look.

Cordelia: Get 'em off!

He runs for the hose.

Cordelia: (terrified) Get 'em off of me! Oh, my God, get 'em off me! (screams)

Xander grabs the hose and starts spraying the mealworms off of her. She keeps screaming and turns her back to him, then her front again. He keeps spraying as she tries to brush them off. She turns around again to let him spray her back again and reaches down the back of her dress to get some mealworms out. She turns back around.

Cordelia: Okay, okay, let's get outta here! Xander, let's go!

He keeps spraying her in spite of her protests.

Cordelia: Okay! Let's go!

She runs for her car. Xander follows her with the hose for another instant, then drops it and follows her. Cut to a close-up of her license plate, "QUEEN C". She floors it, and they burn rubber into the street. Further down the block she screeches round the corner.

Cut to the halls at the school. Buffy and Willow stroll along past the career fair displays.

Buffy: My tests say that I should look into law enforcement -- duh! -- and environmental design.

Willow: Environmental design. That's landscaping, right?

Buffy: I checked the 'shrub' box. But landscaping was yesterday, so law enforcement it is.

They stop near the steps to the couches in the lounge. Buffy looks around and notices Oz looking over at Willow.

Buffy: (to Willow) Hey, Will, don't look, okay, but... (Willow looks) No, don't look! (smiles) That guy over there is totally checking you out.

Willow: (looks with her eyes) Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity.

Oz gets up and starts to walk over.

Buffy: Really? Then why is he on his way over here right now?

Willow is surprised when she sees him coming.

Buffy: Told you! (makes a discreet exit)

Oz: Hey.

Willow: (smiles) Hey! (notices) Your hair! Is brown!

Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes. So, uh, did you decide? Are you gonna be a Corporate Computer Suit Guy?

Willow: Oh. Uh, well, I-I think I'm gonna finish high school first. What about you?

Oz: I'm not really a computer person, you know. Or a work of any kind person.

Willow: They why'd they select you?

Oz: Oh, I sorta test well. Y'know, which is cool. E-except that it leads to jobs.

Willow: Well, don't you have some ambition?

Oz: Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.

Willow: Huh?

Oz: Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger.

Willow nods, pretending to understand.

Cut to Buffy. She signs up at the law enforcement table and joins the group. Patrice, the recruitment officer, picks up the clipboard and looks it over.

Patrice: Alright, listen up, and answer when I call your name. Buffy Summers.

Buffy raises her hand. Patrice calmly puts the clipboard back down. Quickly she draws her gun and aims it at Buffy. Buffy reacts in a flash and pushes the recruiter's hands and weapon up into the air as the first round goes off. Panic sets in throughout the hall, and people start to run and duck for cover. Buffy keeps struggling with the officer, and another round goes into the ceiling. She knees her in the gut, and she drops the gun and falls to the floor. Buffy starts to run as Patrice gets to her knees and pulls out her backup gun. Another bullet flies at Buffy as she dives over a table. She stands up again and looks around at everyone.

Buffy: GET DOWN!

She starts to run again, right past Oz and Willow. Patrice follows Buffy with her aim.

Oz: LOOK OUT!

He lunges for Willow and pulls her to the floor with him, but takes the next bullet meant for Buffy in the arm. Patrice keeps following Buffy with her gun and shoots off the cranium of a skeleton. Buffy has disappeared down the hall, and the police recruiter carefully makes her way to the wall to peek around it down the hall. She doesn't see her, but senses that she's there, and decides to go to the other end of the wall to come around the other side. The camera pans to the other side where Buffy is leaning against the wall, breathing hard and waiting for Patrice to make her next move. When she is about to come around the other corner, Buffy leaps over a table and tackles her to the floor. She drops her backup gun and it slides away. Buffy gets to her feet and adopts a fighting stance. Patrice gets back to her knees, pulls out her small ankle backup and aims it at Buffy as she stands back up. Before she can get off a round Kendra kicks the gun out of her hands. She follows it up with a kick to Patrice's face, making her fall flat on her back. She makes her stand next to Buffy. Patrice grabs Jonathon as a hostage, pulls out a short blade and threatens him with it. The two girls watch her slowly back toward the door at the end of the hall with the boy in tow. Halfway there she drops Jonathon and makes a dash for the door. Kendra doesn't hesitate to give chase. Buffy rushes over to Oz and Willow and kneels down next to them. Oz is holding his arm.

Buffy: How is he?

Willow: He's shot! (to Oz) Are you okay?

Oz: I, uh, I'm shot! (takes his hand away briefly and chuckles) Y'know. (laughs) Wow! It's odd! And painful.

Buffy gets up again when Kendra shows back up.

Kendra: She's gone.

Jonathon: W-was that a demonstration?

Buffy looks around at the scene.

Cut to the library. Giles has the first-aid kit out, and Willow is wrapping Buffy's knee.

Buffy: She was definitely one of the Taraka gang, Giles, and way gun happy.

Giles: This, um, Oz chap, he, he, he's alright?

Willow: The paramedic said it was only a scrape. Thank goodness.

Cordelia and Xander walk into the library. Kendra tries to head them off.

Buffy: Down, girl!

Xander: Who sponsored career day today? The British Soccer Fan Association?

Giles: (on his way to the table) We had a, a rather violent visit from the Order of Taraka.

Xander: You wanna talk Order of Taraka? We just met the king freak of the... (sees Kendra) Hello.

Kendra looks at the floor, humbling herself before Xander.

Giles: Oh, forgive me. Uh, Xander, Cordelia, this is Kendra. Uh, i-it's rather complicated, but she's also a Slayer.

Cordelia: (heads for the table) Hi. Nice to meet you.

Xander: A Slayer, huh? (to Buffy) I knew this 'I'm the only one, I'm the only one' thing was just an attention-getter.

Buffy: (hops off of the counter) Just say hello, Xander. (makes for the table with Willow)

Xander: Welcome. So! You're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.

Kendra: (nervous) Uh... I hope... I tank you... I mean, sir, um... I will be of service.

Xander: (looks at the others) Great! (to Kendra) Good. It's good to be a giver. (goes to the table)

Giles: Xander, um, this, this, uh, assassin you encountered, what, uh, what did he look like?

Cordelia finds a mealworm in her hair and freaks out. She drops it onto a book on the table and gets up.

Cordelia: Uhh! Uhh! Ohmigod, I'm showering! (runs from the library)

Xander: (indicates the mealworm) Like that.

Buffy: You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?

Xander: No, but this dude was completely different than praying mantis lady. He was a man of bugs, not a man who was a bug.

He slams the biology book shut on the mealworm to kill it and sits down.

Giles: The, uh, the-the-the important thing is everybody's alright. Still, it's quite apparent that we're under serious attack.

Buffy: These Taraka are definitely serious. (looks at Kendra) Fortunately for me, so is Kendra.

Giles: And, uh, I fear the worst is still to come. I've, I-I've discovered the remaining keys to Drusilla's cure. The, uh, the ritual requires that, the presence of her sire, and it must take place in a church on the night of the new moon.

Buffy suddenly looks very concerned.

Kendra: The new moon. But that is tonight.

Giles: Exactly. And I-I'm sure the assassins were here to kill Buffy before she could put a stop to things.

Buffy: They need Drusilla's sire. You mean the vamp that made her?

Giles: Yes.

Willow: Buffy, what is it?

Buffy: (looks down) Angel. He's Drusilla's sire.

Xander: Man, that guy got major neck in his day!

Willow slaps him hard on the shoulder.

Buffy: Will this ritual kill him?

Giles: Yes, I'm afraid it will.

Buffy: We need to find this church. We need to find where this ritual is gonna take place!

Giles: Agreed, and we must work quickly. (checks his watch) We have five hours before sundown.

Willow: (opens her laptop) Don't worry, Buffy, we'll save Angel.

Kendra: Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla!

Xander: Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.

Buffy: Look, you've got your priorities, and I've got mine. Right now they mesh. So, are you gonna help me, or are you gonna get out of my way?

Kendra: (considers) I'm wit you.

Buffy: Good. 'Cause I've had it. Spike and Darla are going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend!

Part 3

Drusilla's room. She runs her hand across the lid of an elegant wooden box labeled 'Holy Water'. She sings quietly as she lifts the lid and takes out a small crystal pitcher.

Drusilla: The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch. (approaches Angel) My mummy ate lemons. Raw.

She kneels next to him. Angel is tied to the posts of her canopy bed by both wrists high above his head.

Drusilla: She said she loved the way they made her mouth... (runs her hand down and up his chest) tingle. Little Anne.

She lets some of the holy water trickle onto his chest. It steams and burns like acid. Angel jerks his head back in pain and stifles a scream.

Drusilla: Her favorite was custard... brandied pears.

Angel: Dru...

Drusilla: (sternly) Shhh! (stands up) And pomegranates. (climbs onto the bed behind Angel) They used to make her face and fingers aaall red.

She reaches over his shoulder and lets more holy water dribble onto his chest. Again Angel grits his teeth in pain, but won't let himself scream out loud.

Drusilla: Remember? Hmm? Little fingers. Little hands. Do you?

Angel: (shivering in pain) If I could...

Drusilla: (interrupts angrily) Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake, and eggs, and honey. (sweetly) Until you came and ripped their throats out.

She pours the rest of the holy water onto his chest, and Angel screams out loud in agony. Darla enters.

Darla: (looking into a book, not noticing angel yet) Dru, have you seen...(Senses angel and looks up)...(stunned)What is going on here!

Drusilla: (excitdly clapping her hands) Spikey found him for my party!(on Darla's shocked/angry look) You knew we needed him, grandmummy.

Darla: (walking over to them, grabbing Dru by the arm) You've had your fun, Dru. Now get out!

Drusilla: (pouting) But I wasn't done...

Darla: OUT!

(Drusilla scampers away)

Darla: (setting down the book and slowly circling the tied up Angel, evaluating the damage already done) Well, well, seems you've already started the party without me...(picking up holy water bottle) You remember how much I love to torture people, don't you Angelus?

Angel: (gritting his teeth) I remember.

Darla: (tossing aside the bottle) Ahh, and do you remember how much we used to like torturing each other than? (Straddles his lap)

(Angel grimaces)

Darla: I knew you did. (coos) Now let's see. Dru's already taken care of fire, that's a shame. But that leaves just enough room for hot, cold, and sharp.

Angel: (unfazed)If you're gonna let them kill me tonight, you'll never be able to turn me back.

Darla: (stunned for a second) Who said anything about me letting them kill you?

Angel: I know the ritual. So do you. I have to die.

Darla: (smiling like she knows some big secret) Not necessarily. Now, don't worry about Spike and Dru, I can take care of them. Trust me, you're not going to be the one dying tonight. I just hope that you're weak enough for my plan to work.

Angel: So that's it? You have some ancient gypsy magic up your sleeve to change me back?

Darla: (ignoring him) You used to like sharp the most, if I recall. (takes out a knife and smiles)

Angel can only brace himself.

Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the stacks and heads toward the stairs with a large volume full of pictures. Willow is sitting on the steps websurfing on her laptop. He looks down at her screen and sits down next to her.

Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? (pulls out a roll of mints) That seems a little excessive. (tears off some wrapping)

Willow: It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.

Giles offers her a mint, and she smiles and takes one. He gets back up and continues over to Xander and Cordelia at the table.

Giles: Well, check and see if any of them are closed or abandoned.

Xander: Yeah, yeah, we got monsters, we got demons, but no bug dude or police lady.

Giles sets the volume down in front of them and opens it.

Giles: Well, you should have better luck with this one. There's a whole section devoted to the Order of Taraka.

Cut to Giles' office. Kendra looks through the window at them doing their research. Buffy is sharpening a knife.

Kendra: And dose two, dey also know you are de Slayer?

Buffy: Yep.

Kendra: Did anyone explain to you what 'secret identity' means? (goes to the desk)

Buffy: Nope. Must be in the handbook. (Kendra picks up the crossbow) Right after the chapter on personality removal. Be careful with that thing!

Kendra: Please. I'm an expert in all weapons.

The bolt flies off of the crossbow and breaks a lamp. Buffy startles. Giles heard the noise from the main room.

Giles: Is everything alright?

Buffy: Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp.

Kendra: Sorry! Dis, uh, trigger mechanism is different. (sets the bow down) Perhaps when dis is over you can, uh, show me how to work it.

Buffy: When this is over I'm thinking pineapple pizza and teen video movie fest. Possibly something from the Ringwald oeuvre.

Cut to the main room. Xander turns the page and finds a drawing of the bug dude.

Xander: Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo.

Giles and Willow come over to have a look. Xander reads in another book.

Xander: Okay. Okay. He can only be killed when he's in his disassembled state. (to Cordelia) Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his liiittle buggy parts.

Cordelia: I know what it means, dorkhead.

Xander: (takes mock offense) Dorkhead! You slash me with your words!

Giles rubs his eyes. Willow raises her eyebrows at them.

Cut to the office. Kendra is handling a stake.

Kendra: Your life is very different dan mine.

Buffy: You mean the part where I occasionally have one? Yeah, I guess it is. (carves at a stake)

Kendra: De tings you do and have, I was taught, distract from my calling. Friends, school... even family.

Buffy: Even family?

Kendra: My parents, dey sent me to my Watcher when I was very young.

Buffy: How young?

Kendra: I don't remember dem, actually. I've seen pictures. But, uh, dat's how seriously de calling is taken by my people. My modder and fadder gave me to my Watcher because dey believed dat dey were doing de right ting for me, and for de world. (puts down the stake and gets a sympathetic look from Buffy) Please, I don't feel sorry for meself. Why should you?

Buffy: I don't know, I... I guess it just sounds very lonely.

Kendra: Emotions are weakness, Buffy. You shouldn't entertain dem.

Buffy: Kendra, my emotions give me power. They're total assets!

Kendra: (picks up her knife) Maybe. For you. But I prefer to keep an even mind. (wipes the blade)

Buffy: (puts down her knife) Mm. I guess that explains it.

Kendra: Explains what?

Buffy: (plays with the stake) Oh, well, when we were fighting, uh, you're amazing! Your technique, it's flawless, it's, hmm, better than mine.

Kendra: I know.

Buffy: Still, I woulda kicked your butt in the end. And ya know why? No imagination.

Kendra: (rubs her blade more vigorously) Really? Ya tink so? (puts down the rag)

Buffy: Oh, I know so. You're good, but power alone isn't enough. A good fighter needs to know how to improvise, to go with the flow. Uh-uh, seriously, don't get me wrong, y-you really do have potential. (puts away the stake)

Kendra: (holds her knife ready) Potential? I could wipe de floor wit you right now!

Buffy: (looks Kendra in the eye) That would be anger you're feeling.

Kendra: What?

Buffy: You feel it, right? How the anger gives you fire? A Slayer needs that.

They both look over at Xander as he walks into the office.

Xander: Excuse me, ladies.

Kendra looks down at the floor while he grabs a book from the desk. Xander notices her knife.

Xander: Nice knife. (leaves the office)

Buffy: I'm guessing dating isn't big with your Watcher either.

Kendra: I'm not permitted to speak with boys.

Buffy: Unless you're pummeling them. (has a realization) Wait a minute.

Kendra: What?

Buffy: That guy! The sleazoid you nearly decked in the bar.

Kendra: You tink he might help us?

Buffy: I tink we might make him!

Cut to Drusilla's room. Darla is kneeling between Angel's spread-apart legs, he has many small cuts and new bruises on his torso and arms. Darla is slowly rubbing his shoulders in mock concern.

Darla: Now then, if only we could get that soul out of you...I wonder if I could cut it out?

Angel: Darla...why are you doing all this?

Darla: Wow, you have been out of the game for to long. This (gestures to her torture devices around them) is fun!

Angel: Why not let them kill me and be done with it? Why try to turn me?

Darla: (looks down sadly and slowly circles her arms around his neck) You don't know what it's like.

Angel: What what's like?

Darla: (looking directly in his eyes) Walking around for the past century without you.

Angel: Yeah, I do, Darla. (cruely) It's really not been that hard.

Darla: (angrily slaps him hard, he winces) No, you don't! You get to walk around all soul-boy and feeling sorry for yourself because of what you are! I remember what it was like between us! I remember what we did together, Angelus! (searching his face with her eyes) You don't...

Angel: I remember every horrible thing we did, every person.

Darla: But you don't have this horrible sinking feeling in your chest, this disappointment. I do. You feel bad for what we did, I want to do it all over again!  
(look into each others eyes, Darla's almost pleadingly and his confused)

Spike: That's it, then. (Darla breaks her gaze and looks up at him) Off to church.

Darla: (trying to check her temper) I was in the middle of something, Spike.

Spike: Pft! I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre-show.

He reaches up to untie one of Angel's bonds while Darla gets off his lap and grabs the book for the ritual before exiting. Drusilla enters when Darla leaves)

Angel: Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes best, as I recall.

Spike: What's that supposed to mean? (steps over to the other bond)

Angel: Ask her. She knows what I mean.

Drusilla has come back to stand behind Spike's shoulder, and he turns his head to face her.

Spike: Well?

Drusilla: (to Angel) Shhh! Grrrruff! Bad dog.

Angel: You shoulda let me talk to him, Dru. Sounds like your boy could use some pointers. She likes to be teased.

Spike has finished untying the other bond and throws it to the floor.

Spike: Keep your hole shut! (stands over him)

Angel: Take care of her, Spike. The way she touched me just now? I can tell when she's not satisfied.

Spike: I said SHUT UP!

He grabs Angel by the throat, lifts him to his feet and holds him against the bedpost.

Angel: Or maybe you two just don't have the fire we had.

Spike: That's enough.

He pounds his other hand into the wooden railing of Drusilla's bed, grabs the piece that broke off and holds it up to stake Angel.

Drusilla: Spike, no!

Spike holds back. Angel tries to goad him on with a stare. Drusilla steps over to Spike and gently puts her arm on his shoulder and snuggles up to him.

Drusilla: Shhh.

Spike: Oh! Right. Right, you almost got me! Aren't you a 'throw himself to the lions' sort of sap these days. Well, the lions are on to you, baby. See, if I kill you now you go quick, and Dru hasn't got a chance. And if Dru dies your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates are spared her coming-out party. (squeezes Angel's throat)

Drusilla: Spike, the moon is rising. It's time.

Spike: Too bad, Angelus. Looks like you go the hard way. Along with the rest of this miserable town.

He keeps holding Angel against the bedpost as he and Drusilla engage in a passionate kiss.

Cut to Darla outside the bedroom. She looks almost as if she was crying. She is clutching the book and has an malicious smile on her face.

Cut to Willy's bar. Buffy shoves him up against the shelves of liquor bottles.

Willy: Ah! Honest! I don't know where Angel is!

Buffy: What about this ritual? What have you heard?

Willy: N-nothing! I-it's all hush-hush!

Kendra: Just hit him, Buffy!

Buffy: (to Willy) She likes to hit.

Willy: You know, m-maybe I did hear something about this ritual. Yeah, i-i... I-it's coming back to me. But, uh, I'd have to take you there.

Buffy: Let's go. (starts to drag him out of the bar)

Kendra: First we must return to de Watcher.

Buffy: (stops) Excuse me? While we run to Giles, this whole thing could go down!

Kendra: But it is procedure.

Buffy: It's brainless, you mean! If we don't go now, Angel could die. (starts out again)

Kendra: Is dat all you're worried about? Your boyfriend?

Buffy: (stops again) No, it's not all, but it's enough.

Kendra: It's as I feared. He clouds your judgment. We can't stop dis ritual alone!

Buffy: Are you listening to me? He could die!

Kendra: He's a vampire. He should die. Why am I de only person who sees it?

Buffy just stares at her a moment before turning around again and heading for the door with Willy in tow.

Kendra: Are you dat big a fool?

Buffy shoves Willy out ahead of her and leaves Kendra behind in the bar.

Kendra: (exhales) Good riddance, den.

Cut to the church. Cut inside. Willy leads her down an arched hallway.

Willy: Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through in a pinch.

They round a corner, and Patrice and a vampire are waiting there for them.

Willy: Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through in a pinch.

Norman and another vampire block her escape from behind.

Part 4

The nave of the church. Spike walks up the main aisle from the altar with a burning incense censer. Darla is sitting in one of the pews looking extremely bored. She is filing er nail into a sharp point.

Spike: Eligor. I name thee. Bringer of war, poisoners, pariahs, grand obscenity.

He turns back to the altar. Angel and Drusilla are both strapped together to a chain that hangs from the ceiling. Angel's right hand is tied to the chain above his head.

Spike: Eligor, wretched master of decay, bring your black medicine.

Drusilla: Black medicine.

Spike sets the censer down on the altar and picks up the Du Lac Cross with his gloved hand.

Spike: Come. (holds up the cross upside-down) Restore your most impious, murderous child.

Drusilla: Murderous child.

Angels glances to Darla who is now watching but looks only half interested. She sees Angel and winks at him, smiling.

Spike grabs the downward-pointing tip of the cross with his other hand and yanks down, pulling out a dagger. He lays the rest of the cross back on the altar.

Spike: From the blood of the sire she is risen.

He takes Drusilla's left hand and raises it to Angel's, and she clasps it.

Spike: From the blood of the sire, she shall rise again.

With one swift stroke Spike stabs the blade through their hands. Angel screams in agony. A blindingly bright pink light emanates from their wounds. A pulse of energy spreads out, and then the light dies back down to a faint glimmer as Angel's strength begins to ebb from him into Drusilla. She droops backward, feeling Angel's energy flow into her. Darla is now standing, nonchalantly walking closer to the trio.

Spike: Right, then! Now we just let them come to a simmering boil, and remove to a low flame.

Darla: (rolling her eyes) Wow, Spike. You sure know how to liven up a ritual, huh?

Before he can retort, Willy barges through the door and strides into the nave with the vampires and assassins escorting Buffy close behind.

Willy: It's payday, pal. I got your Slayer.

Spike strides up the aisle to meet him.

Spike: (angry) Are you tripping! You bring her here! Now!

Willy: You said you wanted her.

Buffy sees Angel and Drusilla tied together at the altar. Darla notices this and looks a little paniced. She backs away into the shadows.

Spike: In the ground, pinhead! I wanted her dead.

Willy: Now, that's not what I heard. Word was there was a bounty on her dead or alive.

Spike: You heard wrong, Willy.

Buffy: (whispers) Angel.

Spike: Yeah. (steps over to Buffy) I think it bugs everyone in the room seeing them like that. Another five minutes, though, and Angel will be dead, so... I forebear. Don't feel too bad for Angel, though, he's got something you don't have.

Buffy: (angry) What's that?

Spike: Five minutes. Patrice!

She lets go of Buffy and draws her gun. Buffy struggles to get loose from the vampire holding her. The other door suddenly bursts open, and Kendra comes in doing a series of backflips, ending in a flying double kick, one foot to the back of each of the vampire's heads. They fall to the floor, pushing Buffy into Spike and knocking him down. Kendra lands on her feet, ready to fight. She wastes no time running over to Spike as he gets up, meeting Buffy there to fight him.

Spike: Who the hell is this!

Kendra grabs him by the shirt.

Buffy: It's your lucky day, Spike.

Kendra: Two Slayers! (decks him)

Buffy: No waiting! (jabs him)

Spike falls but quickly gets up. Buffy breaks off to fight Patrice, leaving Kendra to take care of Spike. He ducks a roundhouse kick from her. Buffy faces off with Patrice. She extends her arms down, and a blade slides out from each sleeve. One of the vampires gets up from the floor next to them and starts to reach for Buffy when a bolt impales him. He falls and turns to ashes while Giles looks on from the door, still holding the crossbow. Buffy and Patrice begin to fight hand-to-  
hand. Patrice thrusts one blade, then the other at Buffy, but she catches her arms and holds them up while she knees Patrice in the stomach. Buffy follows up with a kick to her face and sends her stumbling back into the wall. Spike lands a punch on Kendra, knocking her down, and she scrambles to avoid his follow-up kick. The other vampire gets up also, and Giles runs to engage him. He swings the crossbow at him, but the vampire grabs it, and they struggle over it. Giles swings at the vampire and hits him in the face. Willow jumps up onto his back and starts choking him with her arm. Xander spots Norman and taunts him.

Xander: Hey, larvae boy! (Norman sees him) Yeah, that's right, I'm talkin' to you, ya big cootie!

Norman smiles and starts after him. Xander scrambles for the doors and carefully steps through as he closes them behind him to avoid stepping into the puddle of liquid adhesive Cordelia has poured there. She still has the bucket in her hand.

Xander: Welcome, my little pretties!

Norman comes under the door as a mass of mealworms. Back inside Giles punches the vampire twice while Willow keeps holding on. Kendra jumps over Spike when he tries to knock her legs out from under her. She tries another roundhouse kick, but he blocks it. He uses the momentum of the block to spin around and hit her again. Patrice gets back up and comes for Buffy. She ducks a kick from Buffy and lunges at her with her blades, but Buffy handily blocks her. She swings at Buffy's face with one, but Buffy ducks out of the way. Out in the hall the mealworms have gotten stuck in the adhesive and Xander and Cordelia begin to stomp them. Inside Kendra swings at Spike and is blocked. Spike lands another hit on her. Buffy punches Patrice in the face and sends her staggering back into the wall again. Spike punches Kendra again, and follows up with a roundhouse kick. She hits the floor and scrambles back up again. Buffy notices her getting knocked around.

Buffy: Switch!

She bends over and Kendra rolls over her back to face Patrice, immediately landing a punch and knocking her into the wall a third time. Buffy faces Spike.

Spike: I'd rather be fightin' you anyway.

Buffy: Mutual.

She blocks his thrust, then kicks him in the face and again in the gut. He doubles over and falls to the floor. In the hall Cordelia and Xander continue stomping away.

Cordelia: Die! Die, die, die! Die!

Xander puts his hand on her lower back to calm her.

Xander: I think he did, Cordy.

She drops the bucket and they run off. Inside, Buffy blocks a punch from Spike, and another, but then he lands punches to her stomach and face. She blocks his next swing and holds his arm while she punches him twice in the face. She grabs his coat and pulls him around and throws him over several pews and into the wall. Behind another pew Willy gets up. Spike growls as he stands back up and sees Willy trying to sneak out of the church. He rushes over and grabs him by the back of the neck.

Spike: Where are you going?

Buffy seizes the opportunity to run to the altar and pull the dagger out of Angel and Drusilla's hands.

Willy: Now, there's a way in which this isn't my fault!

Spike: They tricked you.

Willy: Mm-hm! They were duplicitous!

Spike: Well, then I'll only kill you just this once. (goes for the bite)

Drusilla: (weakly) Spike!

Spike stops before biting Willy and looks over at her. He sees Buffy trying to untie them. He lets go of Willy and rushes over to the altar, grabs Buffy and shoves her to the floor. He backhand punches her as she gets back up, knocking her down again. Willy wastes no time running out of the church past Willow and Giles, who are still fighting the other vampire. Giles has him held back by both arms and Willow has a stake raised to kill him.

Willow: Hold him steady!

She plunges the stake into the vampire's heart and he bursts into ashes, leaving Giles all dusty. Xander and Cordelia run into the back of the nave as Willow pats the dust off of Giles. Patrice throws Kendra over a knocked-over pew and climbs over after her. She swings at Kendra twice, but misses both times when Kendra ducks. She swings again and this time slashes her in the arm. Kendra grabs her wound and looks down at it.

Kendra: Dat's me favrit shirt! Dat's me only shirt!

Now Kendra is really mad, and she kicks Patrice in the back of the knee, making her lose her balance. She grabs Patrice by the arm and throws her into a cabinet in front of the organ, smashing it to pieces and knocking her out. Kendra runs over to join the others. Spike takes a torch from its wall hanger and throws it into a pile of old drapes, setting them ablaze.

Xander: Look out!

Spike unstraps Drusilla from Angel.

Spike: Sorry, baby. Gotta go.

He lifts her into his arms and starts down the aisle.

Spike: Hope that was enough.

With nothing holding him up anymore Angel falls to the floor behind them. Buffy crawls over to him and sees Spike making his escape. She stands up and grabs the censer from the altar. She swings it around her head by its chain a few times and launches it at Spike. It hits him in the back of the head, and he stumbles into the church organ. The keyboard console collapses under his weight.

Buffy: I'm good!

A moment later the organ superstructure collapses onto Spike and Drusilla, with its huge brass pipes clanging and rolling everywhere. Buffy turns her attention back to the alter where Angel...isn't.

Buffy: (paniced, looking aroun) Angel! Angel!

Kendra sees the way the church structure swaying.

Kendra: We have to get out!

Buffy: Where's Angel!

(Heavy beams and ceiling pieces start to fall ablaze around them)

Giles: Buffy, we must go now!

Buffy: Not without Angel!

(Kendra and Xander run up to grab the frantic Buffy)

Xander: Come on, Buf!

(They pull Buffy out while the others run out of the church The wreckage of the organ has caught fire now, too.)

Cut to the school lounge the next day. Oz is getting a box of animal crackers from a vending machine. His arm is in a sling. He straightens up and sees Willow there.

Oz: Oh, hey! (offers the box) Animal cracker?

Willow: (smiles) No, thank you. How's your arm?

Oz: (tries to open the box) Suddenly painless.

Willow: You can still play the guitar okay?

Oz: Oh, not well, but not worse.

They start to walk down the hall. Willow takes the box from him to open it.

Willow: Y'know, I never really thanked you.

Oz: Ooo, yeah, please don't. I don't do thanks. (Willow hands back the open box) I get all red. Have to bail. It's not pretty.

Willow: (smiles) Well, then forget that thing. E-especially with the part where I kind of owe you my life.

Oz: (pulls out a cookie and stops) Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.

Willow: (smiles) Yeah, I-I see!

Oz: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that?

Willow smiles brightly.

Oz: You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen.

Willow is surprised by the compliment.

Oz: (continues down the hall) So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!'

Willow laughs.

Oz: And you know the monkey's just, (with a French accent) 'I mock you with my monkey pants!'

Willow laughs more.

Oz: And there's a big coup in the zoo.

Willow: The monkey is French?

Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?

Willow: No. (giggles)

Cut to another part of the halls. Cordelia comes walking along. When she sees Xander she immediately turns and walks the other way. Xander runs around her and stops her.

Xander: We need to talk.

Cordelia rolls her eyes and crosses her arms as she goes into an empty classroom. Xander looks back and forth down the hall to make sure no one sees them going in together and follows her. He stands a distance away from her. They both fidget with their hands.

Xander: Okay, uh-uh-uh... here's the deal. We don't have to run every time we see each other in the hall.

Cordelia: Right. Okay. Why shouldn't we run?

Xander: What happened, there's a total explanation for it.

Cordelia: You're a pervert?

Xander: Me?

Cordelia: Yeah!

Xander: No-no-no-no! (takes a step closer) I seem to recall I was the jumpee, my friend!

Cordelia: As if! (takes a step closer) You've probably been planning this for months!

Xander: Right, I hired a Latvian bug man to kill Buffy so I could kiss you. I hate to burst your bubble, but you don't inspire me to spring for a dinner over at Bucky's Fondue Hut.

Cordelia: Fine! Whatever. (starts to leave, but steps back, closer) You know, the point is: don't try it again!

Xander: I didn't try it! (calms a bit) Forget about the bugs, okay? The memory of your lips on mine makes my blood run cold.

Cordelia: (steps closer) If you dare breathe a word of this...

Xander: Like I want anyone to know!

Cordelia: Then it's erased!

Xander: Never happened!

Cordelia: Good!

Xander: Good!

Cordelia: Good!

They stare into each other's eyes for a moment, and then grab each other in another mad, passionate kiss. This time they don't break off.

Cut to the front of the school. Buffy is walking with Kendra.

Kendra: I spoke with my watcher. He said I should stay until we find Angel.

Buffy: (looking sad and confused) Thanks, I just don't know what...(starts to cry a little)

Kendra: (looking uncomfortable) It's ok, Buffy. I'md sure dat we will find him.

Buffy: (nodding her head) I don't know what to do. I checked the sewers, his apartment, the church. Everything. He's nowhere.

Kendra: He'll turn up. I will help you find him.

Buffy smiles sadly but continues to walk into school.

Cut to the abandoned mansion we see in later season 2. Angel is laying on the bed, sleeping or unconscience. It is unclear. Darla looks on from the doorway, staring at him. She smiles and enters.

Cut to the church. The fire has burned itself out. The camera pans over the scorched rubble of the pipe organ to Spike, unconscious but breathing. Drusilla grabs him by the arm. She is vamped out.

Drusilla: Don't worry, dear heart.

She pulls him off of the floor and holds him up by his arm. His head just droops down.

Drusilla: I'll see that you get strong again.

She scoops up his legs with her other arm.

Drusilla: Like me!

Slowly she carries him from the charred remains of the church. 


End file.
